February 16, 2007

AMC:  If I could choose the Serial Killer…
I would pick Annie McDermott!!
>waits for gasps to subside<
Bear with me.  I don’t know that there is a single fan out there in soap fandom who would really be satisfied with the SATIN SLAYER turning out to be someone we have never heard of before, and have no investment (big or small) in.  Anyone?  Anyone?  Bueller? My rationale is simple:  At least Annie has been around long enough for people to know who she is.  On the surface, she appears to be the perfect little Stepford wife, right?  But, we also know that she has claws - ask Kendall and Erica.  Heck, you could even add Julia, Tad and Dixie to the list.  Her animosity toward them is a little more understandable, to a point, but it’s clear that she is still holding a grudge.  Still, what do we really KNOW about her?  Nothing much beyond the fact that she married a child molester and that Ryan and Jonathug think she's the epitome of perfect motherhood.  We also know that her judgment is highly questionable, since she believe Ryan to be the perfect man.  (ie: her telling Kendall there is NO bad, when it comes to Ryan.)


(I’m sorry, I just threw up a little bit in my mouth…)

Suppose she does have a few wires crossed - like Janet?  And in more ways than just her (hugely) mistaken belief that Ryan can do no wrong.  Suppose, when she saw how “wonderfully” Ryan treated her, she decided that she wanted him and everything he had to offer?  Money, security, a lavish lifestyle… Suppose she deduced (rightly) that Kendall would never let go of her hold on Ryan, and she decided to do something, in true sociopathic form, about it? Living in Ryan's house as she does, not to mention "working" at Cambias Industries, she would have access to the keys of the kingdom, as it were. She could easily have gotten into that warehouse, found out everything she needed to know in order to make it look like Zach was the reason for the murders, when Kendall was the primary focus all along - the others were merely there to draw attention away from that fact... It’s classic soap - not that TIIC even remember what CLASSIC SOAP is - and far more interesting than making a stranger the Satin Slayer.
No matter how hard TIIC try to sell us on a great love story between Ryan and Annie, it just doesn’t ring true.  They have no chemistry together.  Annie is behaving as the “yes woman” Ryan THINKS that he wants.  She is quiet, often demure (around him) and does and says all the things that Ryan needs to hear.  Such as “you’re right,” or “you’re the perfect father,” or “if and when you want me to know, you’ll tell me and I’m okay with that.”

(Sorry…it happened again.)

YEAH RIIIIIIIIIGHT!!!  No self-respecting woman is going to defer to Ryan’s infinite wisdom like that!  I prefer psycho-murderous Annie to this milquetoast Stepford wife she pretends to be; which I don’t buy for a second.  Psycho-murderous Annie would have layers, whereas Milquetoast Annie is just… BLEH!!   And, I’m sorry, as much as Erica gets on my LAST nerve sometimes, I found myself wanting Erica to smack the snot out  of her when she was baiting Erica that day.  Her smug, ugly little grimace, about how she didn’t need Spike to have an “in” with Ryan because she already HAD Ryan’s child?  Absolutely disgusting.  I hate it when other characters actually make me root for Erica.  That was the second time that Annie was rude or confrontational with Erica, and for really no good reason.  I’ve said it before, she hasn’t earned the right (ie: done her time in the AMC trenches) like the rest of us, to bash Erica or Kendall at will. And, let’s face it… Kendall can be a whiny, insecure, controlling, pathetic mess sometimes, but it is HIGH time that she came out on top OVER Ryan.  I would - and I think many others would, too  - find it unbelievably satisfying if Annie turned out to be the Satin Slayer.  If only because Kendall would be RIGHT and Ryan (& Jonathug) would be left stammering and sputtering and trying to explain how they could have been SO wrong about her.  After all, they’re LAVERY’S!  They’re never wrong!  Annie’s perfect!

Kendall is (what did Ryan call her the other day?) a “horses ass.”  (Very chivalrous and heroic to call the mother of your son that, Prince Charming!!)  WE can call her that all we want - you (Ryan) cannot.  Erica did say that it’s always the “plain, quiet ones” you have to watch out for.
That was true in Janet’s case and it is true in Annie’s as well.  I know TIIC won’t make Annie the killer and it’s all wishful thinking on my part, but it sure would make for a better storyline.

Until next time, have a drink or three on me!  The bar's open.


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