AMC Spoiler Commentary by Kate Brown

For the week of Nov 6, 2006

It turned out that David’s scotch was drug free but I am not so sure about Adam’s. After all, Adam had to be under some extreme influence to thank Krystal for lying about Babe’s affair. Adam is one of Pine Valley’s better parents. True, he uses his fortune and/or sexual prowess to occasionally buy off a judge, but when tough parenting is called for, Adam comes through. Who demonstrated tough love during the Mirabess mess? It was Adam. Getting JR to face the truth was the right, loving and extremely difficult thing to do and Adam did it. The true Adam, the one that came with a complete set of family jewels, would not keep Babe’s behavior from JR. If only because Adam is enough of realist to know that infidelity is not an exception for Babe, it’s her M.O.

Adam is suddenly not just being a bad parent to JR, he is also treating Colby poorly. In keeping Babe’s secret, Adam is betraying Colby. He knows his daughter was telling the truth yet continues to let Colby think he believes her to be a liar. What has Colby learned from this? It doesn’t matter whether she lies or not, no one will believe her anyway.

Shame on you, Adam.

One good thing could have come from all this, but, alas, it did not. If only Babe had been royally pissed at Krystal for spilling her secret, and if only Krystal had responded, “Look, babydoll, you may not care about my future, but I do. If telling Adam the truth about your sordid sex-ca-pades is what it takes to keep me riding on the Chandler Gravy Train, then that’s what I am gonna do.”

See, wouldn’t that have been fun?

Spike provided us with some real fun this week. I loved how he flashed his “what an ass!” smile while Del was pushing his book proposal at Zach. (Yes, I know it was probably gas, but it made me laugh.)

Guess Paris turned out not to be much fun for Bianca after all. Let’s see if I have this right: Maggie has decided she needs to taste all the lovely pastries The City of Light has to offer. Then, should Maggie decide that Binky’s éclair still tastes the best, she can come back, no questions asked?

Yeah, right, as if any Kane woman would stand, or lie, for that kind of behavior. However, it is a perfect way for TPTB to keep Bianca in a lesbian limbo state while waiting for Maggie to work her way through the patisseries of Paris. I would much prefer Bianca pass the time making new friends at The Blue Angel.

Speaking of friends, where is Annie’s good friend Di? Shouldn’t she be right in the middle of the mess between her sister and her friend? The lack of Di screen time is making me a bit nervous about her future in PV.

Her sister, Dixie, on the other hand, is getting way too much screen time. I wanted to throttle her during the endless explanation of how Emma’s new “bear” would be even better than her old “bear.” In addition to being just plain wrong headed it was also rather creepy because Dixie used the same tone when she tried to convince Zach she would be better for him than Kendall.

I watch these Dixie scenes and wonder what happened to the Cady McClain I so enjoyed on ATWT.

Was there a clue to the Annie/Emma backstory this Friday? It was a throw away comment Annie made to Ryan about “how wonderful it is when you get someone to join in your fantasy with you.” Did Terry join her in a fantasy about having a baby at any cost?

One of my fantasies is finding Myrtle perched on the edge of my desk. Lucky Zach. Every Myrtle scene is a treasure. Shouldn’t Myrtle also be swinging by the Valley Inn and asking Erica what the hell she is doing leaving Jack all by his lonesome? And now that the Sweeps party is over, what will Erica’s new excuse be for not moving home?

I hope JR tosses Babe out of her home and into Josh’s arm. In fact, I hope Josh and Babe marry. Why? So we can see Josh transform from a man who says with awe, “Babe is a miracle” to a man who screams with anger, “my wife is a lying, cheating whore.”

Two men deserve awards this week, both for asking questions.

The “It’s About Damned Time You Asked This Question” award goes to JR for querying Babe, “How did this become about you trusting me?

This week’s award for “The Most Rhetorical Question Ever Asked” goes to Josh for asking Kendall, “Is he (Zach) so good in bed that you just don’t give a damn?” Well,duh…

Will this week’s spoilers have us reaching for the scotch or not? Let’s see:

Good times are not happening at Casa Chandler.

Babe tells JR that it’s true, she had sex with Josh. In a kiddie pool.

It’s bad enough to be a cuckold, but it’s downright humiliating to have the cuckolding event take place in a kiddie pool, don’t you think?

JR storms out, not giving Babe a chance to explain that she loves him. Really she does.

JR really is evil, isn’t he? In his twisted little world, adultery is a bad thing.

Babe begs Adam to go after JR.

Her concern is truly touching, isn’t it? Well, after all, Babe is love. Love with an STD kickback.

Krystal begs Adam not to hurt Babe.

It’s during moments like this when I really want to hurt Krystal.

Meanwhile, Josh is trying to find comfort with Erin.

What Josh did was awful, but not even he deserves having to spend time with Erin.

JR waits in Josh’s hotel room. Since he doesn’t feel like doing any carpentry projects, JR is forced to pass the time by drinking.

That’s it, JR, punish Josh by running up his minibar tab!

Binky goes to Josh’s room for a chat. Instead of finding her brother, Bianca finds a drunk and bellicose JR.

Oh goody, we’ll get to see my favorite Bianca, the sanctimonious one.

Hearing JR yelling at Bianca, Erica enters the room. Mother and daughter try to keep JR from going after Josh.

I suspect a drunken JR will be no match for the power of Kane.

Instead of making it out the door, JR stumbles out the window instead.

It’s not easy walking around drunk when you have cloven hooves.

Josh finds a bloodied JR lying unconscious in the alley. Josh takes a moment to think over his options and then decides to help JR.

I expect later Josh will want lots of points for doing the right thing. Why? Because he is both a Kane and a Martin.

The action moves to PVH:

JR undergoes surgery; surgery he may not survive.

Does his ultimate survival depend on the quality of his medical care? No, it depends on the quality of Jacob Young’s contract negotiations.

Babe unleashes her anger at Josh. Bianca steps in, pointing out that Josh saved JR’s life.

So, will Babe stay angry at Josh or will she take him to a supply closet for a little reward?

Dixie yells at Babe.

Apparently Dixie did not get the “Babe is love” memo.

Other stuff happens, too.

Ryan and Annie find out about a rare condition that could explain the unexplainable DNA test.

How cute, Ryan and Annie stayed up watching Law & Order reruns together.

Tad promises Dixie that if Emma is Kate, she will be a part of their lives.

That poor child.

Jeff kisses Erica.

I wonder if he gets to use his tongue? I am pretty certain he wasn’t allowed to do that during their marriage. The Erica/Jeff marriage was one of the most passionless in all of AMC history.

Erica refuses to move back home after she argues with Jack about Jeff.

Let’s face it, if they had not argued about Jeff, they would have argued about something else, making it impossible for her to move home. Erica just does not want to go home. Time to put in a distress call to Myrtle.

David’s cryptic words confuse Dixie.

“I’ve been thinking, Dixie, and I realize you are just not that special.”

(After all, any man saying that would confound Dixie for days.)

Oh, those AMC actors:

After months of speculation, it’s now official that Julia Barr’s days as Brooke are numbered. Ms. Barr declined AMC’s offer to go to recurring status. And who can blame her? I certainly can’t. Over the past several years, TPTB have ignored many great opportunities for a Brooke-centric story. Idiots.

And, also not quite a surprise, Terri Ivens is leaving AMC. While Simone does not have Brooke’s history with AMC, there were will still plenty of Simone stories that could have been told, but were not.

On that note, it’s kind of hard to look forward to another week in the Valley , but I’m game if you are.