Monday:
A tornado tears through the church, seriously injuring Natalie
and Evangeline;
I find it interesting that an act of God managed to
reach into a building made of stone, glass, metal and wood and
physically attack, among a huge group of people, the two folks
in Llanview who irritate me the most, thereby proving that God
Loves Sage more than He loves the rest of you. Sorry
folks. I am the favorite child, as has been proven in
living color on our teevees. Of course, Antonio is still
running around loose out there, but hold your doubts,
naysayers. God takes care of that one as well.
John tends to Natalie's leg wound;
I'll bet he tells her to take off her shirt and bra so
he can make a turkey neck to stop the bleeding.
Cristian
helps Evangeline;
Blind for 20 seconds and she already has a seeing eye
artist. Lucky broad.
Kelly and Duke act on their feelings;
As well they should after the evisceration Kevin
performed on Kelly. I don't even LIKE Kelly and I was
devastated for her. All I had to do was close my eyes
and pretend he was talking that trash to Gina Tognoni's Kelly
and my tears were rolling. What a bastard. I hope
when he finds them in the rubble, they are still joined at the
privvies. I hated Kevin before and now I hate him any
more. If ANYone slights Kelly for banging Duke's brains
out, they will have to answer to ME (and since God is on my
side, they'd better think twice or they'll be feeling our
WRATH!)
Marcie
tells Michael to go help at the hospital;
Married for 27 seconds and she's already bossing his ass
around.
David taunts
Spencer.
Loved the photo tribute! "Say cheese!" Pity he
couldn't email it to the governor to grant Todd a reprieve!
Tuesday:
Paramedics arrive to take Natalie and Evangeline to the
hospital;
They took a whole day to get there? That's a lousy
response time!
John reveals his feelings for Natalie;
What, to a tree? Because lord knows he's not going
to tell HER.
Cristian vows
to stay at Evangeline's side;
From the looks of the past few months, he didn't have
anything better to do.
Antonio, Nash, Tess and the baby
are in a crash;
See? If Antonio had just let them leave when they
wanted to, they'd be safe at home in a fortress by the time
the storm hit. Whadda dork.
The stalker kidnaps Adriana;
If the next line is "and takes her far, far away," then
the stalker is an act of God as well.
A second tornado
hits.
Just in case all of the people I hate were not maimed by
the first one.
Wednesday:
Cristian stays with Evangeline as she hears her prognosis;
You will never again have an interesting scene.
Natalie's condition improves;
Because how much really good bitching can you get done
from a hospital bed?
John learns that David is in
Bangkok;
Does he snigger behind his fist when he hears "Bangkok?"
Spencer orders Denton to track down David and
Margaret;
They are sure getting their $5 worth from the Denton day
player!
Nash revives Antonio;
After he is ELECTROCUTED by a hot power line that comes
for him. Bwahahaha. I rest my case.
Kevin finds Duke and Kelly in
the rubble.
More like he finds them in trubble. Even though he
drove her to it (as much as if he'd thrown her into the Benz
and stepped on the gas himself), no doubt there's going to be
more trash talk about whores and sluts and betrayers.
Sometimes the wrath of God is not physical pain, but mental
torture, like finding your fiancée naked in rubble with your
horny son.
Thursday:
Kelly and Duke are in critical condition;
But was that before or after Kevin found them?
Kevin is forced to
make an impossible decision;
Scotch or gin? Shaken or stirred?
John refuses to abandon his plan
to please Natalie;
There are two ways to read that spoiler, so I am
stumped. It could either be saying that he has a plan
which he refuses to abandon just to please Natalie or it could
mean that he has a plan to please Natalie and refuses to
abandon it. Head hurts. Moving on.
Natalie takes action;
Good thing she's all better. >:<
Antonio opens his
heart to Tess;
If only we were speaking literally here, as in cadiac
surgery of the "do it yourself" kind.
Tess makes a kind gesture to Antonio.
I have some hand gestures *I* would like to make to
Antonio, but none of them could really be described as "kind."
Friday:
Bo warns John not to do something he will regret;
If he kills David Vickers, we will ALL regret it!
John gets a
surprise when he boards the plane for Bangkok;
"Bangkok."
Spencer
performs a very risky surgery on Kelly;
Risky because it might undo the sinister surgery he did
on her before?
Kevin anguishes over
his decision;
"Hmmmm. Save my cheating bitch ex-wife finacee or
my betraying son? I think I'll have a drink and
contemplate my options."
