For the Week of June 23, 2008


“Isn’t it when soaps touch on real human emotion that we love them the most?”

                                                                      Last week’s column


Here I am quoting myself . Such hubris! Or maybe it is laziness because I could not think of any other way to begin this week’s column. Between Adam’s monologue last week about losing his sister and the Hubbards' argument this week, it is clear that a wave of verisimilitude has swept through parts of Pine Valley.

Few things could make me happier.

The Hubbards argument made me feel like I was spying on my neighbors. (Not that I ever spy on my neighbors. No need to take out another restraining order.)

It was unrealistic to believe the Hubbards’ honeymoon would last forever. Absence may make the heart grow fonder but it can also cause deep resentment/anger. No long-term separation is easy on a relationship, whether it is a month, a year, TWENTY years or, based on my own experience, approximately seventy percent of the past seven years. Reunions are romantic and fun and feel like dating. Eventually the rush of reunion ends and real life rears its oft-times ugly head.

Being a widow made Angie angry. Being a single mother made Angie angry. Losing all the dreams and hopes of a life with Jesse made Angie angry. Angie already knows what it is like to lose everything. It is no wonder she wants to keep Jesse and their life together as safe as possible.

Jesse, too, had dreams about what his life would be. He loved Angie and Frankie. He believed that he would spend each and every day being a loving husband and father. Jesse believed each and every day would be spent doing what he loved to do, being a cop.

Angie lost her dreams, has now regained them, and fears losing them again. Jesse lost his dreams, too. It is understandable that Jesse now wants to grab hold and run with them.

Angie is both right and wrong. Jesse is both right and wrong. That is what made their argument wonderfully realistic.

They respect each other. They are struggling to understand each other. They have not threatened to leave each other. They each still have a sense of humor, even if Jesse’s is more fully developed than Angie’s.

Arguing about a spouse’s job is realistic. Struggling with day-to-day life is realistic. What makes this realistic, yet not depressing? The actors’ chemistry. Debi Morgan and Darnell Williams repeatedly amaze me. I had been concerned that their return would fail as miserably as other actors/characters returns have. All my doubts have now been laid to rest.

I have just one question: who is writing for the Hubbards and why aren’t they writing for the rest of AMC?

OK, I admit that was a bit harsh. The Hubbards’ moments were not the only good ones in town.

Kendall: “Are you telling me to grow up?”

Josh: “Pretty much.”

Kendall and Josh have a wonderful sibling dynamic.  Truth be told, I like their relationship better than Kendall’s relationship with Bianca. In fantasy, since becoming adults, their sisterly relationship is perfect. More often than not, Kendall has been there for Bianca, and Bianca, well, umm, that is where the fantasy breaks down. It all started when Babe moved to town. More than once, Bianca chose Babe over Kendall. During the fateful Florida trip, Kendall stumbled on Babe’s byzantine plot to take a baby –to- be- named later and run. Binks threatened to disown Kendall if she told JR the truth. Later on, Babe asked Binks’ advice about her reward-for-kidnapping Fusion stocks; should Babe sell the stocks to make work life easier for Kendall, or not? Binks replied that Kendall could take care of herself. F inally, I could be wrong, but more often than not, didn’t Bianca take Ryan’s side over her sister’s?

Not that Josh is perfect. He has pulled the “do what I say or you are not my sister” card. On the other hand, Josh does not have as many reasons to be loyal to Kendall as Bianca does. Kendall never stood trial for murder in order to protect Josh. True, Kendall has accepted her mother’s aborted abortion as her brother, but that is not in the same league as risking the death sentence.

Josh and Kendall have come to love each other equally. Now if only Josh’s screen time equaled Kendall’s.

“Don’t you want to talk it over with someone like me?”

 Krystal’s and Tad’s scene was realistic. With one line Bobbie Eakes conveyed Krystal’s desire to stay calm as well as her suppressed anger and hurt. Later in the scene, she expressed, without saying a word, Krystal’s growing awareness of who her husband really is. I dislike Krystal as much as ever, but I have an increased appreciation for Ms. Eakes’ talent. Oh, and what did Tad do that was realistic? He behaved like the self-centered ass he is, that is what.

“I’ve made mistakes in my life, especially the one with you.”

There are many things to hold against Megan McTavish, one of them is destroying JR and Kendall’s friendship. With or without benefits, it was interesting. And it made sense. How could Adam’s son and Erica’s daughter not be friends?  A Kane/Chandler alliance would be unstoppable. After all, the Kanes and the Chandlers have much in common. Not only do self-made powerhouses head both families but  both families are often held accountable for their actions. Here’s hoping we get to see more of JR and Kendall’s fledgling détente.

Yes, many good enjoyable things happened this week. Alas, many things still rankled.

