February 1, 2007
Up the Positivity!
Sure, I find plenty to complain about on the soaps, but after talking
with CC over at the Saloon over a few drinks (not those wussy kind with
umbrellas and fruit in them, but the hard core kind that melt all but the
thickest glasses and have smoke coming off of them when they are poured),
we decided to have DUELING COLUMNS! She would handle the negativity
and I would play Susie Sunshine and expound on the virtues of our golden
Is the glass half empty, half full or twice as big as it needs to be?
Only you can decide. Here's my take:
WHOOO HOOOO! It was more than I could ever have dreamed for and
we have a sliver of a chance that more is to come. God BLESS that
sweet Satin Slayer because "Ding, Dong the BITCH is dead!" Mind you,
I'd NEVAH be crass enough to dance on the grave of a real live
person, but a fictional character how has vexed and holier than thou'd and
"buttah wouldn't melt in mah mouthed" for decades...honey strike up the
band and hand mama her tap shoes cause I'm kickin up my heels! On
the (dancing) heels of that news comes the spoiler that, if even for a few
minutes, Babe is going to die and you've got me in blissy waves of
self-fanning ecstasy. AMC, you made my dreams come true. This
almost, almost makes up for the whole dismissing of Darling
Vincent issue. Hate AMC? Hell, if they would kill off
both Dixie and Babe, I'd marry the damned show (without a prenup).
I know everyone else is tooting this horn, but honey, it's true. That
Zach continues to be just cute as the proverbial bug's ear, even when
(especially when) heavily medicated. His love and respect for Kendall is
almost palpable. How often is it that we get that combination?
Usually, a couple loves one another in this purely desperate fashion
because they just can't stand to be apart. You really get the feeling that
the Slaters don't just love each other, but they LIKE each other and
are devoted to facing the world together no matter what. I'd say
they are the new Ruth and Joe except that "boring" could never be applied
to Zach and Kendall and, well, finish that sentence yourself.
You'd better watch out, you'd better not cry, you'd better not pout, I'm
telling you why... Babs Montgomery's coming to town and is ready to needle
and wheedle and bother Erica about Jack as much as she can, which to me is
like knowing a new episode of House or Scrubs or My Name is Earl is going
to be on (all of which we got/are getting this week, which puts me in an
absolutely stellah mood). Pass me the popcorn and turn up that
volume! ANYone poking at Erica with something other than a penis is pure-d
entertainment for me!
Bring it awwwwwn!!
Although Dixie's death was not lamented for days as yes, I know, well it
should have been, the flashbacks when it happened were just excellent.
It was a dear and only slightly annoying retrospective of the life of a
soap character and I even teared up a bit. Plus her angel outfit
came equipped with a Wonder Bra. It's just too sweet for words.
Speaking of too sweet for words, how can Death by Banana Peanut Butter
Pancakes NOT be wonderful! That was the BEST!!! That was better than
the exploding wedding cake cooked up by Ursula Whosit on OLTL (in the form
of Jill Larson, I might add!).
Even the resident Stepford Escapee had me laughing today. Ol'
collagen/botox face was just a'flapping her lips around Kendall while
Kendall blew her off and I thought it was hilarious. No one ignores
someone as completely and hatefully as Kendall ignores someone.
There's no doubt who won THAT meeting of the models.
After years of always sliding through every single catastrophe without
so much as a graze on them, the Carey women are on the verge of being
brought down from the grave with Dixie's dying words. When Adam finds out
that Krystal shared her special purpose with Tad and is carrying HIS baby
and knowingly giving that child the sacred Chandler name of "Charlotte,"
there is going to be hell.to.pay. We will finally get our old Adam back
again and that on the tail of JR seeing Babe tongue wrestle with Josh
again has to mean that these two trashy broads are goin' DOWN (and not
in their usual way). If I've still got popcorn and Whoppers left
after the Barbara-Erica smack down, I'm going to be pounding them down
OK, admittedly, Tad just ripped my heart out grieving for Dixie. Big
kudos to Michael E. Knight for beautifully, painfully conveying all that
Tad finally did lose when Dixie ate dem pancakes. (Will someone for
sure get that broad's pulse so we can make sure she's not only really
dead, she's really most sincerely dead this time?) Kelli Giddish
also did a fine job of breaking down at Dixie's funeral today and I felt
her crippling pain. Del when he beat up the papers after Dixie died;
meh, not so much.
