Santa appreciated my help in forwarding last years lost letters to him, but this year he was stumped for ideas for his favorite Port Charles citizens.  I gladly offered my assistance. 

My suggestions: 

Lucky Spencer – the dear boy needs a good HMO with a really, really low deductible – like about a quarter. 

Emily Quartermaine – the Greg Behrendt & Liz Tuccillo book, “He’s Just Not That Into You” – self explanatory. 

Diego Alcazar – soap on a rope, think about it. 

Courtney Matthews Quartermaine Morgan Jacks – a six month cooling off period before she marries yet another member of the GH hottie patrol.  Oh, and some condoms. 

Dr. Lainey Winters - a clue.   

Lorenzo Alcazar – a Norelco SmartTouch XL shaver. That “it looks bigger when it’s shaved” thing doesn’t really apply to your face, so get after it.    

    +  =  

Ric Lansing – first off, he needs Santa to requisition a “K” for his first name – besides that I think he should find lots and lots of jeans under his tree.  Yep, lots and lots of jeaners.  Rrrowl.


Carly Corinthos-Alcazar - her old hair back, oh yeah – and Emily can lend her the book when she’s done with it. 

When good hair goes bad. 

Dr. Patrick Drake – a gift certificate to Condomania.  And a sense of humor. 

Tracy Quartermaine – a night in the sack with Coleman. 


Skye Quartermaine – See above. 

Liz Spencer – a day off to go to school again so she can become a scrub nurse overnight like Bobbie did.   

Brook Lynn Ashton – to relocate to Genoa City.  As my homey Dianna put it, “She got drugged, stripped, photographed and plastered on the ‘net and STILL couldn’t get a story!” 

Georgie, Maxie, Dillon and the rest of the Scrappy Doo gang get autographed copies of  “Chicken Soup for the Teenage Soul”.  Maxie gets hers as a book on tape since I’m not sure whether or not she can read.                    


The Jason gets leather jammies for all those pesky hospital stays – hell, better throw in an extra pair for Lucky too. 

Now for my wish list! 

A story for Bobbie – I don’t care if they have to bring back Dr. Noah Drake, have her son Lucas come out of the closet AND have her daughter have a nervous breakdown and get locked away from her kids --- just give her a story!! 

I want a Nurses Ball in 2006 

I want Elton to come back to town to help Carly run Metro Court

I want Lucy to come back and she and OldFelecia start up the Outback again 

I want Jason without his shirt on – just once

I want less Courtney and Emily and more Dillon and Luke

I want Alan to have the same operation Manny just had, only they take out the part of his brain that makes him a cranky asshat. 

I want Alexis to get on some hormones so she can deal    


I want Lucky and Liz to win the Lotto  

Two Daytime Emmys – one for Steve Burton and one for Rick Hearst 

One ticket to the Daytime Emmys so I can celebrate with the boys! 

A rich fantasy life… oh wait, nevermind!

I crack myself up.