For the Week of February 11, 2008

This week’s AMC left me with many questions:

Where has Jesse been all these years?

When will Jesse and Angie finally meet?

What is going on with Erica’s money?

Will Richie get a donor?

When will Ryan get his memory back?

And most important of all,

Is Dre still living in the tunnels?

I am serious. The last time we saw Dre he was hanging out and hiding out in the Chandler tunnels. Is the poor kid still there? Is he still sneaking upstairs to use the bathroom? Is he still living on smuggled sandwiches? Do the writers even remember he is down there? Inquiring minds want to know. OK, maybe only this inquiring mind wants to know. The current writers drop their stories more often than the Careys drop their, well, you know.

Speaking of the Careys, it is a joy to see them only a few times a week.  Total joy would be never seeing them again but it is unrealistic to believe that total joy will ever be realized. JR’s ring going down the drain was the perfect metaphor for what interaction with the Careys has done to several AMC characters.

I intended to write about it being time to move out of the hospital, end Greenlee’s canonization, and add some measure of realism to Kendall’s adventures in publishing. Then it dawned on me that more hospital, more canonization, and more absurd publishing happenings translated into less screen time for the Careys.

I can live with that. For now.

Less Carey time also means more time not wanting to slap Tad each time I see him.  Tad is being a good friend to Angie. Tad is being avuncular (I love that word) towards Frankie. Tad is trying to find out what is happening with Jesse without betraying his confidence. Tad’s delightful sense of humor is back. His “Opalized” comment was wonderful.  I am enjoying this respite. All too soon, Tad will be back to Adam baiting and taking hypocrisy to new heights.

Oddly enough, I am also enjoying Ryan’s amnesia.  It is not that I have amnesia about what a total ass he has been over the past four years, it is that this story gives Ryan more to do than shout and pontificate. Of course, Ryan has been an ass since he returned to PV but he really honed his being an ass skills during the last four years.

One reason Ryan is not shouting and pontificating is that no one has told him what an ass he has been over the past four years. I hope my friends would be as kind should I ever have amnesia, dissociative or otherwise.

Sugar-coating Ryan’s past certainly helped Greenlee sugar-coat her own, didn’t it? She left out her kidnapping “oops” as well as how abysmally she and Ryan treated Kendall. Over the years, I have tried but failed to forget the image of Greenlee fondling Kendall’s shoes and clothes. As I recall Greenlee and Ryan even joked about leaving a wet spot in Kendall’s bed (except they did not use the term “ wet-spot”). Kendall was not an innocent in everything that transpired, but Greenlee and Ryan contributed more than their fair share to the situation. A few home truths need to be pointed out to Ryan. However, since that would sully the image of this new bright, shiny, and adorable Greenlee it is unlikely to happen.

“Take off your damn shirt.” Annie said that with such force that I started taking my shirt off. Was anyone else concerned that she would demand insta-sex from Ryan? I underestimated that woman. Annie is confident enough to know she has other things in her arsenal besides sex. Guilt is not part of her arsenal, either. If Annie is going to break down, she is going to do it in front of Zach, not Ryan. Zach and Annie as friends is completely believable and unforced. During the crash crisis, Annie showed herself to be a true friend to Zach and now he is returning the favor. Will they ever be more than friends? That depends on whether or not AMC decides to resurrect Ryan and Kendall. All I know is that I wish whoever is writing Annie’s part in this story would write for a few more stories, too.

Yes, for now I am enjoying Ryan’s amnesia story. My only fear is that the amnesia cure will involve Ryan wearing a clown nose 24/7. On the other hand it could be fun seeing the PV residents’ reactions to the 24/7 clown nose.

If only Kendall was being written by the Annie writers. It saddens me that my mid-January concern has come true:

I am afraid Kendall may be joining GH’s Lulu and OLTL’s Natalie as women who used to be smart but are getting dumber, and more hysterical, by the minute.

