January 6, 2007
Ryass…You Misogynistic, Overbearing, Hypocritical Neanderthal….

It may seem like I'm picking on Ryan Lavery - a lot - in my column and there's a good reason for that:  HE MAKES IT TOO EASY!!!!  You know, as a parent myself, I can appreciate the efforts of other parents who are trying to protect their young; really… I CAN!  Somehow, when it comes to Ryan though… (who will henceforth be known as RYASS) it just doesn't ring true.  At least not in Spike's case anyway.  Whatever one's own opinions on the subject of mother's sacrificing themselves to save their unborn babies, I gotta say… Ryass wasn't very protective of Spike whilst he was in utero.  He was willing to sacrifice his son back then, admittedly to save Kendall's life, but hey…it's part of the pattern.  Going back even further, he didn't seem to care much for any of his little spermlets, especially the one that managed to grow (for a short time) in the womb of the (then)  love of his life, Greenlee.  In fact, he went so far as to make SURE that none of his spermlets ever fertilized any female pastures by getting a vasectomy.  When that didn't work, and Greenlee found another (seriously misguided) way to bring his progeny into the world, he almost beat the crap out of her and then ran off, fully intending to kill himself. 

~observes moment of silence at lost opportunity to rid us of Ryass for good~

He didn't even show much concern for the sproutlet baking in Kendall's oven, when he learned that SHE was carrying his progeny; even before he knew that Kendall was the Momma and not Greens.  It wasn't until MUUUCH later that Ryass finally showed even a spark of fatherly concern for the sproutlet, and what did he do?  He took control from Kendall - via the most unconstitutional court order EVAHR - and gained full-custody of their unborn fetus and, by extension, Kendall herself.  Do you guys see a pattern here?!

Granted, Kendall can be an idiot, at times, and occasionally needs someone to reel and reign her in - FIGURATIVELY - but come ON!  Yes, she deserves to be smacked upside the head for EVER forgiving Ryass for the horrendous way he's treated her over the years - again and again and again - particularly the Greenlee debacle, where she swooped in and did precisely what Kendall told Ryass she feared most (taking him away from her) and everything that followed since.

NOW, he's decided that it's not safe for Kendall or Spike to be anywhere near Zach.  This from the man who couldn't even be bothered to SEE Spike (or answer his cell phone) while he was fighting tooth and nail to keep Emma with Annie - a woman he barely knew.  That night when Spike was so ill, Ryass couldn't even bother to check his voice mail, let alone take any calls from the mother of his child - and then proceeds to berate her and Zach for not letting him know that Spike was sick…


And again, he spent almost ZERO time with Spike even after that episode!  Let's see… Who was REALLY behaving like Spike's Daddy since his birth….?  Oh yeah!  ZACH!   Then, when he could be bothered to remember that he HAD a son, he proceeds to insensitively include Annie in on activities (such as Spike's first visit to Santa) rather than his own mother.  Yes, I know that Spike will never remember on his own, (so NOT the point) but when he eventually looks back, seeing the photographs, he's gonna be all "Where's my MOM?!"  Yeah, Ryass has every right to spend time with another female - I heartily ENCOURAGE this, as long as it keeps him FAR away from Kendall and her marriage.  But, come ON now… Kendall has done everything in her power to make sure that Ryass is included in whatever plans she has for Spike.  That's called being considerate of the other parent's feelings. Has he ever once shown Kendall the same consideration?  NO!

Getting back to the issue of Spike's safety… Does he go to Kendall and try to DISCUSS his concerns before reacting like the Neanderthal he is?  NO.  He decides, before he even talks to her, that Spike is gonna stay with Annie.  ANNIE?  Oh yeah, and he's gonna move in with her, so Spike will really be with him, except that Annie will be the one REALLY taking care of him.  HE decides.  With ANNIE'S full support.  You know, Annie?  The one who cried and whined and hystericked all over the place over anyone DARING to question whether or not Emma was really hers or if she was safe - THAT Annie.  No one can take her child from her, but she can take Kendall's?  Cause you can't play it too safe when it comes to the safety of a child…


I'm sorry, I was drowning in the hypocrisy there for a minute.  Anyway, so he stomps over to Kendall's and announces that Spike isn't coming home, but staying with Annie.  Kendall, righteously indignant and more than a little territorially pissed off (rightly so), tells him to go get HER son.  He refuses.  She finally explains the situation to him, insisting that Spike has all the protection and security any baby could need and he STILL decides that he knows best and he is keeping their son.  (I'm sorry…isn't that custodial interference or something?)  By the way, Kendall, YOU need to leave Zach too, then you can have Spike back.  When she (understandably) refuses, he then declares that she cannot even VISIT her own son until the murder rampage is over.


Now…I'm waiting for Kendall to go full-out Kane on his arse, but she doesn't.  I'm screaming at the TV, but she doesn't hear me. Why isn't she clocking him over the head with a very heavy object and running off to retrieve her son?  Then, of course, whipping boy that Zach is, (to TPTB at AMC) he's so deep in angsty misery that he's no help to her either.  (That's another column altogether, folks.)  Both Kendall and Zach deserve some of the vitriol I'm sending out at Ryass, but not as much as he does.  You know, just for breathing?  All I know is that, if I were Kendall, I would have bashed Ryass over his smug little bug-eyed face, hot-footed it over to Annie's, and kicked in the door so hard she'd be picking splinters out of her teeth for MONTHS!  Then I would have flattened anyone standing between me and my baby and taken him home.  Hopefully, Ryass would still be unconscious and I could put him in a crate and have it shipped to Timbuktu.

In closing, allow me to say that having Spike stay with Ryass and away from Zach and Kendall (his own MOTHER) does nothing to protect the little rugrat.  If this killer is really killing these people in an effort to punish Zach AND, if they are willing to sacrifice an innocent baby on the alter of their agenda, they're gonna just go after him at Annie's place.  Ryass doesn't have 24/7 guards around that place, or around Annie, Emma or himself.  Is Annie supposed to be able to protect Spike better than his own mother (who would literally FIGHT TO THE DEATH to save him)?!  That would be a resounding "NO!"  So what does he accomplish by this parental kidnapping besides alienating (I HOPE) Kendall and turning her against him?  I really hope this is the straw that breaks the camel's back and disintegrates any of the warm fuzzies Kendall still feels for Ryass.  I hope she finally realizes that she AND Spike are much better off if Ryass learns the truth about Emma and focuses all of his parental attention on her.  Kendall has Zach.  He's a much better father to Spike than Ryass could ever be, and she'd be much happier, not to mention happier and more….sane… without Ryass in her life.  "LET HIM go be a father to Emma and thank your lucky stars that he's out of your life!" I say!


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