Daytime Diva: The View From the Recliner's Edge By Belinda Ache

September 19, 2007

The Good, the Bad, the Disgusting

I have to tell you; I have had the worse time trying to get this column together for you. I am so disgusted with Todd Manning on One Life to Live and James Craig-Jerry NOT Jacks on General Hospital that it has had the effect of giving me writers block. I sit here and all that comes to my mind are colorful strings of curse words that end with their names. I’m just going to do the best that I can to state my feelings with as little invective as possible.

All My Children is the least offensive show I’m watching at this time. I love Adam Chandler. I think I love Junior, too. I’m a bit wierded out by liking Ava with Junior; despite the shameless age difference. I find that I dislike Erica less when she is with Jack and that I like Jack very much. I’m enjoying Tad and Krystal and look very much forward to Adam making it a very interesting threesome.

I’m not a big Ryan fan although Annie is intriguing me with her new unfolding storyline. I believe I’ve mentioned that I’m done with Kendall. My goodness I haven’t seen a character so foisted off on the fans of a show as the next coming since Courtney Mathews on General Hospital. The long time fans of the show may think that the sun rises and sets in the girl but I most certainly do not.

Of course the jury will remain out on Babe until after the big recast. I just don’t have enough to go on yet to know how I feel about the character. Instinctively I am not getting in to Greenlee although her scenes with Aiden are not completely without merit. I just haven’t been able to decide how I feel about the other characters yet. Call me a slow study; I’m just not there yet.

One Life to Live is quite arguably the best soap on ABC at this point in time as I believe I have mentioned before. I am very much invested in Marcie and Michael’s fight to keep their adopted son. The brand spanking new attorneys arguing both sides are a tad distracting but I’m trying not to let that throw me. I’ll get to Todd in  a minute. In the meantime I want to say that I really enjoy seeing Langston and Marco and that taken in small doses this includes Starr, Cole and the high school scene.

I LOVE Roxy and Dorian drinking beer with Rex an Adriana at Rodi’s and got a big laugh out of Blair’s snatching Rex up by the hair before the Cramer Girl Power Pow Wow. Blair is a strong woman character and I might be able to love her if she was not on this merry-go-round of dysfunctional matrimony with Todd.

Let me be clear about something, I do not understand Tessica. She has this golden get-out-of-your-a-tramp hell card going for her but instead of using it she is allowing Jared Banks and whatever happened between them to mess up her new found bliss with Nash. Correct me if I am wrong, but wasn’t Jess a very smart girl? Nothing that Tess did can touch Jess in a negative way. Whatever Jared was to her and whatever they did together can not touch Jess and her letting it do so rings false.

This is a very stupid plot point and one that makes absolutely no sense at all. Jess; here’s a hint: just tell everyone whatever happened, ditsy bitch! It wasn’t you-- it was Tess, and even if it was you-- you can say it was Tess and get away with it while sending Mr. Hottie down the road talking to himself… unless of course Jared is the new Nash and Nash is the new Antonio in which case your golden free pass may be about to be revoked. At least I would certainly hope so!

I have to agree with Nash about Natalie. She is much more like able as the hard drinking mess than she has been since they paired her with McPain. I might learn to like her again if they keep this up. Speaking of John, I may be crucified but I like him with Marty. They seem to be a better fit than I’ve seen for him before.

Which brings me to Todd, I haven’t always hated him. I wanted to explain to you that when he and Blair first got together before Starr was born, before he left the show the first time I was really rooting for them to be what the other needed for redemption. I thought they were hot together. They were both soiled and hurt and damaged and they seemed to bring out the best in each other: then. That said: I hate him.

The way he is acting about Tommy/TJ is ridiculous. Is he brain dead now? Has he lost his mind? Does this mental midget not grasp the fact that babies are human beings not property? The way he has acted in the last week ALONE should prevent him from custody, never mind what a freaking nutcase the freak is other than that.

General Hospital has nearly sent me in to a freaking fit. I’d like to start my comments with a few definitions:

Pimp: n. A procurer; pander

Procure:  v. To obtain for another (a person) for sexual intercourse

Pander: n. A go between or liaison in sexual intrigues, one who caters to the lower taste and desires of others or exploits their weaknesses

The above is the absolute best way for me to tell you how I feel about James Craig a.k.a. James Brosnan a.k.a. Jerry-NOT-Jacks. The character makes me want to projectile vomit. No, it does not mater to me that he is pimping Sam who is a turbo ho in the first place. I am beside myself trying to find some way to express my disgust with this filthy, nasty terrorist.

It is disturbing that Jerry pimping Sam out is just another plot point for the fans of this show. Sure. Whore Sam out for your own purposes and then go ask her mother out for a date.... it doesn't matter because she is no good anyway.

Jerry could just as easy find out that Trevor likes snooty bitches and threaten to beat and kill Emily if she doesn't put out to him. That would be JUST fine and dandy too, I guess.

Or wait, he could find out that Trevor likes them young and pimp out Lulu to Trevor... hey that would be all fine and dandy too, she seduced her step brother and she isn't a virgin; after all.

Oh I guess if Trevor liked older women we might get some joy out of watching Jerry pimp out Monica or Tracy too. They've both had their slutty times too.

Wow, good thing for the kids that Trevor isn't a PEDOPHILE, huh?

Sometimes the show makes me sick and some times I don't get the fans who are so DESENSITIZED to the victimization of women and the glorification of criminals and criminal activity that they can justify anything.

I need a drink.