Kendall has not only joined that sorry group but is well on her way to becoming the leader of the pack. Kendall has always been a bit skittish but that was never her most prominent or most endearing character trait. These days Kendall’s hysteria has trumped almost every other personality trait. Most people do not view two friends sitting together on a plane as irrefutable evidence that an affair is taking place. However, if one friend starts screaming, “we did a horrible thing” and “how can you sit there eating peanuts when we betrayed Zach and Greenlee” people’s suspicions just might be aroused. (Where is Donald Steele when you need him?) Aidan’s mature response (“I would rather deal with that guilt every day of my life than hurt Greenlee.”) was a nice juxtaposition to Kendall’s immature ranting.

I liked Aidan for that. I would have liked him even more if he had pushed Kendall out of the plane.

What else. What else.

Annie protecting Emma from the Ryan situation shows what a good mother she is.

Babe wanting to keep Lil’A away from Adam shows that whether it’s new Babe or old  Babe, mealy-mouthed Babe or smug Babe, her lack of self-awareness is always predictable.

“Try telling that to someone who doesn’t know you as well as I do.” It is too bad Erica and Adam never had child. Wouldn’t it be fascinating to see what that gene pool would produce?

The Greenlee and Ryan as scam artists flashbacks reminded me of how much I disliked Greenlee and Ryan together. “One of us is rich but let’s go fleece people anyway just to show what madcap scamps we really are.”

“Ok, whatever fine. I-I will not say a word, I promise, to the people I don’t know.” Richie’s and Annie’s hospital chat left me a bit sad. When Richie first came to town, I had hopes that their relationship would be interesting. It would have been compelling if Annie and Richie were both a little right and both a little wrong about their childhood. Billy Miller and Melissa Claire Egan have an easy onscreen rapport. It is too bad the writers decided not to take the actors’ sibling chemistry and run with it.

“I’m counting on you, Tad! For the sake of everything that I have ever meant to you, to Jenny, to your family, do this for my family, and keep your mouth shut.” The minute Jesse said “Jenny” I was a puddle.

“I think he just needed a little comforting and I provided that to him.” Damn those Careys. “Comfort” will never mean “comfort” to me again.

Frankie impresses me. Only 25 and he is already a doctor, a documentary filmmaker and a veteran. He is making Josh look like a slacker.

You know what I enjoyed about Greenlee’s coma? She didn’t talk her way through it. Sure, she had one little out of body experience but she did not give a play-by-play of everything going on in her head.

“I don’t care about the stupid book.” That makes two of us, Kendall.

Speaking of Charmed, there should be a limit on how many products a soap can push at one time. Between the book and Campbells, it sometimes feels like I am watching an infomercial instead of my favorite soap.

“Well, I guess that makes him (Jesse) my guardian angel, too.” There was a spark of the real Greenlee. The little self-centered bitch that I love to hate.

I am enjoying Joe these days. Making all those medical decisions limits his time to be hypocritical.

Amanda. Amanda. Amanda. Gorgeous, smart, charming. No wonder she doesn’t have a storyline.

“And that mama of yours has not aged one whit. I hate her for that.” So do I, Opal. In a loving kind of hating way.

“We’ve all made mistakes, Ryan. I mean, I’ve done some really horrible things, too. I came back to Pine Valley and I was terrible to Annie. She didn’t deserve it.” So Greens thinks the worst thing she has done over the past few months was being mean to Annie. Damn, I wish I had some of whatever she is smoking.

“Cut the crap.”  I am a little in love with Frankie. I have wanted to say that to Tad for years.

Were you as excited as I was about this week’s big reveal? Yes, it’s true, Pine Valley has more than two hotels. Well, OK, so the Pine Cone really is a no-tell motel. Still, it’s great that PV residents who want somewhere to have an affair or hide out from the law or build a coffin now have choice of three different places.


Will this week’s spoilers have us feeling a little hysterical ourselves? Let’s see:

It wouldn’t be Valentine’s Day in Pine Valley if someone wasn’t freaking out about something.

Aidan cuts short his visit to the Windy City so he can spend Valentine’s Day with his sweetheart Alphonso Greenlee.

A romantic Spotted Dick is the best kind of Spotted Dick.

