April 22, 2008

Change!! Does any one really change? We might grow and accept other things in our lives and environment but I don't think our inner thoughts and ways really change. I recently came back from NY. I had a great time going to a cousin's son's wedding. I didn't stay in a hotel. I was lucky enough to stay with my brother and sister-in-law on the same block where I lived until we moved to Las Vegas. Without being a snob or being crude, my observation was that New Yorkers are a different breed. In a very smart and good way, they are Street Smart. Most of the people can size you up and spit you out (if they choose to) before saying HELLO. One of the funniest things that happened, and not once but twice, was that upon entering or leaving the apartment building, I met two people who I had been close to when I lived there. Our sons are relatively the same age, so we did play dates and birthday parties etc.  Of course, 24 years later we aren't friends but we aren't enemies either. Just life moves on. Each of the these women saw me almost 8 years ago when I was in NY for my father's funeral. My physical appearance has changed a great deal... to say the least. We bumped into the first lady when we parked the car in the garage. We were entering the building to go into the elevator to go to my brother and sister in law's apartment. I said, "Hi Dena." She answered very coldly, "Oh hi." I forgot that I looked different. To me, I am still the same. I kept walking and it then dawned on me that maybe she didn't know who I was. She whispered to my sister-in-law, "Who is that?" And Susan replied, "Maxine." Dena ran back to give me a hug and we caught up for a few minutes. The next time it happened Susan and I were at the local diner and we met Hazel. I said, "Hi Hazel." She said, "Hi." Then I realized she too had no clue So I said, "Hazel, you have no clue who I am." In which she replied, " You look familiar." So I told her who I was and she was dumbfounded. Neither one has changed in their attitude. Not that it's a bad attitude. Change is rare.

My brother is ready to move. They have lived in this apartment for 32 years. They planned on staying only 2 years and 30 years later, he is ready. I think he has been ready for a long time. My sister-in-aw is comfortable there. She cannot handle change at all. If the bus schedule changes, she worries about it until she masters it. If the grocery store closed down, she worries where will she shop. The laundry room just went from quarters and change to a form of a credit card. It took her three weeks to get it right. She does her best and I am not here knocking her, but change isn't her best quality. She has a heart of gold, but will not give into what my brother wants to do. His plan is to move where there is a doorman, a new rebuilt kitchen with plenty of counter space and bathrooms. Two large bedrooms and a terrace. At their present location, they have none of this. I am not unhappy where I live, but I almost told him, I would move there <G> The sad part of this equation is that I am sure he is going to find a place and buy it with or without her approval. Again, he hasn't changed. And there will be fireworks in that household. They will come to a compromised conclusion. And the beauty of it all is that I live here in Vegas and that hasn't changed.

The wedding was beautiful. My cousin, the mother of the groom, was in her glory. The bride and the groom and all the players of the wedding party were just beaming. What a nice way to spend a Sunday afternoon. I relived my son's wedding while watching her son walk down the aisle.


My brother and I spent Friday and Monday together. It was so neat to be with him and hang out. He works for the Principal's Union of the school district. He planned his schedule so we went to the grammar school we both attended, the two Junior High Schools (we are so old that it was called Junior High not Middle School) we attended. We didn't get to the High Schools but like I told him, "High School wasn't my most memorable moment in time."  It was loads of fun and I actually remember many of the "landmarks" in each school. I truly enjoyed just being with him. One of my nieces came up to their apartment in Yonkers and we spent some quality time. I got to see my friend Gail and some of her children and grandchildren for an entire day. All in all, a wonderful trip. I will always be grateful for having this opportunity.

The block in Yonkers hasn't changed. My family hasn't changed and most of all I haven't changed. Maybe that's a good thing. Embracing the past and relishing the present is rewarding. However, grabbing that brass ring is paramount. Never say NO to a new experience...

Here is the motley crew.. me, my brother Steve and my sister-in-law Susan gussied up for the wedding.

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