“It’s a crapshoot.”

                                                            Angie Hubbard

 

Angie feels that way about using the experimental drug; I feel that way about watching AMC. Make no mistake; I am enjoying AMC more than I have in years. Episodes do not linger unwatched in my DVR. I do not sit down to watch AMC with a sense of dread. Yet, when I do sit down to watch, I wonder how many scenes will make me smile and how many will make me pound my head on the desk in frustration.

Yep, watching AMC these days is definitely a crapshoot.

On the one hand, we have Angie, Frankie, and Jesse. On the other hand, we have almost everything else.

 I am an Angie fan. I am a Jesse fan. While I enjoyed Angie and Jesse together, their coupling did not make or break either character for me. In fact, my favorite Jesse story was his friendship with Jenny. The way Jesse looked out for Jenny at Foxy’s. The way Jenny knew Liza had lied about the rape. Jenny and Jesse sitting on their NYC fire escape discussing life. These are some of my fondest memories both of Jesse and of AMC.

(Brief sidebar. Jenny and Jesse were best friends in high school, not Jesse and Tad. At that time, Tad could barely tolerate Jesse. Tad did not like that Jesse and Jenny were close. Tad said it was because Jesse was trouble.  My theory was that Tad did not like Jenny seeking advice or support from anyone other than her big brother. Perfectly understandable given their ages.)

Angie and Jesse were two of the most well written and well-acted characters in AMC’s history. It is good to have them back. It is surprising how well their return has been handled.

The Hubbards’ history, for the most part, has not been re-written. Their current story is grounded is real emotions. There was time when most AMC stories were done this way. Sigh.

The son near death. The mother struggling to help him. The presumed dead father lurking around. These are all hoary soap devices. These devices used well make a story compelling. These devices used poorly make a story laughable. Fortunately, this story is the former rather than the latter.

The rest of AMC is not quite as compelling and regrettably, some of it is laughable.

Please correct me if I am wrong, but didn’t the ABC promos announce the return of the REAL Greenlee? I keep looking for her  but she hasn’t  arrived yet. I like Rebecca Budig and welcome her return. I just wish she were playing Greenlee. ABC brought back the original actor who played Greenlee but the writers have yet to bring back the original character. All the Greenlee propping is absurd. Greenlee as the eternal victim, wronged by all the people she loves, is making me a bit ill. Greenlee is no longer the complicated, conniving, vicious, yet sometimes heartbreaking, character I loved to hate. Greenlee may have longed for a normal life in Vermont with Leo, but she never would have simpered over a stuffed animal named Alphonso.

Did anyone else find the “Mona’s hairclip” scene a bit, oh, I don’t know, contrived? What possible emotional resonance could the clip have for Greenlee? Mona must be thrilled that Kendall gave it to Greenlee, the woman who called her other granddaughter Lesbianca. Besides, didn’t Mona always have a fairly short bouffant hairstyle? Perhaps the writers have confused Mona with Myra who often wore a clip to hold her beautiful long silver locks in place. Erica and Greenlee wrestling over the hairclip is the only thing that could make this palatable.

AMC got one Greenlee thing right this week, no man has ever loved her the way Leo did. Certainly not Ryan. Yes, I know she said, “until you, no man has ever loved me the way Leo did” to Aidan, but hey, she did have a fever.

Ryan has something worse than a fever, he has delayed amnesia! The moment Ryan started speaking in only declarative sentences I knew something was amiss. Over the past few weeks, I have enjoyed a somewhat likeable Ryan. Now I fear that Ryan is gone forever. I may not like declarative sentence Ryan but it will be sad when he when discovers Erin is dead. Will he be as sad when he finds out that brother Jonathan murdered brother Braden? What will his reaction be when he discovers Jonathan also murdered Edmund?  What will his reaction be when he finds out Jonathan killed the bodyguard? Imagine Ryan’s disgust surprise when he finds out that Jonathan married Lily, a sweet young autistic girl who witnessed Edmund’s murder and was later held captive by Jonathan. Imagine his shock when he discovers he has not one, but two children.

I wish Ryan’s memory loss extended back to when his family’s last name was “Curry” not “Lavery.”   That bit of history retooling still bugs.

