A Fan on the Edge 

            I have a confession to make.  I am a closet soap addict.  I’ve watch AMC and GH since I was 5, and have been hoplessly addicted ever since.  I like every soap fan of course have my favorites, scream at the TV when frustrated, and cry when my fictional world loses a player.  That being said, there is something I must get off my chest…  

            I am so sick of Sonny and Emily!!!  If I have to listen to her uh and um her way through another lame excuse to Jason, or rationalization to Sonny about why they should be together I just might start sending death threats to the writers.   I have now gotten to the point where I fast forward (I have DVR) through scenes with Sonny and Emily pre or post coital.  I only continue to watch scenes with them and others because I am praying to the Soap Gods that either a.) Carly will cold cock Emily and shout “Bitch that’s my baby daddy!” before beating her beyond all recognition, therefore opening the door for a NuEmily recast (no I am not a fan of Miss Natty Liv) b.) Jason finally becomes a true Quartermaine and does everything in his power and beyond to break them up, including attempted murder or c.) Tyler Christopher (and therefore Nikolas) pulls his giant head out of his ass, and begs Natalia (Emily) to give it another snot (I mean shot-really though, can someone PLEASE give this man a hanky), thus paving the way for a NEM reunion, which is far more tolerable to watch than “I’m not opening my eyes until you kiss me.” 

            I keep hearing that TPTB pay attention to the fans, and listen when they don’t like a character or abhor a pairing.  I have yet to hear anything positive from fans on this coupling, and I can’t understand why it has gone on this long.  Let’s discount the fact that when Sonny met her, Emily was like 14 or something (cause we all know Sonny likes them sweet, young, thangs) and just go right to the part where he is once again thinking with his winky and pointing it right at his best friend’s little sister of all people.  I know, I know, Jason hooked up with Courtney, much to Sonny’s chagrin in the beginning too, but the things is Jason NEVER lied to Sonny about his feelings or his relationship with Courtney. Ever since this “thing” started with Sonny and Emily, all they’ve done is lie to Jason, the one person who has never and will never lie to either of them.  Jason has done more for Sonny, sacrificed more for Sonny than Sonny has for himself.  After spending so much time and effort building this friendship, I am truly surprised at the writers blatant disregard for it.  They are writing this storyline in such a way that that friendship will never be repaired, and we the audience will no longer spend each scene between Sonny and Jason wondering this will be the moment when they finally break down and confess their love for each other with a passionate kiss.  That’s right folks, no more “Sonny and Jason are secret gay lovers” jokes cause it’s hard to make that analogy when one is always gunning for the other.   That’s just no fun at all.   

But I digress, I was talking about how much Sonny sucks at being a friend to Jason by boinking his sister behind his back.  I realize that with Carly about to bag Jax there’s a serious lack of females under the spell of the Blinding Glory of Corinthos (aka Sonny’s Penis), and so Sonny is kind of limited as who gets to play this round of musical beds with him, but this is just creepy and weird.  It feels incestuous and even if I catch a snippet of a scene between Sonny and Emily, I am overwhelmed by the immediate need to take a shower.  And scrub really hard.  I can’t imagine that I am the only one who dry heaves whenever starry eyed Emily snaps at someone that she loves Sonny and no one is going to come between them, as if they’re Romeo & Juliet.  I feel like TPTB are shoving them down our throats, trying to gain sympathy for their plight by turning all of Port Chuckles against their love.  Please.  Try that with any other couple, even Luke and Tracy, but this is Sonny/Emily thing feels wrong.  It’s just a whole bowl of all wrong.  I am part of that key demographic of 18-49 year old women, I am a fiercely loyal fan, and I have almost reached my breaking point.  The only thing that keeps me watching GH these days is the (second) return of Robert Scorpio, Luke, Skye, Lorenzo, Manny and the eminent, long rumored (and awaited) return of Helena and Stavros.  Port Charles needs more evil Cassadines, so Luke and Robert have something to more interesting to do other than chasing Chimps and Tracy Q (same thing).  But my attention is waning, and fast, so in short here’ s what TPTB needs to keep my finger off the FF button: 

NO MORE SONNY AND EMILY 

No more Alexis is Sam’s mother-make Sammy a Cassadine/Spencer like Prince Nikolas-it’ll be way more fun to watch.  

Get down on your knees and BEG Genie Francis to come back.  You’re going to need Laura in the picture if Sam turns out to be her long lost never known about daughter.   

MORE COLEMAN.  LOTS MORE.  In fact, just put ol’ Blake Gibbons on contract and find him a saucy minx (a love triangle with Lo and Skye?) to tangle with.   

No more Carly recasts.  Enough already with that business, you’re making me dizzy. 

Please for the love of God, buy NEW uniforms for the extras working at the Metro Court.  I keep wanting to play the washboard on everyone’s chest.   

Bring Back Anna Scorpio.  You can’t dangle Robert in our faces and then give us Holly instead.  That’s just mean.    

Bring Back Brenda.  Las Vegas can’t go on much longer, they’ve moved it to Fridays. 

More Lainey and Justus.  They put her on contract and we still know almost nothing about Dr. Winters-don’t waste this one it could be really good, plus it’s nice to know there are some African Americans in PC.  

More scenes with following men, sans shirts: Patrick, Lorenzo, Lucky, and Jason (does he do semi-nudie scenes?).

By Jaime