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For the week of Sept 18, 2006

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(Small) miracles do happen; four good things happened on AMC this week. We had Myrtle, Palmer, Marion and David scenes. Maybe we even got five good things this week; no Dixie at all was a good thing by omission wasn’t it? I clung to those good things while watching the rest of the now almost unwatchable AMC.  

Myrtle is always a delight, especially when paired with Zach. Palmer is a delight when paired with anyone but Krystal.  Marion “dahling” Chandler is always wonderful but why hasn’t she had scenes paired with her granddaughter Colby? A David and Julia scene would not have been my first choice, but at least it wasn’t a David/Dixie, David/Krystal or David/Babe scene. Sick puppy that I am, I love David’s view of life.  If David had been wearing jeans during his scenes, they would have been perfection indeed. 

Annie shooting Ryan could have been perfection, if Ryan had died. Then Jon and Erin, overcome by grief, could have left town to heal, never to return. What a perfect trifecta that would have been.   

Jonathan, himself, hit the PV Trifecta this week. First, Amanda gave him quite a dose of sexual healing. Second, he killed Terry putting the stalker storyline out of our misery. Third, the scales have clearly fallen from Jackson’s eyes and he sees Jon for the saint he truly is. (It really is hard to type and gag at the same time.) 

Jeff is seeing Erica with new eyes, which does not bode well for her marriage to Jack. (When Jeff told her she looked more beautiful than ever, did anyone else half expect Erica to say, “Well, I have been using this wonderful new product called Youthful Essence.” ?)  Will Krystal being seeing her doctor soon about her fears that she is pregnant? Will we ever see s’more of Simone?  Will Lil’A ever again be as delightful as he was this week? Which leads me to this week’s award. The Now That’s the Way to Play a Scene with a Toddler award goes to David “ants in his pants” Canary. 

Will this week’s spoilers have us feeling antsy or not? Let’s see: 

Now that the sea cruise is over: 

Colby is still missing, leading Adam and JR to believe she is dead. 

Adam and JR are undoubtedly sad, but for me, the thought of Colby being dead makes me happy. Very happy. 

While out and about, Sean appears unconcerned about Colby’s “death.” In private, his reaction is quite the opposite. 

If Adam Chandler held me responsible for his daughter’s death, I would be the opposite of “unconcerned”, too. 

Krystal explains to Sydney that Colby’s bad behavior is caused by her insecurity. 

“But Mrs. Chandler, why should she be insecure? After all, Brian Frons declared she is AMC’s next big star!” 

Surprise! Colby is not dead, she is hiding out in the tunnels underneath the mansion. 

Hmm, those are pre-Civil War tunnels. Is it mean to hope there is a fatal tunnel cave-in?  Probably, but not as mean as making viewers endure Colby.

A seemingly dead sister is only one of JR’s problems. 

Even though he is visibly distraught, JR refuses to open up to Babe.

The real question is, does he open up a bottle of his old friend Jim Beam? 

Feeling rejected, Babe seeks comfort from Josh. This equation is so easy we don’t need Lily to figure it out: Babe + Josh +Comfort =hot sex. 

Please don’t let the next equation be: Babe + Josh + Hot Sex = “Who’s the Daddy?” 

The junior Chandler marriage is not the only one in trouble. 

Colby discovers the tunnels are perfect for eavesdropping when she overhears Krystal and Tad fighting about Adam. 

“Krystal, what do you mean Adam is bigger than I am? It’s not true, Dixie promised me it wasn’t true. I mean Dixie might lie about our daughter being dead but she wouldn’t lie about something important like the size of my genitals, would she?”  

Erica grows closer to Jeff and farther away from Jack. 

This should be interesting since Erica and Jeff never were very close, especially while married. And Erica and Jack were close until they married. “Erica + Marriage = Close” is an invalid equation. 

Kendall and Ryan share a passionate kiss. 

It really is hard to type and gag at the same time. 

Other stuff happens, too. 

Ryan catches Dixie stalking Kendall.  

OK, maybe “spying on” is a little more accurate than “stalking.”  

Lily comes out of her catatonic state. She wants to see her father but does not want to see Jonathan. 

Want to bet Lily wakes up a little more “normal” than before her catatonia? Also want to bet that Jackson tries to persuade his daughter to see Jonathan? While we are at it, want to bet that soon AMC’s ratings slip from slightly above Passions to slightly below? 

Julia explains to Di why she just ended her relationship with Jamie. 

“He told me he was going to be a doctor.  I didn’t spend NINE YEARS in the WPP just to wind up with some guy who doesn’t know what he wants to be when he grows up!” 

Oh, those AMC actors. 

AMC has told Vincent Irizarry that his services are no longer required. Expect the evil, but sexy, Dr. David Hayward to leave the Valley very soon. 

This news makes me sad, very sad. I have not always enjoyed David’s actions, but I have always enjoyed the intelligent layers of Mr. Irizarry’s portrayal.  This is one actor who never phones it in, even when the writing is less than wonderful. Hell, even when the writing is truly awful, Mr. Irizarry makes it work.  I will miss both the actor and the character quite a bit.  

It’s not just losing David that makes me sad. It’s that TPTB think getting rid of him, and Mr. Irizarry, is a good idea. An interesting, complex, adult character played by a really good actor. This type of decision does not make AMC’s future seem very bright.  Sometimes, like this week, I feel my days as a loyal AMC viewer winding down and that makes me sad, indeed. 

Marcus Patrick has decided to leave AMC. The role of Jamal will be recast. 

I like the actor well enough, but can hardly blame him for deciding to seek employment elsewhere. 

Here’s another week in the Valley!