“The thing is Ryan, this isn’t me. I’m not that girl.”

Sadly, Annie, you are that girl. In fact, you have to be that girl so we can have one more reason to see Greenlee as a victim. Not to mention making us see that Greens and Ryan are a coupling made in heaven. We are supposed to think your feelings towards Greenlee are crazy, even though she has demonstrated repeatedly that she has no respect for your marriage. Clearly, you were being paranoid when Ryan chose a motorcycle ride with Greens over keeping a date with you. Clearly, your history as being one of the more adult women in PV has to be undone because it is the quickest way to the Ryan/Greenlee endgame.

Is there anyone who does not think Richie is going to be dead by the end of July? It’s too bad, because I enjoy Richie. I do not like the things he has done (except for duping Babe, that was a lot of fun to watch). For me, not a liking a character’s actions often has little effect on my feelings about a character (see:Hayward,David). Richie was, still is, a bit of a mystery. His presence made Annie a bit of a mystery, too. Who really pushed Dad out of the window? Why is Mr. Novak afraid of both his children? What was Annie’s real motivation for perjury? Why did their mother commit suicide, if, indeed, it  was a suicide?

 Why couldn’t  Richie have turned out to be the result of Joe’s drunken one night stand at a medical convention? C’mon, wouldn’t it be fun watching the Martins scrambling around trying to pin Richie’s many crimes on Adam? The Novaks could have been storytelling gold but, alas, their days are numbered.

What else. What else.

“Amazing how a little blackmail can squeeze the truth out of a man.” Barry Shire, how I have missed you.

“Come here often?” Aidan demonstrated great aplomb in making an awkward situation less so.

“I want a father who doesn’t lie and who doesn’t hurt people.” And what fun would that be, Colby?

“I discovered a problem with your CT. Turns out you have no brain to stimulate.” OK, that was a cheap joke, but when has that ever stopped me?

 “If you are picking on Erica that can only mean one thing- that you want to talk about anything but yourself.” Poor deluded Jack. What that really means is that Greenlee wants you to think she does not want to talk about herself so that you will beg her to talk about herself.

“It would be interesting to hear what Enid Nelson said about that.” I am hoping one day that we will see Enid falling off her barstool at the Yacht Club or, even better, at Hazel’s place.

“(Krystal) we are partners in everything except for the unilateral decisions I make about our life together.” Well, that is what Tad meant, didn’t he?

Does Annie’s secret key mean she is surprising Ryan with a chastity belt? For him.

“DNA evidence can be rigged and if I am not mistaken you and your mother are experts at that.” No wonder Richie has to die, he spoke the truth about Babe and Krystal.

“I’m sure there is a perfect woman out there. I’m just not sure a perfect man exists.” JR is rapidly working his way back into my good graces.

“You’re the best fish and chips I ever had.” Obviously, Tad and Aidan’s relationship was more intimate than we thought.

“Well, if it isn’t the White Knight, himself.” Greenlee is not the wee bit jealous about Ryan and Annie’s relationship, is she?

“You’re sorry about being a jackass? Well, what about being a kidnapper like me? Or a murderer like Tad?” Well, that is what I heard Babe say. In my head.

“I’d like to focus on how I am going to make him suffer.” Well, Adam, you can always insist that JR cut all his ties to the Chandler family and become a real Martin. Talk about cruel and unusual punishment.

“I just don’t know how to stop the anger.”  Perhaps beating Greenlee to a pulp would help. Don’t worry about getting caught, Annie, I will happily supply an alibi.

“Dad will do anything for me. Besides he’s family. Just like us.” Don’t you think the Novak family bears an interesting resemblance to the Borgia family?

Why was Krystal wearing the same blue dress that my mother wore in 1959? It was unflattering at best. I would love to see Opal in that dress. I bet she would style it as an homage to Douglas Sirk.

“He (Richie) screws up lives. He ruins everything. He’s just like me.” Well, that is what I heard Greenlee say. In my head.

“(I want to go) somewhere where I don’t feel so completely and utterly stupid.” Anyone want to contribute to the “Let’s Send Babe Somewhere Where She Doesn’t Feel So Completely and Utterly Stupid” fund? (I doubt there is a place like that, but who cares where we send her, as long as it is far, far away.)


Will this week’s spoilers have us longing for a White Knight to ride in and rescue us or not? Let’s see.

None of the Hubbards are on a honeymoon this week.

Chuck sits by Donna’s Randi’s bedside until she is taken into surgery.

Anyone else wondering exactly how much Frankie and Randi’s story will be a replay of the Chuck and Donna’s saga? For example, will Randi become a nightclub singer? Will she marry Palmer? Inquiring minds want to know.

Chuck Frankie refuses to believe that Randi is a prostitute.