Apparently, the writers have a little amnesia of their own going on. They have forgotten that Jonathan lives in Pine Valley. Where was he when Ryan was shot? Why isn’t Annie discussing Ry’s odd behavior with Jonathan? Why hasn’t Jonathan volunteered to keep an eye on Richie while Ryan recovers? Maybe Jonathan has gone off to join Brooke and Peggy Moody in character limbo.

This amnesia story has given me a reason to like Annie again. Annie is great when  dealing with real issues instead of worshipping Ryan. Annie is an adult who, for the most part, faces life head on. Annie did not start whining when Ryan did not recognize her or Emma. The first thing she did was send Emma out of the room.  She gets points for putting her child’s immediate needs ahead of her own. Instead of screaming at Ryan she brought out the family album with hopes of jogging his memory. Instead of getting hysterical, she took Ryan to the hospital. When Ryan rejected her hug the look of pain in her eyes was real. Annie is intuitive enough to know that while a situation may be affecting her, it is not always about her. This was evident during the crash aftermat h. Annie went from person to person offering a kind word or a simple touch.  I am concerned about Annie’s future because women who behave like adults are far and few between on ABCD these days.

 

What else. What else.

Why was Aidan’s tie tucked into his shirt? Was he afraid of dribbling bad hospital food on it?

“I don’t need you to stand here and give me some speech about medical ethics.” Little does Angie know that Joe has no right to give anyone a speech about medical ethics.

“You know better than to tangle with me JR.” Sadly, Adam, JR doesn’t know better, not just about this but about so many things. Let’s face it, Adam, your son is an idiot. (It pains me to write that but sometimes the truth hurts.)

 

Further proof of JR’s idiocy is that he believed Adam’s story about the ring. To JR it made perfect sense that a coal miner would have the money and the inclination to have a gold ring made with the family crest. Or that Pigeon Hollow would have a jewelry store that made custom designed pieces.

Obviously, sex with Jeff Martin caused Erica’s IQ to drop about 20 points. Even with all the turmoil in her life, a woman with as much business savvy as Erica would not misplace a financial document.

“That’s what he is doing for Frankie.” For a brief moment, I remembered that I used to like Tad.

Dr. Nicholais is one damned fine addition to PVH.

A Leo clip! I miss my favorite Eurotrash hero.

“Fusion needs a new chemist.” Amanda should check out what Boyd is up to these days. After all, Kendall and Greenlee will be too busy with their book tour to interview candidates.

I’m glad Kendall invited Greens to join her on the book tour. I was concerned Kendall would be lonely going all by herself. It’s too bad Kendall doesn’t have a husband or some children or even a brother to keep her company.

Speaking of Josh, I think he and Rachel should sue for custody of Ian and Spike. They spend more time with the boys than their parents. Not only that,Josh and Rachel undoubtedly remember that Ian exists.

Jack trying not to cry in front of Greenlee was touching. Jack’s scenes with his “children” are always good. Makes me wonder why Jack’s family is decreasing instead of increasing in number.

It is unrealistic that Mary is not rushing to her daughter’s side. Mary would be there not out of any motherly concern but to be certain she is Greenlee’s beneficiary.

“February 5^th, but you can order it online.” The product placement on Top Chef is more subtle than this.

Characters lurking about is not my favorite thing. However, Darnell William’s performance makes it clear that lurking is extremely painful for Jesse. On the other hand Dixie’s lurking was ridiculous. It is difficult to take a lurker seriously when the main thing on the character’s mind is “Which designer lurking outfit should I wear today?”

Annie looked beautiful with minimal makeup and unfussy hair. How could Ryan not want to believe he was lucky enough to be married to her?

“I want to live! I want to live!” Lines like this are one of the reasons I love soaps.

“You’re my real father in every sense of the word.” Adam deserves a much better adult child than JR. Skye has left Port Charles permanently. I am hoping she is on her way to the Valley. I want Skye teaming up with Adam to show the Careys what “whoop ass” really means. (And for the record, Skye will always be a Chandler to me. Not a Quatermaine. A Chandler.)

“Did you know I wrote a book while you were missing? It’s coming out next month but you can order it online now. While you were gone, I also cured 7 types of cancer, climbed the Himalayas, and won American Idol. Then in my spare time I learned how to perform cochlear implant surgery and supervised this hospital wing’s renovation. “OK, that was not what Kendall said but it is what I heard in my head.

