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January 25, 2006

Things That Just Have to Be Said

...or maybe they don't, but since I've got a little time on my hands and a humming keyboard beneath them, why not?

This particular rant was written on January 23rd:

There they go again.  Sometimes, it feels like they're never going to get it.  Bobbie just this second referred to Tracy as a "witch" on GH.  I heard the word passed around on all of the shows in the past couple of weeks, once twice in a day and it still just pisses me off.  It amazes me that when there are more than 400,000 people in our country (as per the American Religious Identification Survey) who happen to be practicing Witches, this crap continues.  I am not saying they are all good people because there are good and bad people in any religion.  The Witches I have met in my life, and there have been many, have been some of the most spiritually based, good-natured and all around decent folk I've known, no less so than those I have met from any other spiritual path. 

I am ashamed of ABC for continuing this practice.  You would not hear a person on a soap say that someone "jewed" them out of what is rightfully theirs (offends the Jewish people).  You don't even hear them say they were "gypped" (offends the Gypsies).  Yet a woman who is despicable is casually referred to as a "witch" and no one blinks an eye.  C'mon, ABC, get your head out of your ass and just say "bitch" and be done with it.

Once, when I posted that sentiment in a previous column several years ago, a reader said, "Come on, Katrina, if they do that, they will offend female dogs."  That made my stomach turn.  In fact, any time a group of people (and I'm talking about human beings here) have their integrity and dignity publicly insulted, then have that action endorsed by others, it makes me sad and sick.  As a society, we are better than that and ABC needs to knock it the hell off.  It's beyond offensive.  It's inexcusable behavior from people and from these shows.  I've given them five years of free and aggressive advertising, not to mention decades of viewership.  They can damned well whip out a thesaurus and come up with a different word to use. 

Rant off (for now, but I still have my cauldron brewing, so watchyer mouth!).

Now let's have some fun.

Perfection... Using lessons from the Tony Geary School of Scene
Thievery, with any luck, Robert Lasardo will take the brief, bit part
of Manny Ruiz and turn it into a solid contract character

We've seen them come and we've seen them go.  Does anyone remember Roscoe's first name?  He was a hottie, that's for sure and a long time enemy of Sonny's who was prominently featured for a while.  First name anyone?  Can you remember what he looked like in more than very vague terms?  Let me help you out:

Sooo hot, but hmm...
what was your name

What do you remember about The Tin Man?  What did Sammy Taglioti look like?  What about Joseph Sorel?  Senoir Rivera?  What about the guy Jason shot when he rolled over the car?  While you may remember what Joe Scully and Frank Smith did, do you remember what they looked like?  How are we doing here?

How well do you remember Cesar Faison?  What about Faith Roscoe?  Helena Cassadine?  Stavros Cassadine?  Of those, I remember every nuance, every evil glance, every motion.

Is my point made?  There are villains who are strong, perfectly adequate villains, but how often does a really great villain come along?  We remember far more about Roscoe's vengeful wife than we remember about him and it's not just about seeing more of her on screen.  It's about presence and a vibrant essence of life that some actors are truly able to breathe into their character.

Manny is a really, really great villain and I was SO grateful that when he was shot, he didn't die.  Far from it, he created a better false persona to convince the world that he's a changed man.  Robert Lasardo is an amazing actor, as I have also seen evidenced in his appearances on other TV shows.  He very effectively convey's Manny's hangdog, fully repentive and reborn facade, to the point that it's hard for the audience to believe he isn't a new man.  Then in the bat of an eyelash, he has a taunting Sam up against the wall, showing her who he really is.

"Who's the bitch now, bitch?"

Although I don't believe for a second that the powers that be will EVER let Sonny be "less than" or subjugated by anyone, I hold out hope against hope that the team of Lorenzo and Manny could actually take over "the territory" and become the ruling mob force in Port Charles.  I would love to see the bad guys be the bad guys. 

