November 18, 2005  

The DA waxed eloquent over how he is such a hard case, and yet Jonathan’s plight had him breaking down.  !!!!!!!  That was the most obvious pimpfest the writers have ever tried to shove down my throat.  Not even Lily bestowing her beatific smile upon Jonathan can compete with that puke line from the day player.  That’s it, writers.  You have officially made me hate Jonathan.  I was on the fence, but its over.  Unless he does something so completely redemptive, like somehow spur Zach and Kendall into having sex, he is on the black list.  Only because I. will. not. be. manipulated.   

Wow, Ryan is so desperate to keep Jonathan out of jail, he’ll even bring up Michael Cambias to throw in Jack and Erica’s faces.  Actually, Michael Cambias does fit in the scenario, but not how Ryan has envisioned.  It was only a year ago that Zach was also desperate to clear his brother’s name, and was forced to bow before the indisputable truth.  The major difference is that Zach’s brother was dead, and it was all moot anyway.  Ryan’s brother is very much alive and possibly capable of more misdeeds.  

Erin and Ryan were repugnant as they celebrated their brother’s victory, while his victims’ friends and family stood by and watched a murderer go free.  Erin couldn’t have been more smug towards Aidan as she declared that they were staying in town so that Ryan could stalk…I mean stand by his wife. 

“Babe to English, English to Babe dictionary.”  Okay, the drunk driving storyline just got a boost in my estimation for the sole reason that it resulted in the wonderful JR/Babe scenes this week.  Woo!  Kudos to Jacob for playing a man who is falling back into love with his ex-wife, and wants her to feel the same, yet is unable to trust a word out of her mouth.  Also kudos to Alexa for always making us wonder just what is going on in that head of hers.  Is Babe falling for him for real or should she get an Academy Award?  I also liked the scenes with JR and Jamie, as JR begged Jamie to clue him into Babe, and then later when he asked Tad to monitor Babe for signs of deception.  Tad agreed to help out JR, while Jamie demonstrated once again that Babe is more important to him than JR -  or else he would have warned JR about the freight train about to decimate him.  Fine with me, it just prolongs the JR/Babe agony and the possible hate sex coming up.  Woo!  I did think it was funny how JR suggested to Babe that she whisper what she wanted to say in his ear.  Yeah, I loved that the first time when it was Zach saying it to Kendall.  I don’t mind them recycling it, since it was for another couple I love.  

The scenes with Babe and Krystal trying to make the best of a social visit from Janet were hilarious.  But what made them even more hilarious was JR walking in and cutting right through all the polite BS – wondering why they were serving coffee to a lunatic.  I loved how he went to Amanda’s room to threaten her away from Babe, and how he put Janet in her place.  Are you watching, Babe?  He’s falling for you, again, and you better damn well be deserving of it. 

I wonder if the casting director knew that Kate Collins would be coming back as Janet, when he cast the new Amanda, because I was struck this week by how much they truly looked like mother and daughter – especially the hair and eyes.  Seeing Janet in action, no wonder Amanda is a freakazoid.  I was feeling suffocated just watching those scenes.   

We got a Myrtle scene!  Too bad she was completely wasting her breath by bestowing her glorious wisdom on someone so completely undeserving - Amanda.  Pearls before swine, Myrtle, pearls before swine.  What Myrtle needs to do is go down the hall for a cup of tea, and run into a heartbroken Zach.  Seriously, though, I might have enjoyed the scene if Amanda showed any sign of actually taking her advice and turning over a new leaf.  Phhttt!  This chick doesn’t even give a second thought to her behavior.  Although the smirks she gave Babe every time she cried for help were kinda funny. 

Greenlee got found out!  Anita (bless her!) told Kendall the truth about Zach coming to visit.  And she made sure that Greenlee couldn’t pretend that she didn’t know.  Haha!  It led to the most frustrating scenes between Zach and Kendall to date.  I’ve seen it/read it all before.  It is a common romantic scenario.  The two protagonists have realized their love for the other, yet keep it a secret out of the belief that the other can’t possibly love a hideous beast such as themselves.  So then comes the game/test/puzzle where each tries to get the other to reveal their true feelings, and through misinterpretations, end up making things worse.  It is a dance performed many times before.  If done badly, the viewer/reader is left more annoyed than anything.  If done well, the viewer/reader is left depressed, and yet sooo satisfied.  Bravo to TK and Alicia for making me literally sit thisclose to the tv screen to watch the heart shredding unfold.   

The Zen scenes were made even more heartwrenching by having them sandwiched between two Kendall/Greenlee scenes.  In the first, Kendall was feeling hopeful that maybe Zach did love her after all, while Greenlee was feeling bruised and bleak.  After their respective meetings with their men, Kendall was the one feeling bruised and bleak, while Greenlee was hopeful about her future with Ryan.  Ugh! 

Hmm…what would be the line of the week?  Greenlee’s comment that there would be no picket fences for their family, only miles of razor wire?  Kendall telling Zach that he must have broken a land speed record in response to her phone call?  How about Zach rubbing her feet and saying “This is the only physical pleasure I’ve ever given my wife,” and Kendall not responding to that hot potato at all?  That was a good one, oh, yes, a veeery good one.  But my personal favorite is David bursting into the hospital room and saying “I just heard about the fire!” and Kendall’s response, “Wow, you really are ostracized.”  SOMEONE GET DAVID A STORYLINE!  

When she isn’t pimping Ethan, I do love Simone.  The fire retardant twins!  She was funny as she tried to referee the snit between Kendall and Greenlee.  I liked her line when Kendall said she was getting a divorce – “I’m so sorry….I think.”  

PS – the baby can’t really be Kendall’s.  Even if it turns out not to be Greenlee’s egg, it can’t be Kendall’s either.  She’s a Kane woman!  They have girls!  Kane eggs have some sort of chemical that destroys any Y chromosome that comes near them.  Sort of like what the Kane women do to the men in their lives (which goes to show that Bianca, by being a lesbian, really is the kindest Kane). 

Thanks for reading.  Cheers!