Spoilers I use for commentary are based on those used
with permission from Soap Zone and Carol Banks Weber:

Howdy, Loveys!!

My DARLINGS, it is so precious to have a bit of quiet after the madness of the first part of my November.  Now, at last, my life is settling back down into blissful, tranquil, uninterrupted Sageness.  I love the descent into the dark of the year when activity slows down, the world gets a little quieter and a little more contemplative.  It makes me think of nights in front of the fire with some warm Stephen's Vanilla Sipping Cocoa (Bailey's or Captain Morgans loaded into it) and only the sound of snowflakes hitting the windowpanes breaking the silence. 

Of course, I live in California and we're running about 70 degrees in the daytime and 40 degrees at night.  The tsunami evidently caused the poles to shift slightly, so we're getting this prolonged Autumn (which honestly, is OK with me too) and probably a shift in the other seasons as well.  I know that Summer was not nearly as hot for us as it usually is.  So the times they are a chaaaannnnging and that's not always a bad thing.  In fact, it seldom really is. 

UNLESS, of course, you're talking about change of a VERY negative kind that brings me to...

Nov 20, 2005

AMC Commentary

PLEASE GOD MAKE IT STOP!!

One minute, I've got JRighteousindignation Chandler chewing on Di's ass a little bit more when we all know he should be thanking his lucky stars that she's only a half-aunt and not his mother because now all those unseemly little Oedipal nudges can actually be legally endorsed in several states (but probably not any New England ones, so he might be assed out still, but hell Aunt Mama, we can MOOOVE!).  Back me on this, Kate.  Next, I've got Hoooolia Than Thou Santos giving new meaning to the term "badass," throwing her angry little face and bad little attitude all around Pine Valley, reminding anyone who has the misfortune to come into contact with her (God help the hapless souls who are trapped in line at the bank or DMV with her) about her horrible lot in life.  Speaking of which, is she still someone else or does she have to get all new ID now that she's back to being Julia?  Does she even exist any more?  Where does she get her money?  Does she just raid Maria's closet, even though Maria's about 6 feet taller than Julia?  Or Sam's for the endless track suits?  Have I missed the scene (sometimes, it's just too painful to watch) where Isabelle showed up and slapped a few people on Julia's behalf?  Did I actually hear Kenny Rogers break into "Coward of the County" when Sam "my voice is breaking but I can pack a jammie" Grey take down his deddy's pistol to go whip up on some Gatlin/Lavery boys?  I thought he was actually going to tilt over forward when he was trying to hold that gun out in front of him to pop poor little Jonathan.

Thank the lord that Aunt Hooolia was there to convince him that he wasn't mature enough to handle the weight of a man's death on his conscience.  Of course, of Jonathan had been murdered by Sam Grey, not only would we be rid of Sam, no doubt sent away to some cushy rich boy's prison for a few months of indepth therapy to treat his post partum depression (fuss about that, Tom Cruise, I'm ready for you), but we could also give Ryan a new cause to champion and a brand new stinky albatross to wear around his neck in shame.  Self-flagellation seems to be a sacred rite for the Lavery family and Chris Stamp is lucky to be dead and shed of the whole lot of these wankers. 

Of course, NOW we have the ostracizing of Kendall to witness as she is made (yet again) the pariah in town for using her own eggs to make Greenlee a mother after Green's eggs (and I know *I* would not eat Green's eggs and ham!) went balls up in the black out.  I guess no good deal does go unpunished and it is my extreme hope that we won't endure a Greenlee recast and instead will get to stand on the porch and wave her ass goodbye, Beverly Hillbilly style ("y'all don't come back now, y'hear? ...Bitch")  If Greenlee's departure does not spur on an exit by Ryan (not a chance), we will no doubt get to add THAT notch to his long gunbelt of shame and dismay that he publicly whacks himself with every freakin episode.  I like Cameron Mathison well enough, but damn, I'm so done with Ryan I can't stand it. 

