AMC Spoiler Commentary by Kate Brown

For the Week of December 17, 2007

Kate is not feeling well this week and will be unable to contribute a column.

For the Week of December 10, 2007

Who hates Tad more than Adam does? The writers. It all started when Megan McTavish made a last minute decision to have Tad be the one who buried Greg Madden. She stated that viewers would find it shocking and out of character for Tad. Ms. MctTavish truly believed the viewers would enjoy this story “twist.”I found it more appalling than shocking. I agree that it was out of character for Tad. It was also out of character for Tad to aid and abet the Mirabess Mess. Couple those two events, throw in Tad’s increasing penchant for hyperbole and hypocrisy and what do you get? An almost unrecognizable Tad.

All my life, I've suffered because of him.

What can I say? When Tad’s right, he’s right. Remember when Adam broke Tad’s arm and tossed him out of the car in the middle of the woods? Adam rigging Greg and Jenny’s jet ski to explode was a truly heinous act. I don’t know how the Prince of Darkness made Tad cheat on Dixie but somehow he managed. Then there was the time Adam blew up a bridge causing Tad’s amnesia. Adam must have had been in true evil heaven when he forced Leslie Coulson to aid in Tad’s plan to destroy David. We all know Dixie fled to Switzerland because of Adam. Adam even made Dixie sign Kate away to Greg. And how can we forget the evil puppet master making Dixie lurk around PV for months and months?

Don’t kid yourself. Zach is nobody to deal with

if you back him into a corner.

Remember when Tad was backed into a corner about Madden’s death? Obviously Tad has forgotten it was Zach who rescued him. By confessing to a felony. True heroes don’t have to make themselves appear virtuous by pointing out everyone else’s flaws. Of course these days there are no true heroes in Pine Valley.

If he wanted to help JR he should have left him alone

and let Dixie raise him.

JR might have been better off being raised by Dixie alone. The key word being “alone.” However Dixie wasn’t alone. For most of JR’s childhood she was married to Tad. JR spent more time at the Martin’s house than at Casa Chandler. Tad often claims that JR’s lack of trust came from Adam. Adam did contribute to JR’s inability to trust but Tad’s inability to remain faithful to Dixie was also a major contributing factor. One Tad/JR scene still lingers in my head. Dixie was divorcing Tad because he lied about bringing Leslie Coulson back to PV. A young JR was furious at Tad for not keeping his promise that the family would always be together. I suspect that had more than a little something to do with JR’s inability to trust anyone. Oh and then there was the time Tad let JR believe his son was dead. Yep, JR’s problems are all Adam’s fault.

I have long hoped for someone to slap Krystal and maybe shake her, too. Yet this week I was happy when Krystal slapped Tad and angry at him for manhandling her. This makes me weep.

Michael E. Knight is more than capable of making Tad’s redemption believable. His performance supported by good writing would be a joy to watch. Unfortunately the redemption process could take years. I’m not sure AMC will be around that long.

What else. What else.

“We can dig our way out.” Out of the cave or out of the story?

JR has chemistry with almost every female that crosses his path. Kendall, Babe, Amanda. He even had chemistry with Di while she was pretending to be his mother, a chemistry that didn’t disappear when Di became his lying aunt. The only female JR doesn’t have chemistry with is Ava. Even her Breasts of Booze can’t make that relationship work.

“How difficult is it to get copies of a parole hearing?” Ryan asks yet another rhetorical question. In Pine Valley it’s possible to get a copy of anything. The PV Kinkos must be the busiest one in the world.

Kendall locating Aidan in the dark woods without a flashlight was impressive. That woman has mad skillz.

“Like some stupid apology is going to make it all better.” Thus Aidan secures his seat on the hypocrisy train. This is breaking my Spotted Dick loving heart.

“Just do the right thing.” At least Babe is being written true to character. She’s always been a hypocrite.

“Your other dad Zach.” I enjoyed Ryan’s scenes with Spike. I really did.

Adam must be rethinking his household staff’s Christmas bonus and I don’t blame him. The adoption paper has been under his couch for months.

