Two is company but four is more fun.

 Carmen and Jack have a date at 8 at the Yacht Club. Adam invites Erica to join him at the Yacht Club for dinner at 8. What a coincidence!

The devilishly delightful Adam is back. Oh, how I have missed him.

Jack tells Erica to stop playing childish mind games with him.

But Jack, if she stopped playing childish mind games she wouldn’t be Erica, now would she?

 Jack tells Erica to leave Carmen out of her childish mind games.

If there is one thing Erica cannot stand it’s a man standing up for woman who isn’t, well, who isn’t Erica. Doesn’t Jack realize he just painted a target on Carmen’s back?

Carmen believes Jack is using her to make Erica jealous. Carmen truly believes Jack and Erica do belong together. Carmen thinks making Erica jealous will speed up the reconciliation so she plants a big kiss on Jack.

This is sweet. No, really. Poor Carmen has no idea what she has gotten herself into.

Jack assuages Carmen’s doubts about his intentions. To prove his sincerity, Jack gives Carmen a “real” kiss.

Carmen may be assuaged (this week’s favorite word), but I am not.  Jack may be using her without realizing it, but the potential for Carmen to be hurt remains the same. Would a passionate kiss from Jack change my mind? Maybe not, but I am willing to give it a try.

Adam surprises Erica when he plants a passionate steamy hot unrelenting kiss on her. Erica swoons.

Yes, I made up the last part. I would definitely swoon if Adam planted a passionate steamy hot unrelenting kiss on me.

Erica is surprised to discover that Jack and Carmen spent the night together.

I wonder how long it took Erica to find an urgent reason to stop by Jack’s house. 10 seconds seems a safe bet.

Erica realizes she just may want Jack back.

What a surprise, only not.  Maybe Erica and Ryan should form a support group for people who don’t want the one they are with until the one they are with wants someone else. During coffee breaks, Erica and Ryan can tell each other how wonderful and self-sacrificing and underappreciated they both are.

Jake and Taylor each go going searching for a place to live. Hilarity ensues.

Jake and Taylor both check out Jamie’s old apartment (aka the place where Jonathan used to smack Maggie around).

Life was so much easier when everyone could crash at Wildwind.

Amanda suggests Jake move into David’s unused cabin. They both make snarky remarks about David, but that doesn’t prevent Jake from moving in.

I made up the “snarky remarks” part but, really, does anyone think that won’t happen?

Not wanting to leave Taylor homeless, Amanda offers to let her live on her yacht.

I am confused. If Jake doesn’t rent Jamie’s apartment, how does that leave Taylor homeless? Why doesn’t she rent Jamie’s apartment? Maybe she has heard that it I was the place where Jonathan smacked Maggie around. Another thing confuses me, why does a young, bright, attractive woman who owns a yacht have to wear a parrot on her shoulder to get a date?

Amanda and Jake christen David’s cabin. How? With sex of course.

 I wonder if they do it on the steer hide rug. That rug has always figured prominently in my fantasies the sexy but evil David Hayward.

Annie loves Ryan. Ryan loves Greenlee. Greenlee loves Aidan. Kendall loves messing around in other people’s lives.

Greenlee and Kendall do not get the expected reaction when they show Ryan “oops-your –vasectomy –wasn’t-performed” letter. He’s angry alright - with them.

If only he would shoot the messengers. Sigh.

Ryan demands that Annie tell him why she kept the “oops-your –vasectomy –wasn’t-performed” letter from him.

I demand to know why Annie didn’t destroy the letter. She has been Stepford-ish, she has been kind, she has been nuts, but she has never, except for marrying Ryan, been stupid. Richie must be very disappointed.

Annie tells Ryan she believed having a child would bind them together forever and that is why she got pregnant.

An eavesdropping Emma mumbles to herself, “What am I? Chopped liver?”

. Ryan tells Annie that while he is mystified by her behavior, he will not leave her.

I don’t know why Ryan is mystified. Every woman who has loved Ryan, save Gillian, sooner or later starts behaving bizarrely.

Once again Kendall tells Greenlee that Ryan loves her. Greens tells Kendall that she loves her husband Aidan. Kendall tells Greenlee that Ryan loves her. Again. Greenlee screams at Kendall to shut the hell up.

Yes, I made up the last part.  It is what I would scream at Kendall. OK, it is what I have screamed at Kendall over and over and over again.

Ryan tells Greenlee the truth-that he loves her and only her.

Doesn’t Ryan realize that running around telling married women how much he loves them is wrong?  I mean really wrong.

Annie demands the truth from Ryan. Ryan admits that he does not love her but he does love Greenlee. Annie moves out, taking Emma and his clown nose collection with her.

Annie may be nuts, but she certainly knows what Ryan values most, doesn’t she?

Zach tells Kendall she needs to focus on her own family.

This happens every week, so why is it a spoiler?

Other stuff happens, too.

Babe and Amanda make a pitch for a new, affordable Fusion scent. Kendall and Greenlee reject the idea.

Haven’t affordable cosmetics always part of Fusion’s directive?  The “Kendall and Greenlee are elitists but Babe is understands the needs of real people” anvil is falling even as I type.

Finally Kendall and Greenlee agree to the new scent if and only if, Amanda provides the launch cash.

I hate everyone in this storyline. Except Amanda. Why? Because this will work out for everyone except her. Why is that? Because the writers inexplicably hate Amanda.

The new scent is called “Bella”.

 Oh, how cute, it is named after Arabella. I guess “Entitled Judgmental Self-Righteous Bitch” wouldn’t fit on the label.

Angie and Jesse receive mysterious phone calls.

Well, at least they are not telemarketing calls.

Jesse sidesteps Angie’s questions about his activities during the past 20 years.

Something tells me Jesse did not spend those 20 years being celibate.

Saying goodbye to Cassie breaks Angie’s heart.

And yet, for some reason, it doesn’t break mine.

Adam and Petey form an alliance. Adam will help Petey become closer to Colby. Petey will help Adam gain control of Fusion.

What could be better than a Chandler/Cortlandt alliance? Nothing. Absolutely nothing.

Oh, those AMC actors.

Vincent Irizarry returns next month as the evil but sexy David Hayward.

I am excited, with reservations.  David is one of my favorite characters. I do not always love his actions, but, like Adam, he owns his misdeeds. David’s return also means that Adam will not get blamed for everything that goes wrong in the Valley-just every other thing that goes wrong.

Given all that, why the reservations?  Like many others, David was sacrificed on the altar of the Careys. No one deserves being saddled with Babe as his daughter, not even David.  It would pain me to see him kowtowing to the Careys this time around..

Susan Lucci will be a contestant on the new season of “Dancing With The Stars.”

Where does this woman get her energy and why isn’t she sharing some of it with me?