November 6,
2007
I was nearly ecstatic when the opening for each day’s sweeps episode
switched to voiceovers. I dreaded the possibility of having two sweeps in a
row lead out with Nikolas in shambles everyday. The Black and White Ball of
Doom is much more interesting for me than the hostage crisis, I must admit.
Reason #1: Pretty Gowns. Reason #2: My love of B horror flicks. Now if
only Ash from Evil Dead could burst on the scene with his boomstick, I would
be satisfied. I could definitely see Sonny asking Kate to “give me some
sugar, baby.”
A million commentators have already weighed in on the travesty of a ball
honoring Alan Quartermaine, without, oh, any Quartermaines in attendance.
But I’m just going to have to make that a million and one. Seriously, only
Emily’s there to represent? That’s ridiculous. What harm would it be to
have a few Quartermaines lounging in the background, placing bets on who
bites it next? Ghost Alan would blend in perfectly in a gothic mansion.
He’s already dressed for the occasion in a black and white tracksuit!
The actor playing Anthony Zacharra has taken the villain archetype and run
with it! I’m expecting him to turn into a bat at any moment and release a
horrific “ha ha ha” that echoes down the halls. I’ll be severely
disappointed if we don’t get a swordfight out of this.
Can anyone give me a reason why Trevor Lansing is at the ball? Has he even
met Nikolas? Regardless, I loved the shot of him sitting on the throne-like
chair; let’s just say he looked comfortable in the seat of power. Plus, it
was fun watching Alexis tell him off in her cool, calm, Cassadine way for
his complete lack of interest in Ric’s well being. She’s really quite good
at putting people in their place. And even though she hates her exes most
of the time, she’s still got their backs when the chips are down.
Make sure to pay attention to the background shots—there’s been some
hilarious dancing and expressions. I think Spinelli nearly whipped Nadine’s
head off at one point when he spun her around.
Robin and Nikolas had the least awkward sperm exchange (bad choice of
words?) yet, even thought it took place in the middle of a ball. Could
Robin be pregnant as the fainting spell suggests? That’s usually the first
sign there’s a bun in the oven on soap operas. Sure, it’s been more than a
month since her break-up with Patrick but it’s not as if soap operas can’t
bend time—if they played by the rules, then Lulu’d still be a tweenager and
her many suitors would be rather creepy. At least it would explain her
horrible taste in boys; at 13 she wouldn’t know any better. But instead,
we’re supposed to believe that she’s the only one who can see the good in
not only Logan, but also Johnny. Pretty soon, she’ll be telling all of Port
Charles that Bin Laden’s just misunderstood.
I award Robin my prize for best hairdo. It’s very 40s glam, in my very
unprofessional opinion. Second prize goes to Kate Howard, though not for
long as a tumble with Sonny usually leaves one a bit tousled. Has anyone
bothered to tell them that a killer’s on the loose? Or is Sonny’s libido
sure it can fight him off single-handedly?
I’m going to be really upset if Cooper is killing people. He’s hot. And a
seemingly competent cop, which means he has no chance of survival.
Ric Lansing is now playing the role of Robin Scorpio from the last sweeps,
i.e.; lie on a couch for days, bleeding to death. Maybe he can get Carly to
stitch him up like she did for Robin. She’s great at sewing up
archenemies.
Jason speeding to Spoon Island is a moment that will live in GH infamy. I
think it was an attempt to placate those of us who miss the great action
sequences of GH past. Was that a bomb on the boat? They must not have had
enough money for another explosion after Sonny’s limo went flambé last
week. Give me a second while I roll my eyes at that death-defying stunt.
Do we get to know who Liz found dead or are we supposed to write him off as
a nameless benefactor and not ask questions? Any chance he was wearing a
red Star Trek ensign uniform? Those are usually the first to go.
I’m looking forward to the rest of this sweeps. Coming up next—paternity
reveal!
The
Gourmez
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