By Mysti

Sometimes – Love Isn’t Enough 

I’ve never been much of a Carly fan.  I still don’t know if I can ever get over what she did to AJ.  (Before you start screeching about how evil AJ was – remember, I started watching GH right when Billy Warlock took over the role.  The only AJ *I* knew then was the one that was sober, and living on his own, and trying to straighten out his life.  Then the Carly-train ran over him, and dumped a bottle of vodka on top of the mess, and he never was the same after that.)  But even I – someone who has *never* cared for the Carly character – can see the growth in her over the last year or so.  Finally – a side of Carly I can relate to! 

Haven’t most of us had that moment when we finally realize we don’t HAVE to have a man (or woman) in our lives to feel whole?  When we – as women – accept that maybe someone’s “love” is toxic for us – and we’re better off alone than with someone who doesn’t respect who we are?  Or who hurts us more than they help us?  Carly had that moment.  Sure – it took a trip to Shadybrook, but she had that moment.  She knows that even if she does love Sonny – sometimes – love just isn’t enough.  Sometimes – self-respect is more important. 

I keep seeing the haunted look on Carly’s face as she married Sonny yesterday.  You could see that she knew what she was losing.  That no matter what Jason said – she knew she was giving up herself once again.  And having walked out of that hell – and finally able to see clearly – she knew exactly what she was going into again.  She didn’t want to go.  Good God – she didn’t want to go. 

It irks me that Sonny and Jason can’t see that.  To them – once again, Carly is just someone for them to use for their own well being.  Neither of them really seem to *care* about Carly’s well being.  Neither of them really SEE her a person.  Her needs, HER wants – mean nothing to them.  For Jason, all that really matters is that Sonny is in trouble.  And rather than solving Sonny’s problem himself, Carly must throw away her life – and her hard won sanity and growth – to save Sonny.  I’m pretty sure that every time I hear Carly go on and on about her “best friend Jase” from now on, I will gag.  With friends like that – sheesh – who needs enemies? 

How incredibly selfish is it for Sonny to trick her into this marriage – knowing how hard she worked to move on with her life.  At HIS insistence, I might add.  He’s the one who wanted nothing to do with her.  He knows better than anyone how hard she’s worked to move on – to fix whatever was broken in her by all the years of his emotional abuse before he got on medication.  Yet he doesn’t seem to care.  Once again – what Sonny wants is what matters.  To hell with everyone else.   

I feel for Jax in all this.  Once again, he comes out on the losing end of the Sonny/Woman tug o war.  Jax has always seemed to respect Carly – to see her as a person in her own right.  With him – she might have had a chance to have a life of dignity.  Her boys might have had a chance to grow up seeing a marriage where *both* spouses were treated with dignity.   Instead – they will grow up seeing the woman as the lesser of partners – the one who must do what is asked, the one who has no real rights or feelings.  And they may very well grow up to do the same to their wives some day. 

Oh joy.  That’s what we as viewers have to look forward to!  Michael throwing crystal, and Morgan telling Jason & Liz’s daughter “You’re DEAD to me!” because she dared to defy him.  Or disagree with him.  Yeah. That’s captivating TV. 

I wonder – if Jason & Elizabeth’s baby is indeed a daughter – will he then finally see her as a person?  Or will she also just be someone who must do what is needed – whether it hurts her or not?