March 24, 2006

My loveys!  Welcome back to Sage and all that is Sage!!

After that giant flow of gossipy gossip from a few days ago, I had to kick back and smoke a cigarette and eat a bowl of cornflakes, don'tcha know!  I did feel like I wanted to pop in today with a few comments on the upcoming stories and some (more) of the gossip that's going around.

Eye on Soaps is still accepting guest columns to feature on our Muse Writers page!  If you have ever fancied yourself a soap columnist, why not live the dream and a submission in for consideration?  You might get posted or you might get filed for future use, but if you have something to say about ABC soaps or the genre of soap operas, click on RJ's typewriter over there to the left and give it a crack!

What drew me to Eye on Soaps in the first place (plus having read Katrina faithfully at another site) was the plethora of wonderful commentary the site provides; absolutely the very best on the net.  The tradition continues with the guest columns we have received so far and I very much look forward to reading more of what our EOS readers think!  If you have not yet checked out the work of our talented readership, you can find them listed with our staff writers' work here.


You are NOT going to believe the latest AMC story turn.  I mean, I can't even make up shit like this. 

After Ryan tells Kendall HE wants to be the one to raise their baby on his own rather than put it up for adoption, Kendall puts her foot down and decides to adopt the baby out.  She and Zach share a close moment when he tells her that he wishes he'd had the chance to raise Ethan.  She's confused.  She's pressured.  She's pregnant, so Dr Madden arranges for her to go away to an island to rest and relax.  Of course, the island is populated by pregnant women who are giving their babies up for adoption.  They also have something else in common:  a really freaky devotion to Dr Madden.  Adversaries must work together as Zach and Ryan team up to figure out what Madden is up to exactly. 

Of course, the real question is whether or not Madden will make it back to the island to deliver (as in catch at the birth and deliver to their new owners) those babies with Poison Patty after him.  Erica starts making deliveries herself when she brings her toxic tea to Greg.  Amazing that he just doesn't get a clue.  So here he goes with more cardiac symptoms and no one, not even David, can figure out what's going on.   Later, Erica decides to redouble her efforts.  Josh is the one who begins to suspect Eric must be up to something.

Comes the word this week that Josh is going to get yet another parent he doesn't know about as Jeff Martin returns to Pine Valley.  The question I have and cannot seem to answer is who will play the part?  Will it be the second (and most well remembered) Jeff Martin, Charles Frank?  (left)  Will it be Jeffrey Byron, Dr Jeff Martin #5 (son of the late Anna Lee - right)?  Will they have to recast to maintain the illusion that Erica is only 29?  Since Jeff Martin was her first husband, they may not be able to use any of the original actors. 

Looking to recreate his past mistakes, David uses his knowledge of Dixie's undeath to the fullest advantage.  He thinks they can recreate their luvvvvv, so he blackmails Dixie into staying in Pine Valley by saying he'll spill the beans if she leaves and put her family on her tail.  If she'll stay with him just a little while longer, he'll keep her secret.  So let's take a head count.  Who knows Dixie is alive now?  David.  Dell.  Di.  Zach.  Janet...  Dixie will be all over town, having near misses and pressing her back against a lot of walls.  One interesting exchange happens when she seeks out Dr Madden and chews him a new one.  The two exchange heated words and accusations and we learn that Dixie holds Dr Madden responsible for Kate's death.  Of course, that means that Kate didn't actually die, but was adopted out and Dixie was told she was dead.  Don't worry.  The secret will not be long lived.  In a week or two, Dixie and Tad will come face to face with unexpected results.

For all of you who have been wondering where she went, rest assured that Simone is back and she is pissed off!  It's catfight central when all of the interested parties meet up at once at the Fusion office.  Babe and Kendall and Simone are having a hard enough time maintaining the peace, but throw Amanda into the mix after Babe gives her a job at the office and the fight is ON. Simone wades in for the kill and Amanda ends up with a trip to the hospital to have her injured wrist treated.  Fortunately for Amanda, Fusion isn't the only job offer she gets.  Greg Madden takes pity on her and offers her a job working for him.  Something tells me she'd be better off as a shampoo girl at the Glamorama.

Wow!  Have you heard the rumor that when Robin Christopher returns after maternity leave, it will be to AMC and not GH?


Ring-a-ding-ding!  Time to wake up, Nora! 

Bo and Matthew are thrilled when Nora opens her eyes and regained consciousness, but she still is unable to speak.  The powers that be promised us that Nora would be back after sweeps and they were as good as their word.  The question now is whether or not the coming year (for which Hillary B. Smith extended her contract) will offer up a decent story for Nora.  If it doesn't, it would be a safe bet that she's outta here. 

What's going on in DID World??

When Tess finds out that Viki and Clint know the secret that created her, she attempts to team up with Dorian, but soon discovers that Dorian is way to attached into Clint to trust.  She uses Dorian's laptop to find her molester and rid the world of him forever.  She's stopped by Nash, who also saw the computer screen.  When Nash decides to do the deed himself, she stops him.

