For the Week of July 14, 2008

“… apparently, some of you Pine Valleyites around here consider the cops to be a what? An annoyance? Well, let me just tell you this. I'm here to change that little nasty attitude.”

Oh, Jesse, good luck with that idea. Each of the three Dereks said some variation of your pronouncement, but with little result. On the other hand, if anyone can change the longstanding attitude towards the PVPD it is you.  Quickly solving Richie’s murder would be a good start. I hope you understand that you will be solving that crime with little help from anyone, except maybe the PVPD. (Changing the PVPD from incompetent to competent will be another challenge for Jesse.)

A guilty person would understandably try to cover her tracks. What is not quite so understandable is the number of people who obstruct an investigation, especially when they have nothing to gain except the chance to act toy with the police. As an example, I offer Zach Slater and Edmund Grey’s murder. My feelings towards Zach were neutral until he confessed to the murder. His confession would have been a good thing had he killed Edmund, but he did not. His sole motivation was getting back at Maria. For a brief moment, Maria dared to think Zach might be the culprit and for that, she had to pay. Zach confessed and the PVPD closed the investigation. Only problem was that the real killer, Jonathan Lavery, was still running around terrorizing and killing people.

The only thing Zach’s confession accomplished was displaying his large streak of arrogance, which is not his best quality. Zach does have many fine qualities, which is why I have grown to like him over the years.

Unfortunately, Zach is toying with the police once again. If not for the previous incident, I could believe Zach was trying to protect someone he loved. OK, so that is part of his motivation. Still, it will be amusing when Zach realizes that he is not toying with Jesse so much as Jesse is toying with him. Ryan has never been a worthy opponent. Zach is about to discover that Jesse is more than capable of besting him.


“It’s not about me. It’s about my father. My last name. Who I used to be.”

“Look at this. I’m doing like seven jobs at once.”

“ How can you put up with it? I mean it, Babe. Kendall asked you to run the entire operation when she needed you to. Where is the gratitude?”

“ Yeah, yeah, right. Don't you know how Fusion works? While the rest of us slave away, the bosses are off doing who the hell knows what?”

Don’t you agree that Babe and JR are a perfect pair? A perfect pair of whiny pissants.

JR, if being a Chandler is such a great detriment then walk away from the money and the power. Since having Adam as a father is such a burden, change your last name to “Martin” and be done with it.

Grow a pair, little boy. Strike out on your own and create something that is all yours.  

Babe passed her GED but her vocabulary still needs some work. Clearly, she does not understand what the word “bosses” means. Babe, dear, “bosses” means the people who own your ass for the better part of the day and pay you for it. I do understand this is a difficult concept for you to grasp since your last gig allowed you to set both your hours and your hourly rate but you really need to get with the program. These days most employees do seven, eight, or twelve jobs at once. It is not unusual for an employee to do her boss’ job from time to time. The thanks you get is your paycheck. If you are unhappy at Fusion, why not look for another job? I am certain you could reclaim your old territory on that pier in San Diego.

I know it’s a stretch, Babe, but be honest for a moment. During your brief tenure as part owner, you spent about as much time in the office as Greenlee and Kendall spend now. Back then, Amanda and Simone did most of the work. Amanda still does most of the work. If anyone deserves a raise and stock options, it is Amanda.

Now JR, using his father’s money, wants to buy Fusion for Babe. Or does he really want Fusion for its distribution contracts? Does anyone care?

“Talking doesn't help. I'm just a P.I. not Special Ops of the heart. So all I have is this. You're the woman I love now and always. I wish I were the man you could love always, too." 

Sigh. Who cares if the cue card scene was lifted from “Love Actually”? It was the sweetest thing to happen in months. Has there ever been a sweeter Spotted Dick? For the first time, Aidan and Greenlee felt like a couple. They seemed invested in each other. Of course, they won’t last-mixed relationships seldom do. And by mixed relationship, I mean one between a front burner character and a mid to back burner one.


What else. What else.

“I’m a grown man, why are you acting like this?” Oh, I don’t know, Frankie, maybe because it’s your mother’s house? Moreover, sweet, sweet Franklin, shouldn’t a grown man have his own apartment? At the very least, couldn’t you have sprung for a hotel room?

“You know what happens when people confess? They go to prison.” Don’t worry about that, Cassie. You live in Pine Valley now.

Where’s Josh?

“.. lose her mind like she almost did when she lost Jenny?” Babe was completely justified in being self-righteous towards Adam. After all, she has never pushed a mother to the edge of insanity by keeping her child from her. Oh, wait…

“She’s home safe. Instead of being glad you just can’t give it a rest.” Adam just cannot win can he? He is wrong when he does not show enough concern for his children and he is also wrong when he shows a very reasonable concern for his children.

Anyone seen Josh?

“Greenlee, you saved Babe’s life.” Yet another reason to dislike Greenlee.

Petey should be neither a tool nor a geek. I hope it turns out this persona is part of a scam he is running. I also hope seeks out his former nanny Kendall.

The Van Peebles rocked their scenes. Sometimes stunt casting does work.

“Richie Novak is dead because God knows evil when he sees it.” Following that logic, Krystal, why is Adam still alive? After all, he is evil personified, isn’t he?

“It’s like so country out here.” Maybe that is because it is the country, Cassie. This begs the question, why didn’t Cassie notice it was “so country” while they were driving up to the lodge?

Didn’t there used to be a character named Josh?

“Friends. Friends?” JR, most civilized people consider a person who risks her life to save yours to be, at the very least, a friend. Perhaps I mistook you for a civilized person.

You are pathetic and insane.” “Right back at you, sis.” The dynamic between siblings is really special, isn’t it?

