Spoilers I use for commentary are
based on those used
with permission from Soap Zone and Carol Banks Weber:
My DARLINGS, it is so precious to have a bit
of quiet after the madness of the first part of my November. Now, at
last, my life is settling back down into blissful, tranquil, uninterrupted
Sageness. I love the descent into the dark of the year when activity
slows down, the world gets a little quieter and a little more
contemplative. It makes me think of nights in front of the fire with
some warm Stephen's Vanilla Sipping Cocoa (Bailey's or Captain Morgans
loaded into it) and only the sound of snowflakes hitting the windowpanes
breaking the silence.
Of course, I live in California and we're
running about 70 degrees in the daytime and 40 degrees at night. The
tsunami evidently caused the poles to shift slightly, so we're getting
this prolonged Autumn (which honestly, is OK with me too) and probably a
shift in the other seasons as well. I know that Summer was not
nearly as hot for us as it usually is. So the times they are a
chaaaannnnging and that's not always a bad thing. In fact, it seldom
UNLESS, of course, you're talking about change
of a VERY negative kind that brings me to...
Nov 20, 2005
PLEASE GOD MAKE IT STOP!!
One minute, I've got JRighteousindignation
Chandler chewing on Di's ass a little bit more when we all know he should
be thanking his lucky stars that she's only a half-aunt and not his mother
because now all those unseemly little Oedipal nudges can actually be
legally endorsed in several states (but probably not any New England ones,
so he might be assed out still, but hell Aunt Mama, we can MOOOVE!).
Back me on this, Kate. Next, I've got Hoooolia Than Thou Santos
giving new meaning to the term "badass," throwing her angry little face
and bad little attitude all around Pine Valley, reminding anyone who has
the misfortune to come into contact with her (God help the hapless souls
who are trapped in line at the bank or DMV with her) about her horrible
lot in life. Speaking of which, is she still someone else or does
she have to get all new ID now that she's back to being Julia? Does
she even exist any more? Where does she get her money? Does
she just raid Maria's closet, even though Maria's about 6 feet taller than
Julia? Or Sam's for the endless track suits? Have I missed the
scene (sometimes, it's just too painful to watch) where Isabelle showed up
and slapped a few people on Julia's behalf? Did I actually hear
Kenny Rogers break into "Coward of the County" when Sam "my voice is
breaking but I can pack a jammie" Grey take down his deddy's pistol to go
whip up on some Gatlin/Lavery boys? I thought he was actually going
to tilt over forward when he was trying to hold that gun out in front of
him to pop poor little Jonathan.
Thank the lord that Aunt Hooolia was there to
convince him that he wasn't mature enough to handle the weight of a man's
death on his conscience. Of course, of Jonathan had been murdered by
Sam Grey, not only would we be rid of Sam, no doubt sent away to some
cushy rich boy's prison for a few months of indepth therapy to treat his
post partum depression (fuss about that, Tom Cruise, I'm ready for you),
but we could also give Ryan a new cause to champion and a brand new stinky
albatross to wear around his neck in shame. Self-flagellation seems
to be a sacred rite for the Lavery family and Chris Stamp is lucky to be
dead and shed of the whole lot of these wankers.
Of course, NOW we have the ostracizing of
Kendall to witness as she is made (yet again) the pariah in town for using
her own eggs to make Greenlee a mother after Green's eggs (and I know *I*
would not eat Green's eggs and ham!) went balls up in the black out.
I guess no good deal does go unpunished and it is my extreme hope that we
won't endure a Greenlee recast and instead will get to stand on the porch
and wave her ass goodbye, Beverly Hillbilly style ("y'all don't come back
now, y'hear? ...Bitch") If Greenlee's departure does not spur on an
exit by Ryan (not a chance), we will no doubt get to add THAT notch to his
long gunbelt of shame and dismay that he publicly whacks himself with
every freakin episode. I like Cameron Mathison well enough, but
damn, I'm so done with Ryan I can't stand it.