Jackson struts around and postures like a little banty rooster, barking and waving his cock-a-doodle-a-doo around for all to see, whether he makes sense or not.  Through some twist of TV interpretation, I could see Olivia and the DA looking at him like he was a blustering buffoon the whole time he was ranting on and on about Jonathan (talk about my own projecting).  It's a rough day in Jacksonville when Erica is the one making sense.  Of course, Jackson will be totally vindicated when he does come out, as I think it will, that Jonathan is absolutely playing everyone. 

No more Dani to speak of!  No more Reggie!  No more David Hayward!  No more Palmer!  All of my very favorites are barely getting any screen time at all, including my little ray of beautiful sunshine, Lily, who is now reduced to worshiping at the Jonathan Lavery altar, even down to donning her special protective sunglasses to open his friggin ketchup.  At that point, I very nearly choked on my own vomit.  I can't seen a scene with Adam in it that isn't supporting the obvious notion that he's secretly enraptured by his redneck strumpet of a wife.  Babe and Jamie and JR and Amanda are enough to send me to bed with an eyepillow and a belly full of pain killers.  

It has to get better.  It has to and that is the only reason I am still around.  If 100 monkeys on 100 typewriters over 100 years can eventually type out the declaration of independence (or however that theory goes), one would imagine I could eventually get a somewhat decent scene out of this show that makes my reluctant dedication (let's face it, I'm just not a beater of dead horses as a rule) to this lame duck show worth my sacrifice.  Believe me, there's stuff I could be doing between noon and one that would avail me more, like washing my hair, picking my toes and organizing the spices alphabetically in my cupboard.

AMC has really stabbed me in the back by not giving a crap at all about whether or not they are spotlighting the characters I hate most. 

Psst:  Friday's AMC is a repeat of the episode where Kendall interrupted Ryan and Greenlee's wedding

OLTL Spoiler Commentary

Unlike the frank and profound disdain I have for AMC in its current state, I am enthralled and captivated by OLTL!  I don't ever expect a show to focus totally on me (although that would be just evah so nice!), but OLTL is covering enough of the bases in trumps to keep me happy. 

• John and Cris are still unable to break from the bonds of a Carlo-mandated Statesville uprising. While in the clink together, in such dire circumstance, the two enemies arrive at a mutual understanding, less the rancorous for it.  They both engage in conversation about how much Natalie means to each of them, and how much they will each do, their best, to earn her, when they get out of this hellhole. Let the best man win, is basically their healthy attitude.

Over time, I have come to not appreciate Natalie very much, mostly as a result of her incessant bitching and whining and complaining.  That being said, I have to say that she is the only part of this story that I have not enjoyed completely.  I have not cared much for Cris since Yorlen Madera left the show and this is really the first time that I have completely enjoyed the David Fumero version of Cris.  Pitting Cris and John against one another for the love of Natalie, plus bringing in the wild card of Carlo Hesser has been a joy to watch.   I have found the pacing of the prison riot to be nearly perfect.  If it continues on beyond this week, I will likely be done, but so far, so good.  

• Cris, however, believes with all his heart that he belongs with Nat, not John.

Cris thought his heart might belong with John?  Pfft, I knew it. 

• Back to the prison uprising and its mastermind, Carlo “I don’t like negotiations!” Hesser… Cris and John finagle proof of Carlo’s mastermind behind Cris’s brainwashing murder of Tico, by taping the criminal monologuing credit.

Doh!  Carlo should have watched enough old movies to know the villain must NEVER monologue their entire villainous plot plan!

• John and Cris make a break for it, seeing a slim opportunity.  He's hit!  He's it! -- Cris goes down, but not for long.  Carlo's goons identify John as a police officer and move in for the chokehold.  A roused Cris beats off the goons, preserving John's life.

The innuendos are so rampant in that spoiler paragraph I am afraid to get started.

• Reeling, Natalie ends up sharing with Rex the incredible news of John Doe as Cristian and John knowing the entire time.

Cause we know she's just got to tell someone!

• Nat also discloses to Rex what’s deepest in her heart, both men, lodged in there but good. Damn them!, she also cried, if they never met her, she’d probably be better off.

