AMC Spoiler Commentary by Kate Brown

For the Week of July 21, 2008

Palmer!

Palmer! Pete(y)!

Palmer! Pete(y)! Adam!

AMC heaven. Their scenes were AMC heaven. Palmer and Adam lit up the screen. They are masters at the fine art of verbal fencing. They approach each other with confidence. Neither would admit it, but they approach each other with respect, too. Their scenes always crackle. Adam and Palmer are a great example of what soap adversaries should be.

Pete(y)’s presence helped define his character’s place in the Valley. This is a great example of how new or recast characters should be introduced. Pete(y) did not spend weeks hanging around with other newbies. In less than two weeks, he was spending time with core characters.

Whether or not he turns out to be a better son than JR remains to be seen. I hope so because one weaselly whiny scion is more than enough.

Adam blackmailing Pete(y) probably should have bothered me, but it didn’t. Why not? If their positions were reversed, Palmer would have done the very same thing.

“Good chatting with you, kid.” I cannot wait to see more Chandler/Cortlandt “chats.”

Those weren’t the only family scenes this week.

“Do you remember when your daddy told you that being your daddy, yours and Spike's, is the absolute best thing, without question, in the world? Yeah, I remember that, too. I remember that, too.”

This week the impossible happened. A Ryan scene triggered a quicktears moment. Cameron always plays well with children. This week his scenes with Emma were especially touching. Cameron did a good job of showing Ryan’s excitement without SHOUTING it from the rooftop. The amnesia story is terrible. I appreciate Cameron trying to make it watchable.

“Yeah. I -- I told her that I was -- that I'm excited that we're connecting again, and that I'm very, very proud of the man you're becoming. And I am.”

I am glad Samuel thinks he is connecting with Dre, but I don’t feel it. Dre came to town hiding out from his father. Sam came to town looking for him. Did I miss the follow up scenes featuring long conversations between the two? Was I napping during the scene where Samuel listened to his son’s music? How did I miss the scene where Dre got his friends to volunteer for his father’s campaign? Did my DVR skip over the scene where Sam chastised Dre for publicly protesting Erica’s arrest? In the scenes with his son, Samuel comes across as a politician spinning his spin for a potential voter. As for Dre, he always looks like the scene cannot end fast enough for him. I feel the same way.

“Well, Krystal loves you very much, too. She loves both of us, which means we're going to have to listen to her, even if we don't want to.”

Yep, Tad, you and Kathy are going to have to do what Krystal says, even when she is being a mean Mommy. Tad’s talk with Kathy demonstrated a level of immaturity that made my skin crawl. Maybe it crawled just a little, but it still crawled. Over the past 8 years, I have often talked about Tad’s immaturity, but his behavior this week was still a shock. Once we got past the “Mommy’s being mean to us” talk, there was Tad hanging at the pool. Not only was juvenile Tad tormenting swimmers with his motorized boats, he was whining about his playmate, Kathy, being at day camp. Didn’t Tad quit his job to spend more time with his kids? Last time I checked “kids” means more than one. Once again, I ask, what is Jenny? Chopped liver? At this rate, Jenny is going to need therapy as much as Lil’A is. Maybe they will be able to get a group rate. I would admonish T ad to grow up but he would just think I was being a mean Mommy, too.

Dead Richie taunting Annie was another fun family moment. At least I thought it was fun.

What else. What else.

“Forensics, they were able to lift tire tracks from Richie's clothes. He was run over.” Why did Jesse need the tire track evidence to prove someone ran Richie over? Shouldn’t that have been obvious from the autopsy? Why didn’t the autopsy report read, “the way the victim’s body was squished indicated it was squashed by a large moving vehicle, perhaps an automobile”?

“You could build Linden House II.” As exactly what, Jack? A tribute to Bianca’s fire starting skills?

“What would you do if Zach suddenly stopped remembering who you were?” Well, the first thing Kendall would do is become hysterical. The second thing she would do is stay hysterical.

“Real men wear pink.” If Aidan becomes anymore adorable, I am going to have pinch his cheeks. Both sets.

“That’s a fascinating story. Now can I have the real one?” Hasn’t Colby learned by now that no matter how early you get up in the morning, you cannot best Adam.

“Babe’s a sweetie.” When Carmen said that, I wanted to slap her. I am sorry but that is how I felt.

“(Barry)Listen, that new car I got for Colby? I want you to make it disappear. No, I mean disappear-gone, vanished, nada.” Barry’s talents obviously go beyond filing injunctions.

“I want to buy us a house.” Oh, Aidan, perhaps you should talk to Jack before taking any action. Jack bought Erica a house and look how that turned out.

“People like Papel ignore the law. Laugh at the system. Tear lives apart.” That was the perfect time for Tad to come clean about burying Madden. Regrettably, he just nodded in agreement.

What are two words I hoped to never hear again? “Green Butterfly.”