Jackson struts around and postures like a
little banty rooster, barking and waving his cock-a-doodle-a-doo around
for all to see, whether he makes sense or not. Through some twist of
TV interpretation, I could see Olivia and the DA looking at him like he
was a blustering buffoon the whole time he was ranting on and on about
Jonathan (talk about my own projecting). It's a rough day in
Jacksonville when Erica is the one making sense. Of course, Jackson
will be totally vindicated when he does come out, as I think it will, that
Jonathan is absolutely playing everyone.
No more Dani to speak of! No more
Reggie! No more David Hayward! No more Palmer! All of my
very favorites are barely getting any screen time at all, including my
little ray of beautiful sunshine, Lily, who is now reduced to worshiping
at the Jonathan Lavery altar, even down to donning her special protective
sunglasses to open his friggin ketchup. At that point, I very nearly
choked on my own vomit. I can't seen a scene with Adam in it that
isn't supporting the obvious notion that he's secretly enraptured by his
redneck strumpet of a wife. Babe and Jamie and JR and Amanda are
enough to send me to bed with an eyepillow and a belly full of pain
It has to get better. It has to and that
is the only reason I am still around. If 100 monkeys on 100
typewriters over 100 years can eventually type out the declaration of
independence (or however that theory goes), one would imagine I could
eventually get a somewhat decent scene out of this show that makes my
reluctant dedication (let's face it, I'm just not a beater of dead horses
as a rule) to this lame duck show worth my sacrifice. Believe me,
there's stuff I could be doing between noon and one that would avail me
more, like washing my hair, picking my toes and organizing the spices
alphabetically in my cupboard.
AMC has really stabbed me in the back by not
giving a crap at all about whether or not they are spotlighting the
characters I hate most.
Psst: Friday's AMC is a repeat of the
episode where Kendall interrupted Ryan and Greenlee's wedding
OLTL Spoiler Commentary
Unlike the frank and profound disdain I have for
AMC in its current state, I am enthralled and captivated by OLTL! I
don't ever expect a show to focus totally on me (although that would be
just evah so nice!), but OLTL is covering enough of the bases in trumps
to keep me happy.
- John and Cris are still
unable to break from the bonds of a Carlo-mandated Statesville uprising.
While in the clink together, in such dire circumstance, the two enemies
arrive at a mutual understanding, less the rancorous for it. They
both engage in conversation about how much Natalie means to each of
them, and how much they will each do, their best, to earn her, when they
get out of this hellhole. Let the best man win, is basically their
Over time, I have come to not appreciate
Natalie very much, mostly as a result of her incessant bitching and
whining and complaining. That being said, I have to say that she is
the only part of this story that I have not enjoyed completely. I
have not cared much for Cris since Yorlen Madera left the show and this is
really the first time that I have completely enjoyed the David Fumero
version of Cris. Pitting Cris and John against one another for the
love of Natalie, plus bringing in the wild card of Carlo Hesser has been a
joy to watch. I have found the pacing of the prison riot to be
nearly perfect. If it continues on beyond this week, I will likely
be done, but so far, so good.
- Cris, however, believes with
all his heart that he belongs with Nat, not John.
Cris thought his heart might belong with John?
Pfft, I knew it.
- Back to the prison uprising
and its mastermind, Carlo “I don’t like negotiations!” Hesser… Cris and
John finagle proof of Carlo’s mastermind behind Cris’s brainwashing
murder of Tico, by taping the criminal monologuing credit.
Doh! Carlo should have watched enough
old movies to know the villain must NEVER monologue their entire
villainous plot plan!
- John and Cris make a break
for it, seeing a slim opportunity. He's hit! He's it! --
Cris goes down, but not for long. Carlo's goons identify John as a
police officer and move in for the chokehold. A roused Cris beats
off the goons, preserving John's life.
The innuendos are so rampant in that spoiler
paragraph I am afraid to get started.
- Reeling, Natalie ends up
sharing with Rex the incredible news of John Doe as Cristian and John
knowing the entire time.
Cause we know she's just got to tell someone!
- Nat also discloses to Rex
what’s deepest in her heart, both men, lodged in there but good. Damn
them!, she also cried, if they never met her, she’d probably be better
Or if she watches a rousing few viewings of
"Paint Your Wagon," she might get some ideas.
