For the Week of March 17, 2008


Writing this column is a pleasure. As unbelievable as it may sound, I try to find something positive to say about All My Children every week. Some weeks it is a struggle to find that positive thing. It often seems like pulling my teeth out through my ears would be easier and less painful. This past week, however, presented me with two positive subjects, Adam and Tad, to discuss. There were enough good things to say about them that my teeth and ears are safe. At least for this week.


                    “So, Martin, what you saying is that you cannot protect

                    your wife and child, but I can.”

I had to watch the Adam/Tad scenes twice before believing they were real. It has been far too long since we have seen the deliciousness that is the true Adam Chandler. David Canary is always delicious and always makes Adam work, no matter the dialogue or story. Mr. Canary understands Adam. The last few AMC head writers? Not so much. Adam is not a saint, nor would he want to be labeled one. Adam is also not evil personified nor should he be written that way.

I admit to cheering with delight watching Adam give Tad a hard time. Yes, Adam toyed with Tad’s ego. Yes, he threatened to make Tad beg. Yes, it seemed for a moment he would not give Tad’s family refuge. Still, Adam never came near the obnoxious, taunting, boorish behavior Tad displayed about having cuckolded Adam. That‘s because Adam is secure in his Adam-ness.   

Tad is not secure about who he is. Ray Gardner is one reason. Ray treated Tad like he was worth nothing and on some level Tad still believes that to be true. The Martins saving Tad was a wonderful thing. However, the Martins are not big on self-awareness, hypocrites seldom are. Tad cannot really look at who he is and accept responsibility for the things he has done. He can say, “I hope I’m not like Ray Gardner” knowing he will always hear the answer, “You are nothing like your father, Tad.” It is sad because it leaves Tad stuck somewhere between being a little boy and being a man.

I have said these things about Tad before, mostly in reference to his relationship with David.  The same things hold true about Tad’s relationship with Adam. Both Adam and David make Tad feel impotent. Adam is a self-made tycoon, as well as being a cunning linguist. David survived both his father’s suicide and Vanessa’s twisted motherly machinations. Despite all that, David became a world-renowned surgeon. Tad’s behavior towards both men is often childish. On many occasions, Tad mocked David’s skills as a physician much the way a child would mock another child’s accomplishments. This week Tad berated Adam even while asking him to give his family shelter.

When Tad was a teenager, this behavior was understandable. Now that Tad is an adult, it is simply sad.

Still, watching Tad emotionally prostrate himself before Adam was a true schadenfreude moment for me.

However, watching Tad talk about his experiences with Ray Gardner was the polar opposite of a schadenfreude moment. It an intensely poignant one. Know that Uncle Rob was playing Tad made it all the more heartbreaking. I confess to quicktears.

Michael E. Knight really shone in all his scenes. Give him good writing, good acting partners and watch him go. Like a fine Orsini cabernet, Mr. Knight gets better and better as time goes by. He has always been good but his performance this week had nuances that were wonderful.

Yes, Adam and Tad had quite a week. That said, this story makes no sense whatsoever. Casa Chandler makes the boathouse look secure. After all, Cambias-the-Elder was able to sneak poisoned peanut butter into the kitchen. Didn’t Josh use the tunnels to stalk surprise Babe? Almost every room has a secret door leading to the tunnels. At times the tunnels have a higher occupancy rate than the Pine Cone.

Why didn’t Tad stash Krystal and Jenny at Brooke’s house? Or David’s cabin? Or the Wallingford Mansion? Or send them to South America to hang out with Pablo and Carlos?

More importantly, why didn’t Tad hire 24-hour bodyguards? Sure, Tad said he could not afford them on his salary, but since when is Tad living only on  a salary? More importantly, Tad may not have the cash but Jamie certainly does. For all my rantings about Jamie, I have no doubt that he would cough up the cash to provide protection for his sister.

Stashing Krystal and Jenny at Casa Chandler may not have made any sense but the Carey’s behavior made all the sense in the world. From Kyrstal stating her “demands” to Babe acting indignant about JR moving back into his own home, it was all pure aggravating Carey. Their behavior reminded me why I loathe them.