It’s been hard to dodge the falling “Annie is Bad/Ryan Deserves Better” anvils. Annie lied about the break-in. Annie hasn’t told Ryan about the un-vasectomy. Annie is doing her best to become pregnant. She put up Richie’s bail in exchange for Richie getting Greenlee out of Ryan’s life. She cut a tied up Richie loose. She dealt Richie a fatal blow.  And now she has shifted suspicion from her to Zach. What’s next? Stealing Myrtle’s cocktail shaker? Poisoning Palmer’s Dobermans?

Will this week’s spoilers have us feeling pathetic and insane for tuning in or not? Let’s see:

Ryan’s memories return but they are not exactly what he, or anyone else, expected.

Ryan’s memories return as he rushes to save Greenlee.

He remembers that he knows absolutely nothing about steering a boat. He crashes on the world famous Pine Valley reefs. Well, it could happen.

While trying to revive an unconscious Greenlee, Ryan remembers how absolutely totally completely wonderful their life together was.

Obviously, not all of Ryan’s memory has been restored.

Ryan declares his love to an unconscious Greenlee.

If I were Greenlee, I’d sleep through that one, too.

Greenlee is rushed to PVH. When she awakes, she realizes that she loves Aidan.

Wow, talk about literally having the sense knocked into someone.

Ryan sadly watches the touching reunion between Greenlee and Spotted Dick.

Poor Ryan. He wants Greenlee but she doesn’t want him. Annie wants him but he doesn’t want her. Wouldn’t it have been more fun if Greenlee rejected Ryan so she could be with Annie?

Ryan remembers loving Emma but cannot remember ever having feelings for Annie. Ryan tells Annie his memories have returned but dances around revealing that he doesn’t remember loving her.

But what dance should he chose? The Paseo Doble? Too dramatic. The Tango? Too romantic. How about the Jive? Nothing like jive kicks to distract a girl.

Ryan tells Kendall his memories have returned. She guesses correctly that he is still in love with Greenlee. Ryan pleads with Kendall to keep the news to herself. Kendall being Kendall she does the opposite and decides to tell Greenlee the truth. She changes her mind when she sees Greenlee enjoying a serving of Spotted Dick.

Yes, that is a bit of an exaggeration. Kendall changes her mind when sees how happy Aidan and Greenlee are.

Annie’s week starts badly, gets worse, but then gets dramatically better.

Annie tells Greenlee to stay away from Ryan.

Can we just agree that this will be a spoiler every week for at least the next few weeks? Then I won’t have to type it every week and you won’t have to read it.

Memories of Richie haunt Annie.

They haunt me, too. All that potential wasted.

Zach shows Annie her engagement ring.

How can they get engaged? They are married to other people. Oh, wait, turns out Zach found her ring in a second hand jewelry store.

Annie confesses to Zach that she sold the ring to pay Richie’s bail.

Isn’t that what any sister would do?  Any sister who wants her violent brother to eliminate the competition, that is.

Zach keeps pressuring Annie to tell the truth. Annie passes out. Turns out Annie is pregnant. See, Annie’s week does end on a high note.

Remember when Janet thought that pregnant women could not be sent up the river? Ahh, those were the days.

One murder. Many theories.

Petey tells the new cool gang that he is positive there is blood on Colby’s birthday present’s fender.

I see those blackmailing circles turning in Petey’s head.

Adam warns Petey about what will happen if he implicates Colby in the hit and run.

I hope this leads to a Palmer/Adam showdown. How about you?

Colby refuses to let her friends take the blame for the accident.

That’s sweet, Colby, but isn’t Dre culpable? After all, he was driving the car.

All Adam can think about is protecting Colby, so he destroys her car.

He is rotten, I tell you, rotten. True, it wasn’t the “legal” thing to do but it was an understandable thing to do.

Guilt drives Colby to drink.

Please let her drink off camera . It’s too soon to make us endure another painful drunk scene. In fact, it may always be too soon.

Jesse and Zach pay a visit to the crime scene.

And let the toying begin.

An inconclusive autopsy report leads Jesse to another theory about Richie’s death. Jesse wants the coroner to take another look at the body. Unfortunately, Annie has had Richie cremated.

Poor Jesse. You have to get up pretty damn early in the morning to best a psycho Novak.

Other stuff happens, too.

Krystal is concerned about how Tad is dealing with Kathy.

As much as I dislike Krystal, and that’s quite a lot, she is the only person Tad takes seriously enough to listen to. Kathy needs someone looking out for her, even if that someone is Krystal.

Angie confronts Fletcher. Later, he is arrested on solicitation charges.

What can I tell you except that it is hard out here for a pimp.

Frankie wants to spend time with Randi, so he offers to pay her by the hour.

This is just not right. Chuck never had to pay Donna.

Sam rushes up river and tells Erica she is free! Free, I tell you, free!

Are we surprised or what?

Carmen asks Krystal’s advice about dealing with Adam.

Step away from the Careys, Carmen,step away. You will thank me later.

At her going away party, Erica is angry when someone cuts her with a knife.

Angry because the only one allowed to cut Erica is her plastic surgeon.

Here’s to another week in the Valley!

Kate's AMC Spoiler Archives For 2008

July 14, 2008

July 7, 2008

June 23, 2008

June 16, 2008

June 9, 2008

May 26, 2008

May 19, 2008

May 12, 2008

May 2, 2008

April 28, 2008

April 21, 2008

March 31, 2008

March 24, 2008

March 17, 2008

February 25, 2008

February 18, 2008

February 11, 2008

February 4, 2008

January 28, 2008

January 21, 2008

January 14, 2008

January 7, 2008


Kate's AMC Spoiler Archives For 2007