- Armed with such information,
Rex heads for Statesville, intent on going into the fray of the prison
uprising himself, until Haskell prevents that.
Oh come on! Rex can totally take out
Haskell (who, for reasons I cannot fathom, reminds me of Ted "Theodore"
- Bo expresses what he can of
paternal concern for Rex’s welfare about this foolish maneuver.
Oh just adopt him, already, Bo!
- He’s hit! He’s hit! He’s
down! In the middle of the prison fracas, a bullet pierces Bo in the
Of all the places to get shot, the neck is
probably the least favorable. Now he and Nora will both be breathing
out of tubes!
- Nat can’t seem to stay away
from the prison goings-on either.
She has to place her bets on which of her men
is going to emerge triumphant and then be pissed that she isn't all they
talk about after being in the middle of a riot.
- Evangeline is the person to
fill in Michael about his brother John’s prison predicament.
At least someone thought to tell family!
I wonder if anyone will get around to telling Carlotta and Antonio the
truth about Cris!
- Lookie Michael and Natalie
so cozy, concerned together about John. Hmmm.
See? That's who *I* think she should choose.
- It’s too much for strong
Tess to bear. It being her riotous feelings.
Riots are just aplenty this week!
- The jackals circle their
prey, meaning Spencer. Karma, dude.
Can we have a good ol' whodunnit killing?
- Next week: John plays
Carlo, picking at any weakness, searching for any opportunity… Carlo
maneuvers John and Cristian like his little chess pieces. In the end,
their precious Natalie will turn up missing, and in Carlo’s custody.
And, the two loves of Nat’s life will face their Waterloo at Carlo’s
hands… Spencer and Paige operate to save Bo from the bullet wound in his
neck. At first, it seems like a routine procedure, but now it’s very
touch and go for Bo, Spencer senses… The alters Niki and Tess surface
All sounds MAGNIFICENT!!
No OLTL on Friday.
GH Spoiler Commentary
- What if you held a funeral,
but nobody came? Nobody but two lovers. Ric and Sonny send Reese off in
a private ceremony. Then, after remarking about Reese to Ric, Sonny lets
his younger brother grieve, solo. They are far from a family repair.
Alone with the dead Reese, Ric thinks about his life, his past, his
choices and what is necessary to make up a helluva lot to his family
I am definitely surprised by the indignity
afforded to Reese when the actress was brought on in a flame of glory and
seemed to be on canvas to stay. Blessed with the affections of two
of the hottest brothers in daytime, she was in the catbird's seat until...
until... whatever happened that pushed her into the disgrace of a 20
second death scene (as Katrina put it, "She's not breathing." "She's
gone." "Cut") and now the nonfuneral. There seemed to be so
much more to flesh out between Carly and Reese about their past and having
Ric deal with his torn emotions between Reese and Alexis would have been
interesting. The conflict between Reese and Durant was good
drama and it really seemed like there were places they could have taken
the character. I say that, not even being a particular fan of
Reese's. Now, all she has become is yet another "Poor Frickin Emily"
- Jason’s is a case of the
treatment (almost) worse than the cure. Robin is completely aware of
this, but because she’d rather risk the worse of the treatment than the
eternal of the alternative – meeting his Maker – she keeps mum about
possible side effects and symptoms of her experimental drugs. Also,
Robin figures Jason would balk, if he is given full disclosure of those
terrible side effects and symptoms.
Isn't that, well, illegal? Informed
consent and all?
- The side effects and
symptoms will become increasingly obvious, as Jason’s mind endures all
sorts of calamities, vivid, terrible bad dreams, leading the GH staff to
confine him to his bed. One particularly gruesome nightmare has
Jason screaming for mercy.
I am betting it was the reindeer sweater.
- Robin concedes to Sam that
yes, she kept quiet about the full extent of what Jason would go through
under her experimental care, but with noble reasons.
Every time Robin ruins yet another life, it's
for the noblest of reasons.
