March 23, 2007
I watched the TV show "Sex
in the City" a day or so ago. I adore this show. Here in Vegas at 11PM
week days, the PG rated one is shown
on reruns. I think I''ve seen every
one of these shows in the R and/or PG
rated format. Truthfully, the show does lose something in the
PG version. However, I take what I
can get. It beats watching the news.
Anyway, this episode had Carrie, the lead, ask if we women need to be
rescued. It dawned on me that many people, men and women alike, need and
want to be rescued. There are certain people who one of my good friends
refers to as Vampires. The Vampire is the
one who always needs help. Always in trouble. Always
has issues. And most of all ... always sucks the life or the blood out
of the strong ones. We, the strong ones, are really weak. Why you ask?
How can we be weak if someone is getting help from us? Because we are
there for the constant train wreck and we watch and help and never say,
"Come on buddy, get your life in order. Handle the problem and move on."
I thought that I didn't get
it until I realized just this past week that I had
been dealing with a guilt issue for 5 years. Without going
into great detail and giving you the Readers Digest version, something
happened during the weekend of my son's wedding. A so called "friend"
asked me to help her play a joke on the newlyweds. I knew fully well that
if I did this something for her, it would embarrass my son; however, I
wasn't strong enough to say no. SO because my self esteem was so
low I told her I would do it. I told my
son in advance and he wasn't a happy camper about it. As always, I wanted
to be loved and keep the peace, so I lied. The so called friend asked an
innocent third party if this joke ever was played out. Of course he didn't
know squat about it, so she caught me in the lie.
A week after the wedding,
she read me the riot act. I wasn't
upset with the fact that I didn't do what she wanted. I was upset with
myself that I couldn't say no to her, knowing my child always came and
always will come first. Usually, I do not lie but for that day I did. I have
regretted that I was made to lie and that I didn't own up to just saying
no. I guess since it's been 5 years no one could say I do not hold on to
things. Guilt is a terrible evil. While I was in NY this week, my friend
Gail asked about the so called friend. Gail met her at the wedding. I
shared with her that I am no longer in contact with the so called friend.
It was my choice not to be friends with her any longer. I told her the
more detailed version of the story. However, I still had this hurt and
anger at myself for allowing myself to be sucked in and to lie. We spoke
at great length and she rescued me. It just proved that even the strong
need a rescue once in awhile.
I can honestly say I do not have many
friends. My mother used to tell me that all you need is one good one and
your life is complete. I have Steve
so there's my one; however, I am very lucky to say that I can count
on at least 4 special women who have
been there for me and I hope I have been there for them.
I think it's great when we can pass the torch by helping and holding a
falling hand. So really, is being rescued once in awhile such a bad thing?
I think not!!
Oh, mirror in the
What is love?
Can the child within my heart rise above?
Can I sail thru the changing ocean tides?
Can I handle the seasons of my life?
... Stevie Nicks, c1975
March 4, 2007
February 10, 2007
January 17, 2007
December 28, 2006
December 2, 2006
November 16, 2006
November 6, 2006
October 26, 2006
October 13, 2006
October 7, 2006