I keep thinking of David sitting back and laughing over all that is going
on, then I think about him picking up a newspaper and reading that Dixie
is dead and being all sad. He needs comforting. I'm willing to take one
for the team and cheer him up. It's the least I can do. Get me
a do not disturb sign, a lemon, a bungee cord and some tootsie rolls and
if I'm not back in 2 days, don't come looking for me.
Did we drop the "Jonathan is crazy again" story? I kind of thought angry
Jonathan was hot in that intense guy kind of way. I don't want him
to beat up anyone (well, I do have a secret list, but that's a story for
another day), but if he could just walk around and look all broody, I'm
good with that.
AMC has cornered the market on finding really, really cute kids to play
the children of their "beautiful folk" characters. Most kids on daytime
look like puppies and chimps. These are absolutely gorgeous.
So those are my AMC happy thoughts.
Praise the lawd and pass the jujubees, someone FINALLY killed Spencer!
Hurray! I am still absolutely cracking up over the fact that Spencer
died of a fatal stab wound to the shoulder. That's almost as good as the
banana peanut butter pancakes. One little jab with the scissors and
he went over like a bag of beans. Since Spencer was pretty buff, one
has to wonder if some vital organ was accidentally relocated up into his
shoulder at some point.
That scene with Druggy Blair in the wedding dress was creepy and
hilarious at the same time. It's like biting into what you think is a
See's chocolate and finding Hagen Das inside. It's weird and surprising
and really cold and hurts your teeth a bit, but wow, it's just oh so good!
Knowing that Dorian and Viki are gearing up for battle #394858 is almost
as good as the brewing battle with Erica and Barbara!
What could possibly be better than more Lindsay and I have to say,
Catherine Hickland looks better than I've ever seen her! Divorce
definitely becomes her! (But to be fair, Michael E, Knight is
looking pretty hot these days too!) Watching Lindsay's gears turn as
she plots and schemes is like watching a master craftsman at work.
OH my oh my oh my David Vickers is back for a little while and a moment of
David beats out weeks of those other losers. I'd gladly wad up every
man currently on canvas and trade the lot of them off if I could just have
all David all the time. He's not just a man for all seasons; he's a
man for all scenes.
I am on the edge of my seat with Nash and Jessica. Yes, she's being a ho,
but wow, she's being a HOT ho and you almost, alllmost think that if Nash
was there looking all hot and naked in the sauna or hot and naked in a
cave or hot and naked about anywhere, the average person would quickly
forget they were married and that is WITHOUT the XXX implanted memories.
You can look at Antonio and know he's a show off in bed who would be
worried more about how his hair looks or what muscle is flexing on the
downstroke than what was going where and how and if his partner is even in
the room. Nash might be hot, but I'm betting that boy is thoroooough. I'm
thinking he has an oral fixation and that can never be bad.
Addie!! Loving me some Addie! Pamela Peyton Wright is just an
amazing actress and I always look forward to the Addie moments.
Watching the interplay between Michael and Rex, each thinking they are
talking about the same thing but when neither of them actually knows what
they are talking about is priceless. Since they both think the other one
did it, they are both out of the suspect's list. I am eager for the
"What? You didn't do it?" scene.
Bo and Rex are just as good and I LOVED how Bo instantly just knew that
Rex had not killed Spencer. Not that he was INNOCENT by any means, just
not the one who happened to kill Spencer. Giving Rex the benefit of the
doubt right off the bat scores Bo BIG points in my book.
Poor Marcie!! She's all wound up to tell Michael about Spencer's murder
and he just popped her little bubble by saying, 'I know.' Now she needs to
find some other good dirt to get out her pent up gossip energy.
Are we thinking that maybe that phone call Asa made had something to do
with Spencer's death? I am!!
