For the Week of June 16, 2008


Look, I worked at this hospital. In fact, I ran the joint for a while, so I know all about professional courtesy. Don't ever talk that way to me in front of a patient again. Ever.”

When Jake left Pine Valley, he was hypocritical (well, he is a Martin after all)but he was not an ass. True there was that sex-capade in the Fusion supply closet, but compared to his older brothers’ behavior, that was minor league ass behavior.

Working in Darfur would understandably change a person. I expected Jake to return a lot wiser and perhaps more than bit cynical. I did not expect the returning Jake to challenge Tad for the title “Oldest Adolescent in Pine Valley.

Jake’s and Frankie’s conversations have been filled with regret and sad acceptance about both the things they had seen and the things they had done. How could viewers not feel compassion while listening to them?

This week my compassion for Jake struggled mightily with my desire to ground him until he learns to treat others with respect. In addition, no Martin world famous coffee cake for him until he apologizes to Angie.

Care to know how silly I am? I am so silly that I expected Angie to chastise Jake for speaking to her like that in front of a patient. What was I thinking? Angie is a more experienced doctor and head of department, but Jake is a Martin.

“In fact, I ran the joint for awhile.” Yes, you did Jake, for about twelve minutes. As I recall your last name had a whole lot to do with you getting the job. Then again, I am (happily) not a Martin so my memory may be a bit defective.

Jake’s comment bothered me in a couple of other ways, too. It is reminiscent of JR bragging about what a rich and powerful man he is. Would you be that without your rich and powerful bio-father standing behind you, JR? Jake’s tone was also that of a son who claims his father’s hard won power as his own and knows his daddy will back him up if anyone dares to disagree.

Then there was the language and the delivery. “I ran the joint for awhile.” Wow, Jake what a cool ass dude thing to say. I could not decide if Jake was trying to establish his identity as a big city punk with street cred or was auditioning for “The Rat Pack: A New Generation.”

“so, I know all about professional courtesy.” Well, at least Jake’s sense of humor remains intact.

If Jake truly wants to be cool, he should look to Jesse for inspiration. Jesse working the JR/Richie case was awesome to behold. Jesse is cool without arrogance. Jesse is smart without being pedantic. Jesse responds to Angie’s needs and concerns without a trace of condescension. I think I have a crush on Jesse.

Awkward segue.

There were quicktears during the Tad/Kathy scenes. Let me rephrase, there were quicktears during part of the Tad/Kathy scenes. I got misty during their prayer to Julia. (Clearly, that was as close to an onscreen memorial service as she is going to get.) I actually was surprised at my non-reaction while Tad was explaining things to Kathy. True, Tad is not my favorite character but parent/child interactions always get to me. Maybe it was the way Tad never mentioned Kathy’s relationship to the Santos family. Maybe because in spirit it sounded a bit too much like my comment from last week, Well, jiggies, Kate, umm, Kathy, see it’s like this, parents are just like purses…”< /I> Or maybe it was because Tad told Kathy he would never lie to her (although it was the funniest thing he has said in years). The whole dynamic felt false to me. 

There was nothing false about Adam’s talk with Kathy:

“I know it's bad news. It's hard. It's really hard. This reminds me of somebody that -- that I knew once. Somebody that I was -- was very, very special to me. I didn't know it was possible to care about somebody as much as I cared about her. She made me happy. When I was sad, she'd make me laugh or -- or smile or to just -- she took care of me. She was my whole world. I couldn't imagine life without her. And then I lost her, way, way too soon -- way before I was able to tell her how much I really loved her. Way before I was -- I was ready to let her go, which wasn't fair. I was so sad I -- I just cried and cried, cried, cried. I thought I'd never stop crying. But I did. It hurt, you know? It hurt right here. I didn't think it was possible to be so full of sadness that your heart actually ached, but it did.”

The writing coupled with Mr. Canary’s delivery was perfect. Adam did not talk down to Kathy. Adam showed his vulnerable side that, in turn, allowed Kathy to feel safe with him. I choose to think Adam was talking about his sister Charlotte, not Krystal. (True, the fact that the second anniversary of my brother’s death is just days away might have something to do with my Charlotte assertion. Nevertheless, isn’t it when soaps touch on real human emotion that we love them the most?)

What else. What else.

“A little less drama would be good for both of us but then the only kind of energy the writers seem to be able to write for us is negative energy.” OK, so that is not exactly what Zach said.