“You’re not going anywhere, bitch.” How many times do you think Brooke and Maria wanted to say those words to Erica?

“You and Krystal seem really happy.” Being intuitive has never really been Ryan’s strong suit, has it?

“Mr. Chandler is seriously intense and seriously scary.” Yes, Cassie, he is. Those are just two of things that make him intensely sexy.

Speaking of Cassie, she and Frankie need to spend more time at home. The farther away they get from Angie and Jesse, the less interesting they become.

“My Dad said you never let a woman down.” What can I say? When Sam is right, he’s right.

“We have certain choices. Everything is supposed to happen for a reason. Like when I chose to bury Madden.” Well, that’s what Tad said. In my head.

“OK, you got that out of your system. Now, what really happened?” Hasn’t Annie learned by now that no matter how early you get up in the morning, you cannot best Zach.

Annie pulling Greenlee’s hair was great. It’s about damn time someone did. She has deserved it for years, starting with the first time she called Bianca “Lesbianca”.

Will this week’s spoilers make us pull out our hair or not? Let’s see:

What can I say about PVH? The joint is jumping.

Angie listens as Jake explains his relationship with Colby. Or rather, how he was almost related to Colby. Angie gets a headache.

“ It’s like this, Ange, I had this gig doing chores at a woodland B&B. Nah, that’s going back too far. Liza wanted a baby without the daddy baggage. I’m a cool dude so I headed down to the sperm shack. 30 seconds later I was done. Adam was not cool with Liza’s womb being Martinized so he switched his boys for mine. We all thought Colby was mine but man, she turned out to be a Chandler. Not cool. So that’s when I blew this pop stand they call the Valley.” (I have not yet warmed to the too-cool-for-school version of Jake. At all.)

Amanda goes to the emergency room. Jake is assigned to her case. Ms. Dillon flirts shamelessly with him.

What is wrong with the men in PV? Why aren’t they beating a path to Amanda’s yacht to court her favor? She should not be trolling the ER for a date.

Frankie helps Randi fill out job applications.

I hope these jobs are in another city. I am sure that on paper Randi was an interesting character. On screen? Not so much.

Fletcher threatens Randi. Frankie finds him and beats up the pimp.

It is getting harder out here for a pimp, isn’t it? What can I say, Fletcher? You are no Billy Clyde Tuggle. I mean, really, can you picture Phoebe colluding with Fletcher?

Speaking of collusion, let’s head on over to Casa Chandler.

Adam tells Jesse that Colby’s birthday present was stolen before she even drove it. Krystal corroborates Adam’s story.

The thought of corroborating with Adam makes me more than a little warm.

Krystal promises to keep quiet about Colby’s actions on the night Richie died. Adam and Krystal seal their deal with a kiss.

I made up the last part, but we all know they were thinking about kissing to seal the deal.

Tad realizes that Krystal was Adam’s partner in crime.

Feeling a little emotionally cuckolded are you, Tad?

Tad is hurt when Krystal doesn’t tell him about lying to the police.

Exactly how hurt is Tad? He threatens to hold his breath until he turns blue.

Cassandra, Dre and Colby head over to the Yacht Club to forget their troubles.

Let’s just hope they do not run over anyone with their sailboat.

Colby tries to drown her guilt in vodka. Pete(y) grows concerned about his friend’s drinking.

Please, let this be the beginning of beautiful relationship. A Chandler/Cortlandt romance is long overdue.

Erica’s own “New Beginning” begins.

Jack takes Erica straight from prison to Samuel’s arms.

Not quite, but close enough.

Opal tells Sam that Jack and Erica always wind up together. While chatting away, Opal inadvertently tells Sam that Erica is attracted to him. This news surprises him.

Why is he surprised? Does he think Erica would kiss just anyone during a lockdown? Well, OK, maybe she would but he doesn’t know that.

Jack and Sam vie for Erica’s attention. While vying Sam realizes he is more attracted to Jack than to Erica.

Well, Sam does have more chemistry with Jack than he does with Erica.

Annie’s web of deception starts to unravel.

Annie overhears Dre, Cassie, and Colby talking about running Richie down.

It could have been worse. Jesse could have overheard them.

Annie installs a nanny cam. She asks Colby and Cassandra to babysit Emma. Annie hopes the cam will catch the girls talking about the accident.

Do you think Richie would be proud of Annie? I certainly do.

Ryan asks Annie about the nanny cam.

“We bought it about a year ago. Of course, you don’t remember installing it, because you have amnes… Damn it, Ryan, couldn’t you have waited to get your memory back until after I finished framing someone for Richie’s murder?”

Ryan is a little suspicious about Annie’s pregnancy.

Ahh, so he does remember the vasectomy he thinks he had. Whoa, talk about surprises.

Ryan is puzzled as to why his vasectomy failed. He asks Aidan to investigate.

“Well, bollocks. Don’t worry, mate, I promise to go balls out on this investigation.”

Here’s to another week in the Valley!