January 17, 2007

New Years Eve Day I received a call from a friend who told me our mutual friends' daughter passed away. HUH? WHAT? I couldn't believe it. This young woman was forty-two years old. She wasn't ill. What happened? She didn't know. I called our friend and she couldn't get on the phone. I understood and left a message, you know the one that says, if I can help with anything please let me know. I called the next day. Again she wouldn't and couldn't get on the phone. I've pretty much called every day but I would imagine it must be difficult for her not to only live it but to talk about it. From my understanding there was no service but my husband and I sent a card and flowers. What else was there to do? I do not think she would appreciate me showing up at her doorstep from 300 miles away. I will keep calling and praying for her and her family. I will be there for her when she is ready to talk.

So now another friend who I consider my adopted daughter gave birth within two weeks of this death. It is exciting for me to become a new "grandma" again. Debbie lived here in Vegas for many years. In fact she was my very first friend here in Las Vegas when we moved her 22 years ago. We met through the GH fan club Pen Pal group. I had no idea she was 12 years old at the time and I started writing to her from NY before we moved here. Of course by the time we were ready to move I knew Debbie and adored her. She not only was my friend and adopted daughter but she was my son's babysitter. And now Debbie and her husband have a second son. I am going to Oregon next week to help her with the kids. I am looking forward to seeing the entire family.

In December we went to one of our closest friend's daughters wedding in Berkeley. What a wonderful time we had. We danced and sang along with the band. Totally a fun weekend. We have another wedding to attend in August in Northern Ca.  I have known this soon to be bride since she was 13. She turned 25 recently. When did this happen that my peers and I are no longer the bride but the mothers of the bride and groom?  Another friend of mine is becoming a grandma for the very first time in May. She is so excited that she has already bought some toys and clothing for the new baby. Our biological grandson turns the big 2 on February 24. The tides are turning as life goes so very fast.  Sounds like a great title for another soap opera.

Today Steve (my husband) had a car accident. The car is totaled. Typical man worried how we are going to pay for a new car. The accident is inconvenient. He called me at 6:45am as I was drooling on my pillow to ask me to bring his insurance papers. He had no idea prior that the insurance card wasn't in the glove box. I got there in record time of 30 minutes. He was half way to work when the accident occurred. I watched as one of the trucks (the one that hit our car) was being towed and wondered where our tow truck was. Steve said ohh I can drive it home. I said why would you drive it home if its totaled? I love him dearly but he wasn't thinking straight.  I guess thinking about how inconvenient this was didn't allow him to think rationally. Anyway he attempted to drive the car and it was  undrivable. Hence another tow truck was called. He couldn't come to terms with the accident all day. The inconvenience and the money. Granted like most everyone out there we live very conservative. True we did go on a vacation this year but it was for a special occasion. However purchasing a new car is not in the budget. Nor what we will get for a 2003 SaturnL200 will pay for a newer model car. So we are SOL but you know what? We will find a way.

SO Steve had a rough day. He is getting a cold on top of this and all he can think about is the car. I've always told you he is the best husband and father and all around good guy. However,  I finally had enough and looked at him and said, Steve you aren't totaled. It's just a fricken car. My friend just lost her daughter. She would trade your situation in a New York Minute. Amazingly, that was the per verbal slap on the face he needed to realize that a car is material possession. It's replaceable.

I am still reeling for my friend who had a major loss. We aren't supposed to lose our children. They are supposed to outlive us. I know life goes on. It has to. As I look forward to kissing our grandson Happy Birthday next month , I will also look forward to the wedding in August. I have found memories of the fun we had in December and wait for the new baby to be born in May, I am going to visit with Jacob in Oregon next week and reflect upon the meaning of The Circle of Life. 
 

Maxine

www.maxinebennett.com