The Floating Head of Death makes Manny an offer he can't refuse.

"I dare say you love him not so ill, to wish
him here alone, howsoever you speak this
to feel other men's minds: methinks I could
not die any where so contented as in the
king's company; his cause being just and
his quarrel honorable."

I am SO thrilled that Lorenzo is finally being given something to do besides sniff around under Carly's skirts, waiting for her to turn a sweet eye in his direction when she bores of pushing herself into Sonny's life.  He needs more than table scraps.  He needs a life and a story of his own and it is my hope that this is the beginning of just that.  If this ends up being an abortive gesture that results in Jason and Sonny taking them down right away, I am going to be extremely disappointed.  Let someone else sing solo for the choir for a while. 

And will everyone please get out of the way and let these two
court already?

All Fear (& Hail) the Dr Patrick Smooooooth

I really love having the Drake men on the scene, but would love for the Noah story to get underway.  Almost as soon as he arrived, he was shipped off to rehab, but I want to know why.  What made him start drinking?  Who is Patrick's mother?  Tell us the whole story, the real story, and not just some whitewash that's being brushed back and forth to cover the scratches. 

Adoing!  Luke looks like he's seen a ghost...
Has he???

Ta-da!  It's Wobert!!  Just like Roy DiLucca before him, Luke's friends
come back to life right when he needs them!

He turns 60 on June 3rd.  I swear to God, when
I saw this photo, my fallopian tubes spontaneously
rejoined, I instantly ovulated and I burned to
make babies with him.  Rrrooowwwllll.

If I could have an older brother, I would want it to be Luke Spencer.  Why?  Because he has absolutely the hottest friends ever.  The return of Rick Springfield and Tristan Rogers, one right after almost makes me believe the GH upper echelon is taking a second to humor the viewers who are (*gasp*) not in the coveted 18-24-year-old demographic!  Is it possible they are catering to the long term viewers?  One would think they'd been rifling through my own naughtiest GH thoughts to find their inspiration. 

See the shadow between the Scorpio Brothers?  Isn't it in the shape
of a short, wide, enthusiastic, middle-aged web master from Cali?
I'd love to be the peanut butter in that sammich!


Why does this guy set off my gaydar a whole lot less than this guy:


Maybe I missed some vital bit of Lucas' "coming out rant" at the police station, but when he was lamenting not having the testosterone-laden, manly man genetics that Lucky carries by the bucketful, all I could think of was, "Did no one tell Lucas he's adopted?"  Of COURSE he doesn't have Spencer genes.  He has Jerome genes and they were all a bunch of girlly men!  Maybe Robert can wise him up a bit when he gets to town since Robert was originally the guy pegged as Lucas' father before Cheryl Stansbury fessed up.

If no one told him and he doesn't know he's adopted, then it really, really is gross that he was tonguing on Maxie a long while back.  Now there's something to bring up to Lainey in those counseling sessions!

Maxie must have worn that nightgown
shirt for 5 months straight.  Where is
Officer Dayna when I need her?

They'd better cure this virus before it kills off the best actress on GH!
Have they checked for Lassa Fever?

Interesting that two very different actors and two very
different characters came up with the exact same
expression.  The only difference is Jax is saying,"WTF?"
and Alan is saying, "Where's the bathroom again?"

"No, seriously, just go talk to Jill and Bob and tell them you want your
own story instead of having to micromanage every other character's
life on the show."

"No!  I can't do that!  They're firing Carlys right and left these days!"

"So tell them you're gay.  It worked for that Lucas kid.  He's been in
diabetic camp for 20 years and now has a front burner story."

"But I'm not gay."

"I suggest you get that way if you want your own story."

"But you're not gay!  You always have a story."

"That's because I'm 'The Jason.'  Say 'The Carly' for me."

"The Carly."

"See?  It doesn't have the same panache.   You gotta be gay."


Photos used in this column are from http://www.abcwebpix.com


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