- Jason’s main problem
throughout the experimental treatment has more to do with the
confinement to his bed than anything else. Following a harrowing bad
dream, he demands to be free from the shackles chaining him to the bed,
and Sam agrees, passing on his demands to those in charge. Sam
goes one better. Sam demands Robin cease the experimental drug
treatments altogether, for the sake of whatever’s left of Jason’s mind
and body. Against her better judgment, Robin acquiesces.
Man, Robin has just turned into quite a little
quack, hasn't she?
- Jason overrides Sam’s
wishes, though, and gives in to a last-ditch attempt to cure himself of
his brain problems. Robin acquiesces. Let the record show that Sam
doesn’t approve. Robin dispenses her experimental drug for a final
try, on Jason, with his permission and not Sam’s.
Sounds like Robin is acquiescing a lot.
Has she also become a pushover? Does she still cross her arms and
look prim when she acquiesces?
- The final try renders
Jason’s heart null and void, for about 15 seconds, the time it takes for
him to be revived.
- Out of concern and love for
Jason, Robin removes him from her experimental drug therapy for good,
after finally facing that maybe it’s too much for him.
Or facing that maybe her experimental drug
- And, Jason could still
perish, with or without that drug therapy.
As could we all.
- Sam and Jason, let’s try
paradise again, maybe we’ll get lucky and a stork will swoop by our
You know, I THOUGHT she looked pregnant when
she was talking about the anniversary of their baby's death.
- Warm, fuzzy moment between
Alexis and Sam, including Alexis desiring Sam tidings of good cheer,
maybe a baby on the way.
Are they buddies now?
- Sonny experiences a kind of
déjà vu, when he beholds Carly #4 (Laura Wright) making herself at home
at his home, with their kids. Carly and their kids seem straight
out of a Norman Rockwell painting. Except the part about Carly building
up little Michael’s hope for a family reunion. That’s when Sonny
intercepts, taking on the role of the grown-up.
It's pretty sad when someone as selfish as
Sonny is being the grown up.
- After the boys are put away,
Sonny takes Carly aside to determine her agenda, because, in his eyes,
she’s clearly not sanity-ready. Carly announces her intentions to
and for Sonny, to reclaim him for her own, again, the whole Let’s try
this for a fourth time ball of wax. Almost recoiling, Sonny
sorts through what’s real (his abiding love for her) and what’s her
hopeless fantasy (their re-marriage). Sonny makes it crystal to Carly
that she and he are really through romantically, while he swears he
won’t abandon her as the mother of their kids.
With her, his swears are exactly easy to bank
- Carly soundly rebukes Sonny,
disappointment, frustration and so much rage playing upon her irate
face—with her about-face. This is about the time little Michael returns,
walking in on their verbal, emotional skirmish.
"If you keep this up, Wayne Campbell, you're
going to lose me! Harrumph!"
- Michael quizzes his parents
on the meaning of this, Sonny raising his voice and making his mommy
sad, but they smooth things over with him.
And if you hold a chicken upside down and rub
its neck, it will go to sleep.
- Sonny and Carly resolve for
her to finish up her stay at Rose Lawn. Carly resolves to make the
best of her stay at Rose Lawn. That is, until her meddling father, John
Durant, tries to get a rise out of her with his tall tale about Sonny
with Emily now.
Which doesn't sound like it's all fiction.
- Lorenzo’s about to be on the
receiving end of Carly’s warpath, when she learns that he precipitated
the Ruiz nightmare, however inadvertently.
She's got a lot of rage from a lot of
directions to channel somewhere. I guess Lorenzo was the lucky
target (and Carly was crazy way before the Ruiz family came to town).
- Carly and Luke indulge in a
Now THERE'S good drama! This is where we
will see if Laura Wright has the "Wright" stuff.
- Lucky and Elizabeth
determine that Lulu’s best interests are served out from under their
Boy, was that dumb. I guess ol' Lesley
just hit the wall on taking care of other people's kids.
- Luke ventures to heal some
of the break between him and Lulu. Prognosis, doubtful. Skye
bridges their gap, as best she can.