Or if she watches a rousing few viewings of "Paint Your Wagon," she might get some ideas.

• Armed with such information, Rex heads for Statesville, intent on going into the fray of the prison uprising himself, until Haskell prevents that.

Oh come on!  Rex can totally take out Haskell (who, for reasons I cannot fathom, reminds me of Ted "Theodore" Logan's father)

• Bo expresses what he can of paternal concern for Rex’s welfare about this foolish maneuver.

Oh just adopt him, already, Bo!

• He’s hit! He’s hit! He’s down! In the middle of the prison fracas, a bullet pierces Bo in the neck.

Of all the places to get shot, the neck is probably the least favorable.  Now he and Nora will both be breathing out of tubes!

• Nat can’t seem to stay away from the prison goings-on either.

She has to place her bets on which of her men is going to emerge triumphant and then be pissed that she isn't all they talk about after being in the middle of a riot.

• Evangeline is the person to fill in Michael about his brother John’s prison predicament.

At least someone thought to tell family!  I wonder if anyone will get around to telling Carlotta and Antonio the truth about Cris!

• Lookie Michael and Natalie so cozy, concerned together about John. Hmmm.

See? That's who *I* think she should choose.

• It’s too much for strong Tess to bear. It being her riotous feelings.

Riots are just aplenty this week!

• The jackals circle their prey, meaning Spencer. Karma, dude.

Can we have a good ol' whodunnit killing?

• Next week:  John plays Carlo, picking at any weakness, searching for any opportunity… Carlo maneuvers John and Cristian like his little chess pieces. In the end, their precious Natalie will turn up missing, and in Carlo’s custody. And, the two loves of Nat’s life will face their Waterloo at Carlo’s hands… Spencer and Paige operate to save Bo from the bullet wound in his neck. At first, it seems like a routine procedure, but now it’s very touch and go for Bo, Spencer senses… The alters Niki and Tess surface and mingle.

All sounds MAGNIFICENT!!

No OLTL on Friday.
 

GH Spoiler Commentary 

• What if you held a funeral, but nobody came? Nobody but two lovers. Ric and Sonny send Reese off in a private ceremony. Then, after remarking about Reese to Ric, Sonny lets his younger brother grieve, solo. They are far from a family repair.  Alone with the dead Reese, Ric thinks about his life, his past, his choices and what is necessary to make up a helluva lot to his family now.

I am definitely surprised by the indignity afforded to Reese when the actress was brought on in a flame of glory and seemed to be on canvas to stay.  Blessed with the affections of two of the hottest brothers in daytime, she was in the catbird's seat until... until... whatever happened that pushed her into the disgrace of a 20 second death scene (as Katrina put it, "She's not breathing."  "She's gone."  "Cut") and now the nonfuneral.  There seemed to be so much more to flesh out between Carly and Reese about their past and having Ric deal with his torn emotions between Reese and Alexis would have been interesting.   The conflict between Reese and Durant was good drama and it really seemed like there were places they could have taken the character.  I say that, not even being a particular fan of Reese's.  Now, all she has become is yet another "Poor Frickin Emily" plot device.

• Jason’s is a case of the treatment (almost) worse than the cure. Robin is completely aware of this, but because she’d rather risk the worse of the treatment than the eternal of the alternative – meeting his Maker – she keeps mum about possible side effects and symptoms of her experimental drugs. Also, Robin figures Jason would balk, if he is given full disclosure of those terrible side effects and symptoms.

Isn't that, well, illegal?  Informed consent and all?

• The side effects and symptoms will become increasingly obvious, as Jason’s mind endures all sorts of calamities, vivid, terrible bad dreams, leading the GH staff to confine him to his bed.  One particularly gruesome nightmare has Jason screaming for mercy.

I am betting it was the reindeer sweater.

• Robin concedes to Sam that yes, she kept quiet about the full extent of what Jason would go through under her experimental care, but with noble reasons.

Every time Robin ruins yet another life, it's for the noblest of reasons.