Zach flies to the Windy City to be a guest judge on this season’s Top Chef. While there, Zach surprises Kendall for Valentine’s Day.

Damn, if only the first part were true. It would kind of fun watching Zach, Anthony Bourdain and Tom Collichio talking trash about Padma.

Kendall is queasy, anxious and eating a lot of chocolate. Kendall sees these as signs she is pregnant.

Or she could be anxious because of her first book tour, she could be eating chocolate because it’s Valentine’s Day and she could be feeling queasy from eating all that chocolate because it’s Valentine’s Day.

Kendall tells Erica she thinks she’s pregnant.

Oh, goodie, I love being the mother to a daughter who has children. As far as I am concerned there can never be too many children calling me their mother’s mother.”

Kendall tells Erica the baby might be Aidan’s.

Erica replies, “Oh, Kendall” in her best Mona-channeling voice.

Erica tells Kendall to get a pregnancy test to confirm whether nor not she is pregnant.

That is one thing I like about Erica; she doesn’t fret and dither, she takes action.

Annie and Ryan go on their first date as an amnesiac and his wife.

This might be a good time for Ryan to ask Annie about Emma. For example, he could ask why Emma is older than his amnesia. Annie could then explain that technically their “first” date happened in a fertility clinic.

Angie and Jesse get thisclose to having a reunion.

Angie takes Joe’s rather bizarre advice to celebrate Jesse’s birthday by visiting his grave.

The Pine Valley cemetery could make money by hosting a very specialized graveyard tour, The Faux Grave Tour. “Here is Babe Chandler’s unfortunately faux grave. If you’ll step over here, you can see Detective Jesse Hubbard’s faux grave. And here are our faux commemorative plagues honoring people who were presumed dead because their bodies were never found. Boy, were we embarrassed when they turned up alive. Please note these include Pine Valley luminaries Tad Martin, Dixie Martin, Maria Santos and Alex Devane. Oddly enough, Alex’s sister Anna has a faux commemorative plague of her own in Port Charles, New York. Now if you will board the bus we will be heading over to Wildwind to show you Dimitri Marick’s faux sarcophagus.”

Angie is quite surprised to discover Jesse is already visiting Jesse’s grave.

I wonder if Jesse left some fresh flowers on Jesse’s grave.

Angie faints. Jesse calls 911 and leaves.

I am trying to patient. After all Jesse has been lurking for less than a month. Let’s just hope he isn’t trying to beat Dixie’s lurking record.

Tad hides Jesse in the Hypocrisy House basement.

Well, at least Tad didn’t offer to have Krystal “comfort” him.

Angie arrives at Hypocrisy House. Angie logically believes that she was hallucinating at the cemetery. Tad and Krystal invite her to spend the night.

Once again, Angie and Jesse are thisclose to reuniting. I, for one, am glad that their reunion isn’t taking place at Hypocrisy House. Even the Pine Cone is more romantic than HH and it smells better, too.

Angie decides to leave Pine Valley in the morning. Tad and Krystal decide to help the Hubbards run into each other.

AMC gives with one hand and takes with the other. Angie and Jesse finally meet and that’s a good thing. Angie and Jesse thinking Krystal is the greatest thing since whoop-ass started coming in a can? Not so good.

Other stuff happens, too.

There is a certain frisson when Erica meets Samuel Woods. Erica is thrilled that Jack seems to be jealous.

Of course, Jackson is jealous. He was hoping to create a little frisson of his own with Samuel. Hey, at least this would put a different spin on the endless and predictable Erica/Jack dance.

Ryan accuses Zach of stealing his life.

Poor Ryan. He is getting recycled scripts from Greenlee’s return. The writers merely substituted “Zach” for “Kendall.”  

Krystal and Babe hack into Joe’s computer and are shocked by what they find.

Joe’s bookmarked porn sites?

Here’s to another week in the Valley!

Kate's AMC Spoiler Archives For 2008

February 4, 2008

January 28, 2008

January 21, 2008

January 14, 2008

January 7, 2008


Kate's AMC Spoiler Archives For 2007