By Starr Raven Madde




Is Ivana Tinkle there? 

Lemme check. 


I can’t believe he’s doing this. *hangs up* Hmm…now who do I call? *scrolls through the numbers* Ah-ha 


Port Charles Mortuary.  You stab'em and we'll slab'em. 


Do you have any Grey Poupon? 



Shit. Uh—I mean—uh—no. It’s Elizabeth. *clears throat and puts on a high voice* I have a cold. I’m going to go throw up now. *hangs up* That was close. 


Hello? *sniffle* 

What’s up, Liz? 

Oh, hi, Spinelli. *sniffle* 

What’s wrong? 

I just ran over my own dog. *sob* 

Jason wants you to call him. 

*Sniffle* Okay. 



This is Santa. 

Oh, yes. I was wondering when those— 

Diamonds aren’t coming. 


Stop calling me. 




What’s black and white and red all over? 

*Giggle* I don’t know. What? 

Do you want version one, two, or three? 


A penguin with a sunburn. 

*hysterical laughter* 


That’s it for today. Wait until Goddess of Hotness finds out what happened to her cell minutes. 


All in a day’s work.


Pictures are from:



Spinelli & Jason

I Wish That I Had Jason's Girl

Are You My Mother?

Peter Quartermaine

Miscellaneous Captions

Jax and Carly's Date