Viki is able to hold Niki at bay with Clint's help.  Dr Crosby learns about Viki's past problems with DID and is appropriately impressed with her strength and dedication and all other things Viki. 

Marriages are shaken, but not stirred in the near future.  In April, Marcie will choose her Matron of Honor.  Lindsay!  John, of course, is chosen as Michael's best man. Adrianna offers to help Marcie with the wedding plans. 

While that marriage is slowing but surely coming together, Kevin and Kelly take a blow to the midsection as Duke steps up to the plate and not only admits his love for Kelly to Kevin, but pulls Kelly into a big kiss. 

It's the clash of the investigators as time and time again, Natalie insists on working on the dead case file on the murder of John's father.  He straight out tells her to leave it alone and she refuses to do so.  Cristian holds John responsible when he learns that Natalie is meeting with smarmy characters in Atlantic City (after getting a lead from Roxy).  Natalie lies when she is questioned about working on the case.  On Monday, author Peter Straub will play the part of Pete Braust, Thomas McBain's former partner. 

Margaret's knitting becomes even more unraveled and her fate will be sealed (again) the first week of April.   Evangeline believes Denton has the answers she wants and finds him in Chicago. 

An unusual pairing, Todd and David, find that they have a very strong commonality:  The both want to take down Spencer.  Bo gives Spencer a warning, ordering him to stay away from Paige, who is working double time to try and keep her relationships intact.


As if in competition with All My Children's ludicrous "Dr Madden's Island of Pregnant Babes" story, GH jumps into the silly ring with the Killer Klown approach to offing young Jesse.  Manny hires a guy named Fitch to kill off Diego.  The question presented in an earlier column this week about whether Elizabeth goes to Lorenzo or Jason to protect Lucky is answered and ta da! Liason lovers will get a moment with their two favorite people together.  Don't figure on a bone being thrown our way.  It's just business from what I hear.   So a shootout commences and Jesse ends of taking the business end of a clown gun.  Lucky doesn't handle the situation very well (he's got the guilts), but Manny does, killing off Fitch to make sure no one knows he was involved. 

OK, see if you can follow this one.  Sam and Ric get into a major argument that begins to get out of control.  Jason jumps in to his lady's defense and attacks Ric.  Ric goes and tattles to Sonny, telling him to get his pup on a leash because he's out of control.  Sam is tempted to tell Alexis the truth, but instead, decides to dig deeper into Alexis' past.  Carly helps herself into Jason and Sam's penthouse poking around trying to find Jason and instead finds Sam's file on Alexis and gets an eyeful.  Carly runs to Jason and Sonny to tell them that Sam should be careful with this information (yeah, because just anyone could break into your home and find it).  Sam then can't help herself from watching Alexis with her family, but is caught by Ric.  Carly then goes directly to Sam and warns her not to tell Alexis the truth.  So now we have Sam, Jason, Emily (that pissed me off right there) and Carly who now know that Alexis is Sam's mother.

Got it?  Sam's digging pays off the week of the 3rd and she gets surprising information for her efforts.

I guess she opened her eyes because Jason sees more than he wanted to when he watches Sonny and Emily inhaling one another's face.  Personally, I wish Jason had just walked over and stuck his tongue down Emily's throat when she said that.  That'd break that dog from sucking eggs.  (C'mon, they aren't related and that girl needs a wake up call, OK?) 

When he sees what he sees, he walks away without confronting them or saying anything, holding his anger inside to fester into a potential ulcer.   The secret is going to come out in a week or so anyway and in grand style.

Lorenzo actually comes clean with Jason about working with Manny later on.  He does so because he wants to offer a truce to Sonny. 

Skye takes the obligatory fall down the stairs at the Haunted Star, but she and baby are both OK, from the fall at least.  The seeds are planted for Robin Christopher's maternity leave as Skye begins to see things she doesn't like:  Lorenzo talking with Manny, for instance.  Lorenzo admits to something later that surprises her and ultimately, she decides to go away and have the baby on her own.  As mentioned above in the AMC section, there is a rumor going around (unsubstantiated) that Robin Christopher will return to AMC rather than GH after her maternity leave, eager to get back to the East Coast again.

Although you've been hearing about it for a while, Noah's surgery under protest will not happen until the week of the 3rd.  A series of event set up ahead of time to give the desperate son's fight to save his father sinister undertones.  Noah refuses care.  Lucky doesn't believe Patrick meant to save Jesse, but instead wants to let him die to harvest the liver for his father.  Robin has questions about Patrick's determination to pursue a surgery his father does not want.  Something tells me the postoperative recovery from this operation will be more than a few week's bed rest.  But this is Miracle Hospital! 

Have a wonderful week, folks.

Rock on,

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Archived Columns

March 9, 2006

March 17, 2006

March 20, 2006