Will this week’s spoilers have us wishing we could drift off with Brooke and Peggy or not? Let’s see.

 

Ryan tries to play catch-up on the last four years of his life.

 

Ryan proclaims his love to Kendall. She is startled to learn Ryan still thinks they are engaged.

“Of course we are not still engaged, Ryan. My taste in men has improved immensely over the past few years and now I am married to Zach. Really married to Zach. You remember Zach, don’t you? He helped you fake your own death. Oh, you don’t remember that either ?”

Annie tells Zach about Ryan’s amnesia and that Ryan thinks he is still engaged to Kendall. To lighten the mood, Zach replies, “Ryan, who’s Ryan? I don’t remember any Ryan.”

Of course, Zach, being much more sensitive than I am, doesn’t really say that.

Zach dozes off while Greenlee recounts the entire Kendall/Ryan/Greenlee history to him.

In reality, Zach hangs on every word. We viewers also hang on every word, if only to learn how much of that history has been re-written.

Ryan asks Kendall to explain why their relationship ended. Kendall replies that it ended when he and Greenlee started treating her like gum on the bottom of their shoes.

If only Kendall would be that honest.  I suspect she will take all the blame for that failure.

Ryan is more than surprised to learn about Spike. He has a hard time believing that he and Kendall made a baby together.

“Well, Ryan, saying we a made a baby together is a bit of stretch. Remember that sperm bank donation you made when you were still a charming con? Well, Greenlee helped steal that sperm specimen. Then the evil but sexy Dr. David Hayward used that sperm to impregnate Greenlee. You were so angry about Greenlee’s pregnancy that you shoved her and the faked your own death. Yes, I know you don’t remember that but it doesn’t mean it didn’t happen. This is Pine Valley after all. Then Greenlee had a miscarriage. Then the writers realized I had a womb, too. Blah. Blah. Blackout. Blah. And thus Spike was born. Why did Greenlee have steal your sperm? Because she found out about your vasectomy. Then how did you manage to have a child with Annie? Well, remember that sperm bank donation you made when you were a charm ing con...)

Ryan tells Annie he feels nothing for her. Ryan’s declaration devastates her.

Calling Josh and Dr. Nicholas! There’s a woman over here whose broken heart needs mending.

Zach promises to help Annie during this crisis.

Hopefully, this means Zach will not have time for Greenlee.

Over at the one renovated PVH floor.

Greenlee comes out of her coma shouting, “I lived! I lived!”

I would love for that to happen. No, really.

Tad is determined to find out if he really did see Jesse.

Well, Tad has to have something to do now that he has given up searching for Kate.

Tad is shocked to find Jesse is alive.

Happy I understand, but shocked? After all these years in the Valley, why should Tad be surprised when anyone returns from the dead; especially considering that Tad is a death returnee himself.

Jesse asks Tad not to tell Angie and Frankie about his undead state. Letting them know he is alive would put both their lives in jeopardy.

That makes much more sense than Dixie’s “I have to lurk because I don’t want people to be mad at me.”

Tad asks Aidan to investigate why Jesse has to stay dead.

Spotted Dick does best in this kind of story. Mystery, intrigue, absence of high drama.

Jesse visits his own grave to pray for his son’s life.

I love that in Pine Valley this spoiler makes perfect sense.

Jesse is knocked unconscious while trying to help a battered wife. He is rushed to PVH. Just so happens, Angie is on duty.

And it just so happens this is the first of many times Angie will come thisclose to seeing Jesse.

 

Other stuff happens, too.

Kendall goes to the launch party for “Charmed.” The party is held at Fusion.

A major publisher holding the launch party for a major publication at a cosmetics company in a small Pennsylvania town isn’t more ridiculous than any other part of this story.

Kendall flies to her first book signing.

Of course she does. See above: ridiculous.

Kendall and Aidan find themselves on the same flight. Once again they discuss the need to keep their transgression a secret.

You know what I would love? I would love Donald Steele sitting behind them and jotting down every word.

The government freezes one of Erica’s accounts.

Oh dear, I hope it’s not her Jimmy Choo/Botox/Dolce & Gabbana account.