• Jason’s main problem throughout the experimental treatment has more to do with the confinement to his bed than anything else. Following a harrowing bad dream, he demands to be free from the shackles chaining him to the bed, and Sam agrees, passing on his demands to those in charge.  Sam goes one better. Sam demands Robin cease the experimental drug treatments altogether, for the sake of whatever’s left of Jason’s mind and body.  Against her better judgment, Robin acquiesces.

Man, Robin has just turned into quite a little quack, hasn't she?

• Jason overrides Sam’s wishes, though, and gives in to a last-ditch attempt to cure himself of his brain problems. Robin acquiesces. Let the record show that Sam doesn’t approve.  Robin dispenses her experimental drug for a final try, on Jason, with his permission and not Sam’s.

Sounds like Robin is acquiescing a lot.  Has she also become a pushover?  Does she still cross her arms and look prim when she acquiesces?

• The final try renders Jason’s heart null and void, for about 15 seconds, the time it takes for him to be revived.

Miracle Hospital!

• Out of concern and love for Jason, Robin removes him from her experimental drug therapy for good, after finally facing that maybe it’s too much for him.

Or facing that maybe her experimental drug sucks.

• And, Jason could still perish, with or without that drug therapy.

As could we all.

• Sam and Jason, let’s try paradise again, maybe we’ll get lucky and a stork will swoop by our place and…

You know, I THOUGHT she looked pregnant when she was talking about the anniversary of their baby's death.

• Warm, fuzzy moment between Alexis and Sam, including Alexis desiring Sam tidings of good cheer, maybe a baby on the way.

Are they buddies now?

• Sonny experiences a kind of déjà vu, when he beholds Carly #4 (Laura Wright) making herself at home at his home, with their kids.  Carly and their kids seem straight out of a Norman Rockwell painting. Except the part about Carly building up little Michael’s hope for a family reunion. That’s when Sonny intercepts, taking on the role of the grown-up.

It's pretty sad when someone as selfish as Sonny is being the grown up.

• After the boys are put away, Sonny takes Carly aside to determine her agenda, because, in his eyes, she’s clearly not sanity-ready.  Carly announces her intentions to and for Sonny, to reclaim him for her own, again, the whole Let’s try this for a fourth time ball of wax.  Almost recoiling, Sonny sorts through what’s real (his abiding love for her) and what’s her hopeless fantasy (their re-marriage). Sonny makes it crystal to Carly that she and he are really through romantically, while he swears he won’t abandon her as the mother of their kids.

With her, his swears are exactly easy to bank on lately.

• Carly soundly rebukes Sonny, disappointment, frustration and so much rage playing upon her irate face—with her about-face. This is about the time little Michael returns, walking in on their verbal, emotional skirmish.

"If you keep this up, Wayne Campbell, you're going to lose me!  Harrumph!"

• Michael quizzes his parents on the meaning of this, Sonny raising his voice and making his mommy sad, but they smooth things over with him.

And if you hold a chicken upside down and rub its neck, it will go to sleep.

• Sonny and Carly resolve for her to finish up her stay at Rose Lawn.  Carly resolves to make the best of her stay at Rose Lawn. That is, until her meddling father, John Durant, tries to get a rise out of her with his tall tale about Sonny with Emily now.

Which doesn't sound like it's all fiction.

• Lorenzo’s about to be on the receiving end of Carly’s warpath, when she learns that he precipitated the Ruiz nightmare, however inadvertently.

She's got a lot of rage from a lot of directions to channel somewhere.  I guess Lorenzo was the lucky target (and Carly was crazy way before the Ruiz family came to town).

• Carly and Luke indulge in a Spencer skirmish.

Now THERE'S good drama!  This is where we will see if Laura Wright has the "Wright" stuff.

• Lucky and Elizabeth determine that Lulu’s best interests are served out from under their roof.

Boy, was that dumb.  I guess ol' Lesley just hit the wall on taking care of other people's kids.

• Luke ventures to heal some of the break between him and Lulu. Prognosis, doubtful.  Skye bridges their gap, as best she can.

This girl sure does do a lot of mediating without pay.