He changes his mind when she charges him $20 for holding his hand.

Randi admits the truth. Jesse decides to set a trap for her pimp. He tries to convince Angie that it is just a lab exercise for his criminology students.

Yes, I made the last part up, but wouldn’t it be fun watching Jesse trying to convince Angie that it’s the truth?

Watching Jesse set a trap for Billy Clyde Tuggle Randi’s pimp forces Angie to admit that his true calling is being a police officer. Jesse becomes PVPD’s new Police Chief.

Let’s hope he gets to solve at least two cases during the next year. I’ll settle for one, but two would be really nice.

Angie and Jesse express concern about Frankie’s growing attachment to Randi.

Angie and Jesse, trust me, it could be worse. He could be forming an attachment to Greenlee. Of course, it could be better; he could be forming an attachment to Amanda.

The Slater/Smythe/Devane/Lavery/Novak gang has a busy week.

When Aidan flirts with her, Greenlee realizes she still has feelings for him. She runs away.

Well, Greenlee a Spotted Dick addiction is not any easy thing to break. Maybe you should join Spotted Dicks Anonymous.

Greenlee is nowhere to be found. Annie insists that she must be with Ryan. Kendall thinks Annie is seeking trouble where there is none.

Kendall suggest Annie try out the new Fusion nail color, Paranoia is Passé Purple.

Meanwhile, Greenlee takes Ryan on a surprise boat ride. They share their most secret secrets.

Annie creates a body wash for Greenlee. She calls it Dead Meat. Sure, it stinks but it does make its point.

Greenlee decides to prove that she can be just friends with a man. She asks Jake to move in with her. Jake turns her down.

I am just relieved that she did not ask Zach to move in with her.

After Richie disappears, Jake changes his mind and moves in with Greenlee to “protect” her.

Let’s just hope that Jake doesn’t forget to wear protection while “protecting” Greens.

Aidan asks Jake to keep an eye on Greenlee.

All things considered, Aidan might as well have said, “’ave at her, mate.”

During his arraignment, Richie brings up Annie’s previous perjury. He is released on bail.

It is so damn annoying when past felonies rise up and bite you, isn’t it?

No mere monitoring ankle bracelet can stop Richie Novak! Zach and Ryan search for the missing Richie but instead they find an unconscious Annie.

Oh, those Novak kids and their crazy games.

Zach thinks Annie is not quite telling the truth.

Well, who in Pine Valley does, Zach? Let’s see there’s Myrtle. And then there’s Myrtle. Oh, yeah and then there’s Myrtle.

Speaking of Myrtle, she tries to convince Zach that personally punishing Richie is the wrong thing to do.

Each time Myrtle appears, I feel as if I’ve been given a special gift.

Richie spies on the Fusion babes.

Please tell me they are not pole dancing again. Please!

Other stuff happens, too.

Adam tries to secure Colby’s stock votes by giving her a new car and keys to a cabin for her birthday.

If Colby gives Tad her proxies, I either going to lock her in the cabin or send her car, with her inside, over a cliff. Or recast her again.

Tad realizes that Kathy misses not-her-real-mother Julia. He tries to cheer her up.

“Don’t be sad. Soon you will be having so much fun that you won’t miss not-your-real-mother at all. Grandma Ruth will teach you how to make the world famous Martin coffee cake. Grandma Opal will teach how to read the Tarot and how to shop for vintage clothes. Grandpa Joe will teach you all the finer points of hypocrisy. Oh, and the woman-I-don’t-love-nearly-as-much-as-I-loved-your-real-real-real mother who gave you up for adoption will teach you how to be a bar wench. You life will be so full, you will barely have time to remember that people used to call you Kathy.”

For some inexplicable reason Sam and Erica get locked in solitary confinement together. Sam has fantasies about a 3-way with Erica and her special Ladybug.

If only Sam was, let’s face it, if only Sam was interesting.

Erica blackmails Adam into giving Carmen a job at Casa Chandler.

Erica and Adam scenes are always a joy. Maybe Barry and Carmen will become besotted with one another.

Erica’s new cellmate spells T.R.O.U.B.L.E.

For her next trick she spells E.R.I.C.A’S   M.Y.  B.I.T.C.H . Hilarity ensues.

Here’s to another week in the Valley!

Kate's AMC Spoiler Archives For 2008

June 16, 2008

June 9, 2008

May 26, 2008

May 19, 2008

May 12, 2008

May 2, 2008

April 28, 2008

April 21, 2008

March 31, 2008

March 24, 2008

March 17, 2008

February 25, 2008

February 18, 2008

February 11, 2008

February 4, 2008

January 28, 2008

January 21, 2008

January 14, 2008

January 7, 2008


Kate's AMC Spoiler Archives For 2007