I was having déjà vu many times over during the Greenlee/Ryan diner scene. The diner resembled the Arizona hotel room where Tad and Brooke stayed during their search for Maria. The booths reminded me of the seating in PVU’s students lounge. It also bore a startlingly resemblance to Ryan’s pit stop on the way to Halifax. For a moment, I thought Greenlee and Ryan had motorcycled to Canada. Too bad they didn’t because then they could have rescued Joe and Ruth’s front porch.” Oh, look, Ruthie, not only did we get a new granddaughter, but we got our front porch back, too!”

“I’m sorry, are you here in a professional capacity, or are you just here to prove that you are a rude nine year old?” OK, so that is not exactly what Angie said to Jake.

“Once I’m gone there won’t be anyone in the house to check your smile ratio.”  The Jack/Lily scene touched my heart. It reminded me that Jack can be a good, not enabling, parent. In addition, it reminded me how much I like Lily. Unfortunately, it also reminded me about the travesty that was Ava.

“Greenlee is not the problem, it’s you.” Kendall, if ever there was a time to listen to your mother, this is it.

“Have I told you how proud I am to be your brother?” Annie and Richie could have been a great demonic and dynamic brother/sister team. What a waste.

“Your soul is actually worth something.” I know it is not nice to want to punch a heavenly spirit but then when have I ever claimed to be nice?

“If you ever come after Kendall or hurt Greenlee in any way, I’ll hurt you. And don’t think I can’t- I’ve been reading Tad’s new book, “The Dummies Guide to Burying People Alive.” Well, that is what I heard Zach say. In my head.

“You let that little girl know she’s a Martin.” Way to give a little girl nightmares, Joe.

“And he buried Greenlee and Zach alive.”  In all likelihood, Richie will be charged with a felony for that one. (Remember: he is not a Martin.)

“Your road to redemption is long, I know, but not as long as Tad’s.” Well, that’s what Dixie, guardian of all that is true and noble and right, should have said.

 Krystal told Adam that she is sticking with Tad. Then why did she put more effort into her appearance for Adam than she ever does for Tad? Damn, Krystal was looking fine.

“You let her think it was Zach. Classy.” For a moment there, I liked Ryan. Really, really liked Ryan.

“Damn it, Greenlee. When are you going to butt out of our marriage?” For this statement alone, I love Annie. If only Kendall had the gumption to say the exact same thing to Greenlee. And mean it. And not care what Zach’s reaction would be.

“You’re not clumsy, you’re a liar.” Listen up, Randi, self-awareness will get you nowhere in this town. Remember, you have been warned.

“I didn’t tell you ‘cause it’s none of your business.” If Zach cannot really forgive Kendall, he should leave until he can. Treating her like an outsider in her own life is cruel. Showing her disrespect in her own home is juvenile and sets a bad, bad example for their sons.

“Greenlee. I can’t stop thinking about her.”   Thinking about Greenlee is one thing, Kendall, telling Zach you cannot stop thinking about her is another. I have this nightmare where both Slaters are thinking about Greenlee while they are having sex.

“I speak infant and I distinctly heard him ask for his Uncle Josh.” Josh is as adorable as his nephews, but in a grown up sexy kind of way.

Dixie spent all her time in our reality tormenting Adam and taking little celestial jaunts with Tad. Not once did she choose to appear to her son. Yep, that is some mother you have there, JR.

“Ryan Junior.” On the down side, there would be another Lavery in town. On the bright side, stock in clown nose companies would soar. I’ve got my broker on speed dial, how about you? (Remember, if you are arrested for insider trading, you did not hear this from me.)

Will this week’s spoilers give us the urge to take a road trip to Canada instead of watching AMC? Let’s see.

One Novak marks her territory while another feels his territory getting smaller.

Greenlee is surprised to find Annie waiting in the penthouse for her.

Somehow, I am not surprised to learn that Annie can pick locks.

Annie tells Greenlee to stay away from her husband.

Greenlee will undoubtedly take this as a challenge to spend even more time with Ryan. There is nothing Greenlee likes better than spending time with another woman’s husband. Oh wait, I forgot about Zach. Let me rephrase, there is nothing Greenlee likes better than spending time with other women’s husbands.

Annie tells Ryan about her insecurities. Ryan takes her in his arms and carries her to the bedroom, presumably for sex.

Part of me hopes the fertility shots work. Watching Greenlee be totally pissed about Annie carrying Ryan’s baby would delight me no end.