• Total recall, ala Jason Morgan… everything but the kitchen sink, and the reindeer sweater. Thank you, Robin.

But does he remember his medical info so he, too, can be a doctor now?

• Emily can think of little else but what her presumed negligence did to cause Reese’s end. Maybe, the pre-med student muses, sadly, she should think of another line of work.  Dillon keels over, and all Emily can do is stare, transfixed with immobilizing dismay. This behavior cinches it for her.

Yep, time to start wiping tables at Kelly's, Dr Screwup.

• Courtney ends her trifling with the two most sexy, handsome, eligible men in Port Charles. After putting Nikolas off, then Jax, then back to Nik, she gains insight into her personal dilemma, unable as the woman she is, to stick with her husband, with the real love she feels instead for her lover. Confused?

Wait a second, WHO'S on first?  (I dunno's on third)

• It’s definitely not what Jax wants to hear, but hear it he does, heart breaking, as Courtney goes back on her word and pronounces she’s going back with Nikolas, the man she really loves, baby or no baby.  A changed man, Jax doesn’t press his luck, much. He merely asserts his rights as the unborn baby’s natural father.

On the surface anyway.

• A free Helena, means a dangerous Helena, especially for women and their Cassadine children.  Helena orders Courtney to keep her mitts off Nikolas, or suffer the cursed consequences. Courtney, defiant. Helena, resolved.

Are there any Cassadine children?

• Helena proposes she and Jax pair up together to ensure Courtney and Nikolas never come to be. Jax declines, and runs off, searching for Courtney to alert her to this dangerous change.

I wonder if she will think he's making it up.

• Helena tries to see to it that Courtney listens, even if it hurts. But before the Cassadine matriarch can impart her brand of torture, Nikolas blocks her.  If at first she doesn’t succeed, try, try, try again, which is just what Helena does, swooping in for another attack on Courtney, involving water. Jax’s turn.

Does Courtney melt when Helena throws water on her?

• Nikolas takes a huge chance, gambling on permanently putting a stop to Helena’s destructive impulses against Courtney.

Didn't he learn his lesson on the cliff?  Some dogs just cannot be trained.

• Lorenzo puts on the paternal for an update on Diego and his struggles with school.  Bad grades are the least of Diego’s concerns. He senses the end (as a free man) is near, because he senses others, like Brook Lynn, are onto him.  So then…Diego puts the moves on Brook Lynn. ??  What are naked shots of her doing in Diego’s backpack?, wonders a nosey Brook Lynn, with a cold shiver.  Diego unburdens himself about the roofie stalker case. Whoops! Brook Lynn now, officially, knows all about his true face.  Brook Lynn, with Lorenzo, goes about coaxing Diego to give himself up to the cops as the roofie stalker and take his punishment like a man.

So... he really is the roofie stalker?  Looks like another GH Day Player bites the dust!  The Alcazar gene pool is just not looking so great.

• Luke sets his sights on an ELQ bonanza, by hook or by crook.

Like about 20 years ago he did this.  :)

• Carly pulls a oneupmanship on the master Spencer. Almost like old times.

pz0WNd!

• Next week:  Robin’s hard work and faith pay off, when Jason stirs, rousing back to his old self – Jason Morgan, not Quartermaine, sorry… Overjoyed, relieved, all that good stuff, Sam begins planning her and Jason’s future together, complete with a white-picket fence and little rugrats… It’s been awhile since Luke threw his hand into the action-adventure ring. It’s time… Not so fast, not without a little notice and props to Carly, as much a Spencer as she ever was, and quite capable of standing up to Luke, even teaching him a few sneaky maneuvers… If it’s the last thing she does, Carly will regain her true sense of self, sans the insanity plea.

Would she BE a true Spencer without a little insanity plea?

Psst:  GH on Friday will be a reairing of Nikolas and Emily's wedding.

I hope all of you have a glorious Thanksgiving and are surrounded by scads of friends and family.  I will be basking in the love and friendship of Maxine and Kurt, checking the turkey and stuffing for signs of pieces of The Head.

Love,

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