July 11, 2007
I’ve created a special prix fixe menu in
honor of the new additions to the opening credits. For appetizers, sample a
selection of army rations and potato chips, hand-selected by a rather quirky
fellow with a funny name. The main entrée is a broiled chicken breast,
seasoned with a little lemon juice and guaranteed to be low on fat so you
can fit in the newest Valentino. For dessert, we have a devious devil’s
food cake, smooth and well mannered on the outside but possibly poisonous if
you take a peek past the frosting. I hope you enjoy these additions to our
regular selection!
Dillon exits stage right and makes me want to
kick him on his way out. Four years and a marriage with Georgie but he’s
torn up about leaving Lulu? I can understand that he feels connected to her
because of her abortion but the girl lied to him and broke up his marriage!
I’ll always have a soft spot for Georgie and Dillon because they were my
only enjoyment during the years of doom and gloom I call “When the Mob Ate
My Show,” otherwise known as my 2002-2005 hiatus. I’d randomly drop by
Port Charles for an hour and be mesmerized by these two shiny kids whose
names I didn’t know. Georgie deserves better than an ex-husband who’d rather
beg for scraps from Lulu’s table than give her a proper goodbye. Dillon, you
can come back once your favorite director’s knocked you down a few pegs
because his coffee was too cold.
Don’t get me wrong; I’m happy Dillon gets to
follow his dream. I’m probably just bitter that Ned came to him, not me.
Ned, honey, you can make my dreams come true anytime.
It’s amazing how Carly can make Jason’s
imprisonment all about her. She pays lip service for how horrible things
will be for him but then launches into the same old story she’s always
spinning. “I’ll go crazy without you Jason. How can I possibly act like an
adult if you aren’t here to hold my hand? How can I remain faithful to my
husband if you don’t keep me on a leash? How will I wipe my own ass without
you?” Carly’s breakdown last year did help her grow up a tad, but I think
Lainey forgot the session on empathy.
Maxie
and Logan seem to be cut from the same cloth as the young Carly who seduced
her own mother’s husband. Both are hellbent on destroying other people’s
lives in order to make their own seem less miserable by comparison. Despite
the tasteless sex bet, I enjoy watching their growing attraction. Sadly, I
think
Logan’s the only one who’s going to come out of this with
the “good” person he wants. Lulu will forgive him for the bet since she
will have connected with him emotionally by then but I doubt Cooper will be
able to do the same. Maxie’s ruining her chance at a nice, sweet guy who’s
crazy for her just because she’s drawn to the wild side. Run from
Logan while you still can Maxie; the bad boys never work out well. Just ask
Brenda.
The Night Shift must have a limitless budget
for hospital wear. I think I’ve seen more colors of scrubs this week than
could fill a jumbo box of Crayolas .
I really don’t understand why Jason, and by
default Liz, don’t want to prosecute the crazy chick who stole their baby.
Yeah, yeah, I was on a soapbox about empathy but a few short paragraphs ago
but this goes a little beyond that. It’s one thing to understand why she
did it and another to leave an unstable woman alone with a child. I guess
Jason’s piercing blue eyes saw right into her soul, yet another one of the
superpowers born out of his brain damage. He really should have thanked AJ
for the accident that helped him realize his true potential. All it took
was a little time communing with a tree.
Showdown
#1: Sam vs. Sonny.
I was ready for these two brawlers to break out the hair pulling. Sam took
her time just watching Sonny talk and forming her own arguments. I think
she’s taking debate lessons from her mother. The victory was hers when she
dubbed the Mobtastic Trio “The Chosen Ones.” So true, Truth-Telling One, so
true. Sam advances to the next round.
Showdown
#2: Sam vs. Carly.
Sam gets the first point for calling out Carly on barging into her home, yet
again. But Carly’s right, Jason’s going to drop Sam like she’s Ric in a
parking garage. This match goes to Carly, no question.
I’m simmering a batch of chicken soup to
soothe Tracy’s sonless soul in the Shadybrook kitchen, so stop on by for a
bowl. She’d really appreciate it if you could smuggle in a key to her
room. And a liter of bourbon, while you’re at it.
The Gourmez
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