All My Children

Too Many Cooks 

Something rather profound struck me this week concerning All My Children. Last week I said that a casual viewer would never work so hard to make a connection to the show. That kept repeating in my head because it is so true. It dawned on me that maybe the problem is that I AM trying too hard to associate this show with a history which I did not see but about which I have heard extensively. See, I’m not a casual viewer; I know 100% more about the history than someone who would just surf through and stop to admire a hairstyle or a sexy physique, or whatever would possess a channel surfer to stop on this show in the first place.  

Babe & Amanda: I LOVED them together. I loved the bar they were in: very chic and down town. As awkward as one might think that these two would be as friends I would still like to see it. Of course I am a big fan of friendships and always find myself yearning for more of them on daytime, so it was great for me when Babe dislodged the stick and started asking Amanda what she was doing with her fortune. I really hate that I have never got to see the (what must have been) fabulous relationship between Kendall and Greenlee. At least; on the one hand it seems like they must have had this great “Lucy & Ethel” vibe! 

One of the things All My Children would do well to strive for would be to get back that edgy, “sex in the city” feel. They were; after all, one of the first truly modern daytime dramas in the genre. What I remember was so real about All My Children back when it was fresh is it was touted as “not your mother’s soap opera”. The stories were more in sync with a younger generation. It was supposed to be more hip, more happening, and appeal to a savvier generation. Wouldn’t it be great to see some of that cutting edge once more? 

Mystery CDC: The hospital looks different: good. The set, the lighting, the hustle and bustle of what looks like a full and busy staff are all looking really good. It almost looks like they are filming in an actual hospital! I have a big old goofy smile on my face from seeing Angie again and since I had very little investment in any of the old actors who portrayed the characters recently recast I really have no drama going down about who is playing them now, so that’s one positive way for me to look at the show. 

Ritchie, Ritchie, Ritchie… what kind of low life, scum sucking, cloven hooves, back woods, lousy, sub human cretin would talk to any child that way and say something like “you can save my life but your mommy and daddy won’t let you so I have to die”? Good looking dude is sinking fast on my list of people I like and he wasn’t exactly at the top of it in the first place. 

On a purely superficial note: doesn’t everyone look fabulous these days on All My Children? Is it the lighting? Make-up? I don’t know but I’m admiring them all very much this week.

General Hospital

General Hospital has me scratching my head and wondering what on earth! First of all, Mc-Steamy; who put out that spoiler? Beat your head into the wall, ok? While Dr. Devlin has a nice smile and certainly seems to be no stranger to the ladies I positively can’t see women stopping dead in their tracks to drool over him. Over hyped much? Oh yeah.

Oh, man; Sam is the queen of too little too late isn’t she? Sam begged Liz not to tell Lucky that she risked “his kids” safety deliberately on more than one occasion and then she gets pissy when Liz won’t promise to keep her secrets. Dumb as a box of rocks, isn’t she? I hope she and Lucky never have biological children together they might not be bright enough to make it out of the birth canal.

What is Mac Scorpio doing to his hair? I have three words for you, Mac-daddy: Just for Men. Look it up, m-kay? Why do they want to make him look older than he is, anyway? They can dress him down, they can die his hair old lady at the country club blue, they can write him as too stupid to pour piss out of a boot and the man is still better looking than ¾ of the men on the show half his age. Oh, yeah and we can all rest assured that Coop Barrett was not the Text Message Killer because the PCPD gave a news conference saying he was.

Gah. I am so sick of Lulu. I’m sick of her face. I’m sick of her voice. I’m sick of her being blind ignorant about men. I’m sick of her whining for the man she can’t have and throwing away the man that she can. I don’t see the attraction to Johnny or Logan either one. I’m beginning to hate her. I don’t care about Trevor, I don’t care about Johnny and I do not care about the mob war. I’m over it.

Speaking of hate: I hate Carly and Sonny, again. She is a shrill, prying, ego maniac who refuses to pay attention to her own family because she can not mind her own business. He is an unstable mental midget with more obsessive tendencies than Monk. Way to go, new writers! Bring out all the things we hate about all the characters and maybe we won’t see how the stories changed RIGHT IN MID STREAM (yet another time) I hate to say it but Run, Kate. Run screaming back to your ivory tower. If you play your cards right you could convince yourself meeting back up with your old high school boyfriend and his being a stalker never happened.