Todd has disturbing dreams about Margaret.
That she's alive and well and hanging out with David
Vickers?
General Hospital
Monday:
Jason convinces Alexis that she is Sam's mother;
Because as everyone in town knows, Jason never lies!
Alexis
breaks down in Jason's arms when Sam's condition worsens;
Whoda thunk it? Interesting the changes one piece of
information can make.
Sonny
tells Ric about Sam and Alexis;
Just like he told Emily about Sam and Alexis when it was not
his to tell. This guy is our new Amy Vining.
Jax is certain of his actions;
And doesn't really care that his actions would be considered
wholly unethically by most rational thinking people.
Luke
and Robert compete for Holly's affection;
Why can I only think about Tracy in this?
Lucky finds a note.
Yes, I left it. It says, "Get out while you still can."
Tuesday:
Jason and Alexis are unlikely allies as the watch over
Sam;
I dunno. I think it makes perfect sense, actually.
Emily has a suggestion to help Sam;
"Have Sonny, uh, bang her. It makes everything, um, better."
Nikolas is angry at Jason
for keeping Sam and Alexis apart;
??!! Since when does snotboy have a voice in this?
Sonny wants to reach out to Jason;
"How am I supposed to live without you? Now that I've
been lovin you so long? How am I supposed to live without you
when all that I've been living for is gone?"
Georgie feels abandoned;
I'm sure her stalker friend will be happy to keep her company.
Dumb bitch.
Lucky thinks Elizabeth is cheating.
Pfft. At checkers, maybe.
Wednesday:
Sam's condition goes downhill and Noah informs Jason
that Sam's brain is bleeding;
You've got to admit, Jason is going to be a hard sell that
brain damage could be a bad thing. To his mind, his life only
got better after a little rock lobotomy.
Elizabeth tells Jason that Patrick
could save Sam;
OK, OK, I can't resist. Here's the poem:
That Sam I Am, that Sam I Am
We cannot save that Sam I Am
Can we save her with a Sonny bang?
We can't even save her with Sonny's wang.
Can Patrick Drake save her life?
Not without some Robin strife.
What if Alexis is her mama?
No way without some angsty drama.
Doctor Emily is on the job!
But Emily is a freakin' knob
What if Epiphany will assist?
Then Noah will no doubt be pissed.
Can we just kill her off the show?
We asked but Guza said, "No Go."
Is she pregnant? Can she be fired?
Her contract's not a bit expired!
This should be good for a week to pass
Then Miracle Hospital can fix her ass
She'll be as good as new again
As soon as sweeps come to an end.
That Sam I Am, that Sam I Am
We have to heal her now. Damn.
(The End)
Alexis clashes with the mayor;
It was bound to happen with her penchant for lime green power
suits and his affection for pink gingham dresses.
Lucky learns that
Elizabeth has been meeting Patrick;
With all the swag Dr Testosterone throws out there, you've got
to figure there's going to be some husband fall out somewhere.
Lucas asks Guy to the prom.
Makes sense because from the way GH presents it, Guy is the
only other gay man in New York.
Thursday:
Jason and Alexis disagree about Patrick performing the
operation on Sam;
One has to wonder if he would get distracted by her massive,
perfectly formed bewbies and forget to actually do the surgery.
Being a non-medical person, I am stunned that she was shot in the
lower, left back, but is bleeding in her brain.
Robin and Lulu try to convince Luke, Robert and
Holly that they are too old for such adventures;
Yeah, good like with that one, whippersnappers.
The bounty hunters
return;
A picture is worth a thousand words (For SB):
Emily is unsettled by Sonny's behavior.
After the whole "put a hit out on your brother" thing, NOW
she's unsettled.
Friday:
Noah warns Patrick that Sam would never survive the
surgery;
The voice of doom has spaketh.
Jason enlists Patrick and Elizabeth to help him get his
way;
I'd love a team of people who help me get my way, but if they
are as insufferable as Patrick and Emily, I'll pass.
Alexis threatens Jason;
Why not? It's been almost a whole week now.
Emily is worried about Sonny's
attitude;
He just isn't settling well into that "let's not kill people"
dictate she issued.
Luke and Robert battle the bounty hunters;
Carly battles
with Jane.
My money is on Luke, Robert and Lady Jane by a long shot.
Stay Cool Everyone,
