February 18, 2006

AMC

Drama and Intrigue and Body Bags Talking!  Lost Sons and Dead Sons and Dead Wives So Shocking!  Palmer and David and Pills Laced With Strings! These are a few of my favorite things! 

*Sigh*  AMC sho do know how to sweep the sweeps!  What guy doesn't like exploding thingies and falling stuff!  I got to see Jack ignore the advice of everyone around him and get beaned in the head by a beam for his efforts.  I almost choked on my popcorn laughing so hard at that one.  Di dressed like a fish and Julia dressed like a bird and Erica dressed like an angel and Jamie dressed like a turd.  I am so on a rhyming roll here.  There was so much to talk about regarding the grande attire of everyone at the Mardi Gras Gala BEFORE it exploded, but that has been delightfully dusted upon by Katrina in her Easy As ABC column this week and she promises that My Darling Kate will go all out on an All My Schmattes in her column this week!  I'd talk about people's hair, since that's my cup of tea, but there was not anything particularly remarkable.

I did have to look twice at Kendall's photo in Katrina's column, however:

For a minute, I thought this was taken after the ball and Kendall had lost some limbs in the explosion.

Ah, silly me, just the photo angle.

Then I looked at the photo of Opal:

...and did not remember the mass of roses plastered onto her arm.

Ah... silly me, those are behind her.

I'll bet if you were in a slightly altered state and looked at that dress of Opal's, those lace swirllies would start to look like faces and would turn and talk to you. (Yes, truthfully, they do and it's doggoned skeery, OK?, so shut up.)

I'll bet Jill Larson thought she'd never again wear freedom puffs.

Coming up:
Dixie does the obligatory skulking around town that ones does when she's coming back from the dead. That's how we should have known from the beginning that Diana Cole was not Dixie - No Skulking. There is at least a one week skulking rule for all dead people who are coming back to town. Of course, she is very alive when she's bitching out Di for stealing her life (I would pay good money if Di would fire back, "Why not, bitch, you weren't using it!!").  Wouldn't it be loverly if after he learned Dixie was alive, Tad still chose Di?  A good "sticking one's tongue out at one's half sister kick her while she's down" moment if ever I thought of one, so says I.

Cuh-razy Janet is still on the prowl and as if blowing up someone's mansion isn't enough (who's mansion WAS that, anyway?), she steals our little redneck princess, Babe, and her blue blooded offspring, Little A(sshole). A bit of locking Babe & Babe in the bedroom here, a smattering of talking to JR there ("The dingoes didn't eat yo baby, Babe stole him!") and voila! More havoc comes down on Pine Valley. (Has anyone checked on Trevor, lately? )

"Oooh that smell! Can't you smell that smell? Oooh that smell! The smell of death's around you!"

All three shows are stinkin of death for February Sweeps! OLTL finally killed off Margaret Cochran for real and if Dr Truman is to be believe, he brutally murdered her baby as well (and I was actually hoping for a "Blair falls in love with Todd's rape baby" story... damn...). GH went all out and will kill off THREE characters: Tony Jones (and how great was that death scene!!!), Courtney Matthews and Danny McCall. No, as I said last week, Cameron is safe.

AMC ends the possibility of the Cambias heirs ever making nice by killing off Ethan, my poor Simone's true love. Zach, I suppose, was not nearly angst-ridden and bedeviled enough and lord knows we have to have our men sufficiently dark and broody and demonized from within. Now Ethan will die and Zach will be filled with regret over turning his back on his son. Having been denied the fancy, millionaire wedding, I suppose Simone will be relegated to the closet again story-wise. How marvy it would be if Ethan had the foresight to leave a will making Simone the wealthiest woman in Pine Valley.  Nothing would please me more.

But wait!  Why does she need money when Julia the Dragon Slayer is there to comfort her?

Being stuck in a body bag does not exactly leave Krystal with a renewed appreciation for life, but more of a renewed appreciation for death... primarily that of her husband who she blames for ending up in the body bag to start with. I guess when lovins leave you breathless, the EMT's think you are dead. They have little time to bicker over a little toe-tagging amongst friends before learning that Babe and Little A(sshole) are missing.

Everyone seems to know about Josh's parentage except Josh, meaning it's going to explode outward in no time, even though Erica decides to keep the truth to herself.

Kendall and Ryan will be sharing a smoochie the week of the 27th while Zach bonds with Dixie. Sorry little Zendallites. Ryan has to have that daddy scene.
 

OLTL

Monday
John takes over the plane when the pilot is accidentally killed;

I guess they didn't have one of the little inflatable pilots that steers you to safety, huh?

Cristian accuses Natalie of wanting to buy his paintings because she pities him;

The first time I read that spoiler, I thought it said, "buy his panties" and I tittered like a little girl. 

Adriana is stunned to see Rex with another woman and confronts him.

Someone should tell ol' Adriana the story about "snoozin" and "loozin."

Tuesday
John and Todd survive the plane crash;

Because they are still under contract, duh!

Blair tells Spencer that she is still in love with Todd;

I think he already knew that when he banged her like an eight penny nail, y'think?

Rex and Adriana realize they both jumped to the wrong conclusions about each other.

And the music swells.

Wednesday
John and Todd start a fire and build a shelter in order to survive the night;

As long as it is not a cabin.  Nothing good comes from a cabin on OLTL.

Rex continues to search for his child Paige gave up for adoption;

If you are actually looking for a red herring, what then?

Dorian rushes to to Clint's side after learning about Asa's heart attack.

As any good stalker should!

Thursday
Nikki tries to get answers from Sam;

*blink*blink*  Sam?  I'm guessing this is the heretofore unknown owner of The Hot Spot?

Starr and Blair get news about Todd;

Unless that news is "he didn't do it," I'm thinking it won't really make any difference.

Paige is not sure she wants Rex to find out the identity of her son.

Yeah, that's dicey.  Like a pregnant woman has to have the obligatory miscarriage threat, anyone looking for a long lost child has to have second thoughts. 

Friday
Todd is more determined than ever to prove his innocence;

Once they start sharpening the needle, it does change a person's perspective.

Natalie takes her anger out on Cristian;

Like that's news?

Adriana is infuriated by Dorian's attempt to manipulate her.

Or that?

Stay Cool Everyone,