This girl sure does do a lot of mediating
- Total recall, ala Jason
Morgan… everything but the kitchen sink, and the reindeer sweater. Thank
But does he remember his medical info so he,
too, can be a doctor now?
- Emily can think of little
else but what her presumed negligence did to cause Reese’s end. Maybe,
the pre-med student muses, sadly, she should think of another line of
work. Dillon keels over, and all Emily can do is stare, transfixed
with immobilizing dismay. This behavior cinches it for her.
Yep, time to start wiping tables at Kelly's,
- Courtney ends her trifling
with the two most sexy, handsome, eligible men in Port Charles. After
putting Nikolas off, then Jax, then back to Nik, she gains insight into
her personal dilemma, unable as the woman she is, to stick with her
husband, with the real love she feels instead for her lover. Confused?
Wait a second, WHO'S on first? (I
dunno's on third)
- It’s definitely not what Jax
wants to hear, but hear it he does, heart breaking, as Courtney goes
back on her word and pronounces she’s going back with Nikolas, the man
she really loves, baby or no baby. A changed man, Jax doesn’t
press his luck, much. He merely asserts his rights as the unborn baby’s
On the surface anyway.
- A free Helena, means a
dangerous Helena, especially for women and their Cassadine children.
Helena orders Courtney to keep her mitts off Nikolas, or suffer the
cursed consequences. Courtney, defiant. Helena, resolved.
Are there any Cassadine children?
- Helena proposes she and Jax
pair up together to ensure Courtney and Nikolas never come to be. Jax
declines, and runs off, searching for Courtney to alert her to this
I wonder if she will think he's making it up.
- Helena tries to see to it
that Courtney listens, even if it hurts. But before the Cassadine
matriarch can impart her brand of torture, Nikolas blocks her. If
at first she doesn’t succeed, try, try, try again, which is just what
Helena does, swooping in for another attack on Courtney, involving
water. Jax’s turn.
Does Courtney melt when Helena throws water on
- Nikolas takes a huge chance,
gambling on permanently putting a stop to Helena’s destructive impulses
Didn't he learn his lesson on the cliff?
Some dogs just cannot be trained.
- Lorenzo puts on the paternal
for an update on Diego and his struggles with school. Bad grades
are the least of Diego’s concerns. He senses the end (as a free man) is
near, because he senses others, like Brook Lynn, are onto him. So
then…Diego puts the moves on Brook Lynn. ?? What are naked shots
of her doing in Diego’s backpack?, wonders a nosey Brook Lynn, with a
cold shiver. Diego unburdens himself about the roofie stalker
case. Whoops! Brook Lynn now, officially, knows all about his true face.
Brook Lynn, with Lorenzo, goes about coaxing Diego to give himself up to
the cops as the roofie stalker and take his punishment like a man.
So... he really is the roofie stalker?
Looks like another GH Day Player bites the dust! The Alcazar gene
pool is just not looking so great.
- Luke sets his sights on an
ELQ bonanza, by hook or by crook.
Like about 20 years ago he did this. :)
- Carly pulls a oneupmanship
on the master Spencer. Almost like old times.
- Next week: Robin’s hard
work and faith pay off, when Jason stirs, rousing back to his old self –
Jason Morgan, not Quartermaine, sorry… Overjoyed, relieved, all that
good stuff, Sam begins planning her and Jason’s future together,
complete with a white-picket fence and little rugrats… It’s been awhile
since Luke threw his hand into the action-adventure ring. It’s time… Not
so fast, not without a little notice and props to Carly, as much a
Spencer as she ever was, and quite capable of standing up to Luke, even
teaching him a few sneaky maneuvers… If it’s the last thing she does,
Carly will regain her true sense of self, sans the insanity plea.
Would she BE a true Spencer without a little
Psst: GH on Friday will be a reairing of
Nikolas and Emily's wedding.
I hope all of you have a glorious Thanksgiving
and are surrounded by scads of friends and family. I will be basking
in the love and friendship of Maxine and Kurt, checking the turkey and
stuffing for signs of pieces of The Head.
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