April 15, 2007
Come on in and take a
seat at the counter! Mike’s got some cookies baking in the kitchen that are
so good, you’ll have to have one even if you’re grounded for locking your
parents in the basement. If you’re being hounded by paparazzi, you should
definitely try our new garlic burger. Take a bite, then just head over to
the reporters and breathe on them—they’ll disappear in no time! What’s that
you say? Sounds like gunshots coming from downstairs? You’ll get used to
them; this is Port Charles after all.
I’m fairly certain that
The Powers That Be have found a warehouse where you can buy shooting
montages in bulk. They just pull one out every couple of months and attach
it to a Friday episode when they’ve run out of ideas. It’s the same place
they buy scenes of Carly fighting with Sonny, Lucky saying “blah blah Our
Baby blah blah,” and mustaches for Ric and Alcazar to twirl.
Apparently, Luke and
Tracy are physically involved these days. Who knew? It might have been
nice to see some build-up but I guess there’s only so much room for romance
on a soap opera. I think Carly and Jax are hogging it all with his latest
proposal. Is this the third or fourth time Jax has proposed? I really
can’t keep track! And that ring was ridiculous. I know Jax is rich but I
didn’t know he could afford the Hope Diamond.
I think Cooper might end
up being Maxie’s big love. He’s genuinely supportive of her and gets major
bonus points for saving her from a hitman. Cool, calm, and collected enough
to hit a target within inches of your girlfriend’s head—that’s sexy. I plan
to just ignore the fact that he’s a former hostage taker and presently a
mole for Sonny. It’s so much nicer to just think of him as a police cadet
who knows how to treat a woman right. I’m a little weary of all the gray
characters on this show. I want to be able to actually root for a good guy
once in awhile instead of having to choose between mobsters, hitmen, and
nutcase district attorneys. They have plenty of men on the canvas that
could be good old-fashioned heroes but always seem to make them look like
idiots instead of the dashing young men that they are. I would be so
excited if Lucky, Nikolas, and Patrick got to play suave actions heroes once
in a while like Robert, Luke, and Sean used to do. Granted, Patrick and
Nikolas aren’t spies or policemen, but I’m sure they could hold their own
when the situation called for it. Nikolas carried Robin out of the Metro
Court like an old pro in February. I’m sure he took a class or two on
rescuing damsels in distress during his princely training.
I’m still mulling over
Dillon and Lulu’s date. It seemed setup to show that they aren’t on the
same wavelength as Dillon’s romantic movie scene did not impress Lulu at
all. She’s too down to earth to actually romance, so I’m not sure how the
other boys will make out either. I’m hoping we don’t have to watch her date
with Milo because I really can’t stand the character. Pulling a gun because
someone might be flirting with your crush? If I was Lulu, I’d never talk to
Milo again. He’s prime material for a psycho abusive boyfriend. And he’s
way too young and inexperienced to be believable as Sonny’s main bodyguard.
Apologies to any Milo lovers out there, but I’m hoping he’s a casualty in
the next, inevitable, mob shootout. If he’s lucky, he’ll even be featured
in a montage. As for Spinelli, I don’t want him with Lulu for his own
sake. He needs a woman who can appreciate his quirkiness and I volunteer
Georgie for the job.
So we know that Mr.
Monroe at least attacked Sam at some point and that Amelia is likely to be
his daughter. Even if Sam killed him, I don’t know why she’d feel like she
had to keep it from Jason so I’m not buying that a death is all that went
down. It’s hard to imagine what heinous crime she could have committed that
would repulse Jason. Did she wear Mr. Monroe’s leather jacket out in the
rain one day and then forget to treat it for water damage?
Thank you for your
patronage. Be sure to come back next week and grab a cup of coffee. You’ll
need it to make it through another week’s worth of secret glances between
Elizabeth and Jason.
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