Zach remembers Richie running him down. Zach also remembers Richie slamming the shelter’s cover shut.

If only Zach would also remember the many reasons he should not be Greenlee’s BFF.

Zach threatens to kill Richie unless he confesses to his many crimes.

This could be interesting only if they both get hot and sweaty. I mean really hot and sweaty. Throw in a little Jell-O and I’m there.

Meanwhile, over at the PVPD Treena gives her statement about Richie’s dastardly deeds.

“Well, first he made me dress up in someone else’s trashy clothes; I think he said her name was Babe. Then he made me spray on some foul smelling Fusion perfume. I think it’s called, “My Rates Are Reasonable.”

In an effort to prove that he stole JR’s bone marrow, Angie takes a DNA sample from Richie.

Remember Richie’s nightmare where JR told him, “I’m in you, Richie, even an orderly couldn’t pull me out”? I guess JR meant his bone marrow and not the bone I thought he meant.

Evidence against him is piling up but Richie refuses to crack under the pressure.

That’s my boy!

Richie tells Annie she is paying his bail. The Novak siblings come to an understanding. Annie will pay his bail. In return, Richie will kill Greenlee. OK, so I made up the last part.

Well, a girl can dream, can’t she?

Kendall thinks she has convinced Zach to not seek revenge on Richie.

Poor Kendall is delusional in believing she can talk Zach out of anything. After all, who does she think is, his BFF Greenlee?

Speaking of Zach’s BFF:

Over at the penthouse, Aidan feels heartened when Greenlee agrees to let him grovel at her feet talk to him.

It takes so little to make Spotted Dick happy. It’s really kind of sad.

Josh shows up to retrieve his unused condoms. Being a crackerjack investigator, Aidan realizes Greens and Josh had sex.

Of course, I made the first part up. Do you really think that a night with Josh would leave any condom unused? In reality, Josh is there to retrieve his cufflinks. Oh, Josh wears French cuffs. Sigh.

Aidan asks Greenlee if they have a future. Greenlee replies they can be friends. Aidan kisses Greenlee.

Whoa, there, Spotted Dick, I do not think Greenlee meant friends with benefits.

Greenlee heads over to the Yacht Club where she runs into Jack. She is startled when her father suggests that she give Aidan another chance.

Oh, Jack, you can only postpone, not prevent, the inevitable. Someday you will once again be cursed blessed by having Ryan as a son-in-law.

Greenlee decides to take a walk so she can think about her father’s advice. She runs into Ryan. Quelle surprise!

These “cute” run-ins are getting on my nerves.

The Hubbards struggle with some tough decisions.

Angie remains adamant that Jesse not become the new Police Chief.

And no one does adamant better than Angie.

Jesse decides to become PVU’s Professor of Criminology instead of returning to the PVPD.

I imagine a plethora of female students will be changing their majors to criminology, how about you?

Frankie and Cassandra are concerned, and rightly so, that Jesse will not find academia satisfying.

I like seeing the kids being concerned about Jesse. Speaking of academia, why not have Greg become professor of something, anything at PVU?

Frankie reaches out to Randi but she refuses his help. Later Frankie decides to take stroll by the piers where he finds a badly beaten Randi.

Randi’s story might be more interesting than it first appeared.

Other stuff happens, too.

Tad offers to turn over the private dicking agency to Aidan.

At first glance, that seems generous but not too long ago didn’t Tad tell Kyrstal that the agency barely provided him with a living wage?

Turns out that JR planted the story about Adam being committed. Adam knows the truth but decides not to play his hand just yet.

Most likely, JR thinks he bested his father. It’s pathetic really.

Kendall and JR take the first tentative steps towards rebuilding their friendship.

This makes me happy despite their rocky, almost fatal, past. I always enjoyed their friendship, with or without benefits.

Sam and Jack head up river to watch Erica’s new show.

“Hey, Sam, what do you think? Lonely women, prison, what’s not to love about that?”

Here’s to another week in the Valley!

Kate's AMC Spoiler Archives For 2008

June 9, 2008

May 26, 2008

May 19, 2008

May 12, 2008

May 2, 2008

April 28, 2008

April 21, 2008

March 31, 2008

March 24, 2008

March 17, 2008

February 25, 2008

February 18, 2008

February 11, 2008

February 4, 2008

January 28, 2008

January 21, 2008

January 14, 2008

January 7, 2008


Kate's AMC Spoiler Archives For 2007