Livia! Livia! We saw Livia!

“She wouldn’t be shopping at some mall.” Aidan was right about that; Greenlee wouldn’t be caught dead shopping at a mall.

“I don’t like being the bad guy.” But Richie, you’re so damn good at it.

“If you love a felon you can work with one.” I hope Kendall uses that line in her book.

“Zach, oh my god, you’re a rock star.” Does playing Kendall’s heart strings make Zach a rock star? Works for me.

“I’ve known you a longtime, Tad. I know when you’re withholding information.” Oh Erica, if only your Tad-reading abilities were working during the Mirabess Mess.

I loved Kendall’s red crowbar. Aidan was lucky Kendall didn’t also have a knife strapped to her thigh.

Mr. Novak heading back to Chicago after his conversation with Richie was realistic. The crazy person is often the most powerful member of the family.

It’s good to see humor returning to AMC. The Lavery boys as feds made me laugh. It’s hard to believe that the writers didn’t mean the scenes to be humorous.

“Let me run this guy down.” Regrettably Jonathan wasn’t talking about Brian Frons.

Will this week’s spoilers be better than shopping at a mall or not? Let’s see.

Looking for some holiday spirit? Don’t waste time looking for it in Pine Valley.

Krystal and Tad’s joint parenthood is not working out quite the way they had hoped.

Krystal decides she and Jenny need to leave town in order to escape Adam. She invites Tad to come along. She also asks Ryan, Jonathan, Babe and Ava to join them.

Of course the latter part isn’t true but imagining it might be true was fun, wasn’t it?

Tad suspects Krystal’s motives for leaving aren’t pure.

Honey, nothing about Krystal is pure. Hasn’t been for years.

Tad realizes that Krystal will never be able to truly leave Adam.

When you get right down to it Tad has never been able to truly leave Adam, either.

Tad sues Krystal for full custody of Jenny.

Hell has officially frozen over. I find myself on Krystal’s side. And it’s all Tad’s fault.

Adam discovers that Kathy is Kate.

Adam being Adam he will probably trade Kate for Tad’s dropping the custody suit. In Adam’s position Tad would do exactly the same thing but with less finesse.

Over at PVH there’s tension, not Christmas, in the air.

Ryan convinces Joe to move Richie to the psychiatric ward.

Just once I’d like someone to sue Joe for malpractice. Just once.

Shortly after arriving at the psych ward Richie makes a new friend. It’s Janet!

More Janet is always a good thing. Janet and Richie should be interesting. However if Richie hurts Janet he will no longer be my BFF.

Kendall and Ryan anxiously wait while Spike is in surgery.

Let’s hope Ryan’s wait is not just anxious but also quiet.

It’s The Great Escape II ! Starring Zach and Greenlee.

Aidan offers free rent to Dre. There’s only one condition, Dre has to help search for Greenlee.

Let’s take a vote. If your loved one was missing, who would you prefer do the searching? A) the police B) a band of secret but experienced operatives or C) a member of a garage band? Just asking.

The skeleton hand freaks out Greenlee.

“That thing is freaking me out. I mean really, really freaking me out.”

A snake bites Greenlee.

And all this time I thought snakes never bit one of their own.

Zach treats Greenlee’s snakebite.

Does this mean Zach will have to suck out the venom? I do not want to see Zach sucking on any part of Greenlee’s body.

Greenlee sees another side of Zach.

If Zach moons Greenlee I’m shooting my TV.

Other stuff happens, too.

Amanda trades the DVD to Adam for a lot, and I mean a lot, of cash.

Oh Amandabelle, I am so darn proud of you.

Jack rejects Erica.

Didn’t he do that last week?

Jonathan is the only one who can stop Lily from saying “~~rosebud~~ murder” over

and over and over again.

“Hi Lily, it’s Jonathan. You don’t have to be afraid now. Murder isn’t such a scary thing. Remember our first date? You saw me kill Edmund. Later we got married. Sometimes a good thing can come from a bad thing. Not that murder is bad thing.”

Here’s to another week in the Valley!