Dang, I know that Ric needs to come to grips with his past and that letting us in on his back story is long over due but I can’t get over how odd he looks in that flannel shirt. The waitress with a heart of gold that he pours his heart out too is cliché, but that’s not always the worse thing in the world. Ric’s under laying vulnerability is one of the reasons that fans can still love him after some of the things he has done. He is so damaged. All he wants is to be loved and yet look at all that he has done in the name of love. What a viscous circle.

Oh man! How doofus were the generic teen thugs Michael is meeting on the docks? CC Devine called them Jay and not so silent Bob. Too clever! See you next week!

One Life to Live 

Last week I was a bit short on my One Life to Live commentary, wasn’t I? I guess the old adage that the squeaky wheel gets the grease really is true. Since there is less to bitch about concerning One Life there is therefore not as much to say? Well, not if I can help it! I’ve been meaning to tell you that I am beginning to like Miles Laurence since Cole shot him through the heart and he survived. Crazy? I know! But I think that he has such a sweet face. If he wasn’t written as a bad guy I would love to like him. 

I find myself hoping that he has put the visions of crazy-as-a-shit-house-rat Spencer Truman out of his mind and that he can just be a charming young man, innocent of the ways of the big bad world and trying to find out how to be a grown up and responsible. How terrifying and unique to have such a blank slate as Miles’ life was when he came to Llanview. He let Spencer Nut-ball Extraordinaire get in his head and lead him astray but it is my hope that he is done with the scandalous manipulations. I think it could be very touching to watch him find his way through life and figure out how to get what he wants without resorting to things like blackmail, kidnapping and attempted murder. My dream will no doubt wither and die on the vine like unpicked fruit, though; considering Addie “I never forget a face” Cramer has recognized him. 

Perhaps this will tie in to that shady shrink at Saint Anne’s who cured Addie? I can’t help but recall RJ mentioning an entire room full of nuns doing the chicken dance! There has got to be more to that story, don’t you know? Yes, I realize we have had way too many shady doctors but aren’t you curious what sparked the amazing recovery of the long insane in the membrane Ms. Cramer? Oh boy, I am. 

Talk about having a near breakdown! I was reading Daytime Confidential and they posted the names of who it is who is responsible for writing the shows we are watching right now. I had to break out the brown paper bag and do some deep breathing into it when I figured out that R. C. isn’t writing One Life to Live right now. Of course on some level the terms “writer’s strike” and “scab writers” had infiltrated my brain. The hyperventilation started when I thought of this precious gift One Life to Live has become under Ron’s care and my fear that someone else (even former executive producer Gary Tomlin) would be able to trash all of the wonderful things that have only just begun. I only hope that the shows do not suffer irreparably due to too many cooks. They spoil the stew, you know. 

So, we are suppose to believe that Rex—who allegedly “knows” Roxy, right?—has never thought about his family before deciding to marry Bore-ianna? Unless Bo Buchanan is his daddy then I can’t imagine how or why I would care; unless of course it would put Roxy back on the front burner. I could get behind that! 

Laughing my round rump off at Jess locked up in Saint Anne’s. Ha Ha Ha. That’s what she gets for a damn dumb idea. Where is Layla? Where is sexy Sean the body guard and Vincent? Where is the ethnic diversity that we were so excited about last fall? Lost to the writer’s strike as well? More Lindsey, please. More Nora and I am sure I’m NOT in my right mind but where are Langston, Cole, Star, Markko? There was such a promising start to their storyline for it just to be left hanging. Maybe better left hanging than completely and utterly ruined? For instance the way Langston treated “BFF” Starr on the 1/29/08 episode, practically closing the door in her face in her haste to get away from her. ICK! I do not want Cole and Langston to hook up. I like Markko! Markko + Langston = 4 EVA. 

Who hates Ramsey? Hand up! What a slime ball. Now John is going to have to let Gigi and Shane stay at his house for their protection. This has quite a few fans blowing a gasket prattling on about chem tests and old men paired with too young females. I’ll withhold judgment because I can’t help but think that even if there was a Jo-gi affair that it won’t last. There really aren’t that many people in the Rex/Gigi age group (Jess, Nat, Adrianna, Marcie) so she is no doubt “meant” for a Re-gi pairing. It just might take them awhile to get them there. 

Is it just me or is Nora becoming more and more self righteous as she and Clint get closer and closer? I am really enjoying Addie; I couldn’t care less about Todd and Blair re-deux 9,867.0 but there is very little going on on One Life to Live right now that I don’t care about, Jared, Jared & Natalie, Todd & Blair Manning: that’s about it!