I had the nagging feeling this week that Annie’s behavior should bother me more than it does. She is not delivering on the support she promised Ryan and she is making snarky comments about Kendall. One reason her behavior does not bother me isbecause it is realistic. In the same situation, I would behave much like Annie. In fact, Annie is behaving much better than I could ever hope to behave. I do not doubt that Annie would be handling Ryan’s amnesia much better if there were a physical reason for it. As it stands, she cannot help but feel that Ryan’s brain, such as it is, chose to forget her. In retrospect, Annie made a mistake in having sex with Ryan. Still I can understand why she did it. It was the most attention Ryan had paid to her since the morning he woke up wondering what he was doing in a strange woman’s bed.

Ryan topped Annie’s bad decision by lying about remembering a moment they had shared. Ryan flying off to LA only made matters worse. Did Ryan really think he could keep that a secret?  He has lived in Pine Valley long enough to know that a secret never stays secret for very long.

Besides, Annie’s behavior makes her a much more interesting character. Annie being all Stepford did both the character and the actress no favors.

What else. What else.

“Do you think I’ve over packed for prison? Don’t be embarrassed Jackson, I too, fell for Erica’s joke.

“I think I’ve changed. I think I’ve become a better man.” Even if that were true, Ryan, the fact that Kendall is happily married hasn’t changed.

“If your concern for Krystal outweighs your contempt for me, this must be a serious threat.” It is serious, Adam, but obviously not serious enough for Tad to give you any details. This means when the whole thing goes horribly wrong it will all be Adam’s fault. After all, Adam is EVIL.

“I had to reconnect. So I thought of Opal, and you and family.” I bet you did, Uncle Rob. You probably thought about everyone in Pine Valley that you could hold hostage.

“That’s because I’m on triple digits of how many times I’ve forgiven you.” I loved hearing JR say that to Babe. Yes, I know Babe said it to JR, but in my head…

Tad is on his way to being named Patron Saint of Revisionist History. His little story about cuckolding Adam left out one tiny detail: Krystal had spent the better part of nine months letting Adam believe that Jenny was Charlotte. In addition, Tad conveniently left out the part about Adam telling him he was going to be a father again.  If not for Adam’s truth telling, Jenny would still be Charlotte.

 “I don’t roll over for anyone, Josh. Not unless I’m married to him and he asks nicely.” I agree that would be too much information for a mother to share with her son, but it still would have been fun to hear Erica say it.

“My tackle box is humongous.” Oh, Adam, I have never doubted that for a minute.

“Stop being a selfish bastard or you and I are going to have a go at it.” Aidan was a bit over the top. Still it would be fun watching Ryan and Spotted Dick have a go at it. Naked. In Jell-O.

Zach telling Greenlee that he knew Kendall was lying about spending  time with Ryan in LA was disturbing. For years now, Zach has been reminding people how much Greenlee has hurt Kendall. Makes me think Ryan is not the only amnesiac in town.

“She (Krystal) has been around the block a few times.” Tad is quite the master of understatement, isn’t he?

“We’re both a little wiser and a little older.” It’s true, JR, you are older. Wiser? That’s debatable considering you still want a life with Babe.

“Out of all my seven husbands, I’ve had the best times with you.” I love life in Pine Valley, don’t you?

“I’ve had all I can take of your emotional roller coaster.” There is an easy solution for that Krystal. Move out of Casa Chandler. In fact, both you and Babe need to take a break from the horror that is the Chandler men.  Maybe the two of you should move into the Comeback’s storage room. How long should you stay? Just long enough for Uncle Rob to blow the place up.

“One last guilty pleasure before prison.” Was Erica talking about the mint or Jack?

“How dare you say that Tad cannot keep me safe?” Did Krystal miss the discussion about why she was moving back into Casa Chandler?

I want Uncle Rob and Prison Break’s Michael Scofield to have an origami smackdown. Uncle Rob will be wearing his best conman outfit and Michael will be wearing only his tattoos.