Can't wait for the reading of Spencer's video will! I love those "And Then
There Were None" stories where everyone is summoned someplace by a lawyer!
If only "it was a dark and stormy night" at the Palace Hotel when the
How long is it before little Cole is 18?
Kirsten Alderson just keeps on hitting it out of the ballpark. I vote her
as the best actor on the show.
Susan Haskell had her baby and is likely recovering and shrinking down to
her usual superskinny size as we speak, likely increasing the chance that
NotMarty will be on her way to bigger and better opportunities and I can
go back to despising RealMarty again! Hoo hooo!! I think it
would be a great relief to everyone concerned so we can start forgetting
this even happened. Maybe if we all hold hands and chant, we can
make this happen!
When the terrorists started painting the windows of the Metro Court, the
look on Carly's face was, "That is going to cost so much effin' money to
Line of the week:
Lucky telling Luke about his life, "Turns out Maxie wasn't pregnant,
but I don't want to go there."
Luke: "You shouldn't have gone there in the first place."
Big HAHAHA... It's hilarious that Mr Craig bothers to wear a mask. He made
a point to talk to everyone in town at length before the heist and he's
the only one in the state with that prawper British accent. It's not like
the mask is fooling anyone.
Thank God for Alcazar's new Augustus Caesar haircut. I want him on my
dollar coin immediately please. That would make me save my money.
Never thought I'd say this, but Maxie was cute as hell today saying, "Just
let them rob us and get out of here." Is the sky falling? Is hell frozen
over? Maxie CONTINUED to be all kinds of cute in the vault with the little
masky guy with the number name. How long before she's getting her summa
dat, I wonder? They've got 12 hours for foreplay and fun in the vault.
Bobbie and Scottie!! Romance please! Bring it on! They were
WONDERFUL together today!
How can Skye still look so danged gorgeous when the make up department
refuses to put any on her at all? Would some eyebrows and a little
lipstick kill them? Vamp that broad up already!
I'm all for the inevitable Dillon and Lulu pairing. They are GREAT
together and Georgie and Dillon are just so very done. I'm more than
ready for that ship to sail. I hear Texas is very, very good to the
Scorpio-Jones women. It's like they never want to leave.
Epiphany continues to make me smile every single, solitary time she's on
I adore Luke and Tracy. Yesterday was priceless. She was obviously so
furious with him but so thrilled to see him at the same time. The
love on his face was so genuine and unLuke-like. As he left, after telling
her the marriage would only end if she ended it, watching her choke back
tears of relief was a viewing privilege. I'd wager to say that they love
one another in a more genuine and pure way than any couple in soaps. THIS
is a super couple.
I think it's awesome that no one knows where Helena went after Nikolas and
Emily got Spencer back. One of Helena's greatest assets as a villainess,
other than her acerbic wit and sociopathic disdain is the fact that she's
just "out there," waiting to strike at any time.
Scotty eased back onto the canvas so gently, so smoothly, that it's like
he was never gone. Rumors of a return for Lynn Herring (Lucy) make the
story even sweeter. I don't even love him and still, I wub him.
I am one of the few who just adores Spinelli. I look forward to his scenes
and love to see him hassle "Stone Cold." Steve Burton obviously has
a blast with their scenes, as does Maurice Benard. It's such a joy to see
actors having fun with their work.
Nikolas is holding an ice pack or something to his jaw. That likely means
someone decked him when I wasn't watching. This pleases me.
Lotsa Mac. This pleases me. Rumors of his death do not please me.
Of all of the people, contract players and extras, who are in the Metro
Court, Mr Craig singles out Robin to shoot. This makes him a
terrorist who is dedicated to winning my heart. If he shoots Emily next, I
am by god going to marry him (provided AMC has not already given me a
ring, see above).
Seeing Noah yesterday warmed my heart and various other centralized
locations of me.
I LOVED the names the characters chose for themselves on Mr Craig's "Get
to know you" game. (Sweet Sam my ass) Did that guy actually say
"Marty McFarty" to keep from getting shot??
How can I NOT love this show?