Recently, a good friend of mine was discussing a family problem. Her daughter and my friend's husband and father of this young lady were at odds. It seems that the daughter was sharing a situation at work where she as an attorney would have to face going to trial. She is by no means a trial attorney but since the case was taken by her firm and her firm had the confidence in her, I truly believe she would succeed. However, while discussing her dilemma and not telling too much due to lawyer/client confidentiality, her father told her "chances are you are going to lose the case."

Now we all know that was just an opinion and a slip of the tongue. Who hasn't opened her/his mouth and wished we could put the words right back? As we know, that is an impossibility. So now the daughter, who is as nervous as a cat worrying about this trial, says to her dad, (I am paraphrasing of course), "You've never been there for me... you are never on my side... you never thought I would succeed." 

Interestingly enough, I've known this family for 16 years and of course would never have guessed that the dad was never there for his child, wife or other daughter. He was a coach for the baseball team she was on, helped her with her homework, worked with my friend with the Brownies and Girl Scouts, schleped more than once her furniture from Las Vegas to Northern CA, every time she moved, cried at her wedding (with joy), cried at her graduations and now she believes he wasn't there for her?

WHY DO WE ALL NEED THAT PAT ON THE BACK??  I know there are days when I accomplish something major for me and wish my folks were here to say, "Good going. Maxine."  I know when my grandson does something remarkable, which of course, speaking like a true grandma, is every day, he is told, "Good signing," "Good alphabet," "Good potty training" or "Good dancing."

This past weekend, I was at the General Hospital fan event in Studio City. I got to meet people who I hadn't seen literally in years. I had a ball. I hung around with people who are always there for me as I hope I am for them. We were constantly laughing and offering support in lifting and carting and relaxing, as well as eating. Again, the necessary PAT ON THE BACK.

I know my friend's daughter and husband will find their way back and like each other again. I also know how absolutely blessed I am to have so many people in my supportive window. I do not believe I will ever shun the PAT ON THE BACK. After hearing this story, I know that I will support whoever needs my support even when I might believe they don't want it. Funny how we take so many things for granted. I also know how quickly the world can change and the support that once was there isn't.

Be there to PAY IT FORWARD. It can never hurt to be there for a friend or a foe.