Is Erica wearing that wig because she finally tossed all the hair off her head? Or is she planning to audition for the prison's production of Chicago?

“There’s a fire going on between us and you can’t just Tad it down.” Yes, I know Adam said “tamp it down” but in my head…

Will this week’s spoilers have us seeking shelter in the Chandler tunnels or not? Lets’ see:

Erica heads off to prison. Could this be a “new beginning” for her?

Erica puts on a brave face as she starts her journey to the Big House.

“Val, get my brave face for me, will you? Come on, Val, I need it right now.”

Erica taunts Samuel about his victory in court.

“Ok, Val, now I need my taunting face. Val? Val?”

Erica meets up again with Carmen, her biggest fan. Turns out Erica and Carmen are cellmates.

So, for the next 6 months Erica will be worshipped and adored. Erica’s life in prison won’t be that different from her life outside after all.

The mystery of what Jesse may or may not know and who wants to know what Jesse knows or doesn’t know continues.

Angie and Krystal decide to pay Mrs. Remington a visit. Mrs. Remington’s heart attack gets in the way of answering their questions.

If only Mrs. Remington had eaten more Prego.

Angie notices Mrs. Remington’s necklace is missing. She and Krystal think the necklace might have something to do with Jesse’s disappearance 20 years ago.

Let’s just hope the necklace doesn’t follow Jesse’s lead and disappear for 20 years.

Tad and Jesse find the warehouse where the people who wanted to know what Jesse may or may not have known held him prisoner. Angie joins them. The trio discovers a shrine to Jesse.

It all makes sense now. Uncle Rob hasn’t been stalking Jesse because he wants to hurt him. Nope, turns out that Uncle Rob has been stalking Jesse because he has a crush on him. Who can blame him?

Uncle Rob kidnaps Colby and Frankie.

Somehow, this will all turn out to be Adam’s fault. You may not know this but Adam is EVIL.

Hell hath no fury like an Adam who discovers his daughter has been kidnapped.

This is reason enough to watch AMC this week. An angry Adam is a sight to behold.

Jesse receives a message telling him the only way to rescue Colby and Frankie is to return to the warehouse. Alone. Jesse rushes to save the two kids.

Jesse has always been believable as a hero. Tad? Not so much. Ryan? Never.

Tad promises Adam that he will find Colby and bring her home. After all, he is a private investigator.

OK, Tad, will this be the same way you found Dixie after she left town to have Kate? Or will this be the same way you managed to find Kate and bring her home?

When Tad decides to tail Jesse, Adam decides to go along.

For a lousy father, Adam certainly seems concerned about Colby, doesn’t he? There is one reason I don’t like this plan. If things go wrong, all the blame will fall on Adam.

Adam suffers a heart attack and crashes the car.

See, I knew something would happen to make everything Adam’s fault.

While waiting for Jesse, Uncle Rob fondles Mrs. Remington’s necklace.

Let’s just hope he didn’t fondle Mrs.Remington before causing her heart attack.

As Jesse enters the warehouse, an incredibly bright light blinds him.

I’m assuming it is not “the” bright light, but, hey, you never know. Maybe Uncle Rob is just doing origami using flash paper.


Other stuff happens, too.

Ryan tries to recapture some of the past with Annie. Annie is having none of it.

Of course, she isn’t because unless Annie is turned into a complete and total bitch, we might think Ryan is wrong in wanting Kendall instead of her.

Julia tells Babe that Richie’s condition is not getting better, it’s getting worse.

“You see, Babe, at first we thought he would be a complex character but that was too much work. Instead, we made him a one-note villain. Even that didn’t make him boring enough so we decided to have him become obsessed with you. Now we have lost interest altogether. Sorry.”

Guess who walks in while Babe is visiting Richie? None other than JR. JR and Richie both come to their senses. They team up and murder Babe.

Well, a girl can dream, can’t she?

Here’s to another week in the Valley!

Kate's AMC Spoiler Archives For 2008

February 4, 2008

January 28, 2008

January 21, 2008

January 14, 2008

January 7, 2008


Kate's AMC Spoiler Archives For 2007